Broken
by Ilyik
Summary: ABCs of Writing prompt. Rey was abused all her life. It was her normalcy. Ben was temperamental and could never control his anger very well. When the two meet, who will help who? Warning: abuse, insinuated rape (not Ben), depression/angst. AU Reylo. Rated T for theme.
1. Ben

**A/N: Hey all! This is the second installment to ABCs of Writing prompt! This the second installment: B. So let's see what I can pull together with this. Not sure at the current moment if I want this to be a one-shot or a multi-chapter story. We'll see what happens!**

**WARNING: Has themes of abuse, depression and some PTSD. If there's some triggers that may happen for you in this, please don't read.**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 1: Ben_

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All her life she had been abused. If not physically, then mentally and verbally. Her foster care guy, Plutt, had been none too kind to her as she was there, using her small, lithe form to help him scavenge parts from a junk yard. She had a rough life. Her parents were dead and she was abandoned to the foster system. She hadn't met any nice people while she was in the system. She met no one that cared for her, truly cared for her. They all were superficial, or wanted to use her for their own gain. Plutt was no different. He used her for her work. He resented the fact that he had to feed her. He resented the fact that he had to take care of her and clothe her, which was why her clothes fell apart most of the time. Because of that, she quickly learned how to sew. She knew how to repair holes and hem and everything of the sort.

She had gotten away from Plutt after she turned sixteen. He started to bring some shady characters around and noticed the way they were looking at her. She had a few close encounters with them, but thankfully she knew how to take care of herself. She fought them off and ran away, never to return to Plutt's establishment again. It was then that she found her boyfriend. She had stuck with him, running the streets and fending for each other. But he got into drugs. And became abusive.

It seemed she was only capable of being abused. Her thoughts drifted to her past abuse. He had tried to rape her, but she quickly got away, and because of her efforts to fend him off, he had landed a punch to her face, splitting her lip and bruising her cheek. As she had roamed the streets, she felt broken. Her world was not a good one. She lived in a dark place, her light fizzling out slowly. No one would help her. No one would save her. She was alone. She was broken.

That's when they found her. The Skywalkers. She had been taken in and cared for as she never was before. She lived at Luke's place with frequent visits from Luke's sister, Leia. They had taken care of her and Luke had tried his best to get her into therapy, but she was still so untrusting. She relayed all the events she had been through from a young age to Luke, refusing to speak with a therapist. If she was going to live with this _man_, she had to make sure he understood her. And didn't do anything stupid. Of course, she would only speak to him when Leia was present. The rest of the time, she stayed holed up in the garage, tinkering with mechanical things.

Luke had discovered that she had an eye for fixing things. And that's how they bonded. He quickly set out to gain her trust by teaching all he knew about mechanics. About repairing and refurbishing things. About cars. About small engines. Any kind of machines he needed to repair or make better, he taught her. And she was grateful. The trust started to build between them. She started to open up freely when they were alone, tinkering with things. She felt safe. She felt welcome. She felt _wanted_. It was no small feat to make Rey feel welcome and wanted, especially with her past.

But Luke accomplished it. Slowly, but surely, she began to tell him of her past. From Plutt's using her, to almost selling her into child prostitution to his friends, to abusing her verbally and physically. Her lack of self image and her skittishness around people, especially men. Her boyfriend that tried to take advantage of her none too kindly – she couldn't bring herself to say "rape" – and then abandoning her as if she was useless to her as soon as she fought him off. Luke could barely make out a scar on her bottom lip from that incident. He never asked, but she willingly told him. She had cried a little and all Luke could do was put a warm blanket around her and fix her some tea to help calm her. She was grateful for his non-intrusiveness. She was grateful that he didn't try to put his arm around her because she wasn't ready for any man to do that. She hated men. She hated the way they smelled, the way they looked, the way they sounded. She hated it all. She wasn't a lesbian, by any means, but she just couldn't be around men because all the men in her life abused her in some way, shape or form.

It had been three years since she came to live with Luke. Their bond had strengthened to that of being close to a father to her. She still had some things she wouldn't share with him, but he was respectful of her space. He never pushed her into anything. He never was aggressive with her. He was very calm, collected, cool-headed. She needed someone like that around her. Luke pushed her to attend a college when she was eighteen. A mechanics school not too far from the house. Luke and her had been working on a car for quite some time and she had helped him repair it and make it better. The day she was accepted to Ahch-To University was the day that she was notified that their project... was hers. It was the first time she hugged him.

Now, at the age of twenty-two, she had graduated and was now working in Luke's mechanic shop, jobs coming in steadily. She had made a few girlfriends along the way, like Rose Tico. She was the only one to stay around. Rose's sister, Paige, had gone off to a military academy to learn how to by an air force pilot, a bomber specifically. And Rose had been particularly sad that day when Rey met her. She struggled to put together an electronic and Rey could tell she was flustered, and was using the wrong tools in the process, so she had walked over to her and handed her the right wrench. The two had hit it off and been together ever since. Rose had gotten a job at the same garage, working in parts and maintenance, while Rey was up front and working directly on the clients' property that came through from cars to small engines to whatever else.

It was fine this way.

Until _he_ came.

He was a very bad-tempered person, someone Rey made an effort to stay away from or it would strike some sort of PTSD with her. But Rey wasn't the type to cry in front of others. No, she was the type to get angry and venomous. And that was what she had done with him. His name was Ben Solo. She had found out that he was related to Luke, who was his uncle. Rey wasn't officially adopted by the Skywalkers. She was a stray that Luke and Leia tried their best to take care of, but she was never officially adopted.

Ben had come to the shop one day with his fast car that he had tried to tinker with. He came in, voice raised, demanding to see Luke. She just eyed him for a moment when he stopped his tirade, looked up from his phone to continue his demand and eyes widened a fraction at her face. She didn't understand why he had looked at her that way, or why he nervously cleared his throat, shoved his phone back into his pocket and glanced away from her. "Where is Luke?" he asked a bit more calmly, voice deep and smooth, a contrast to his angry voice earlier that was strained and agitated.

She paused for a moment, considering him for a moment. He had long luscious hair and a strong face, dark eyes to match. He struck her as the brooding type. And well, she wasn't wrong. But she found it rather cute how he suddenly changed his tone with her. Was it because she was a woman? Or was it something different? He refused to meet her gaze again as they stood in silence for a moment. She then turned on her heel and sighed. "I'll get him," she said, a slight British-sounding accent coming from her retreating form. She heard a small "Thank you" from behind her, making her question if she truly heard it.

That was the first time she met Ben. He was a character. Full of rage and angst. Luke later told her that he was about four or five years her senior, but still mentally younger than her. She laughed at that. She could tell he had a temper tantrum problem. All in all, he was someone she needed to stay away from. She left Luke and Ben to talk alone, Ben's voice raising as he yelled at his uncle about his Nissan GTR giving him a lot of crap. She heard the small hum of Luke's leveled response. More yelling. More humming. Yelling. Humming.

Rey rolled her eyes. They were going to be a while, she thought, until she heard Luke calling for her. She came to him, wrench in hand and grease stains over her face. She glanced at Ben for a moment before her eyes settled on Luke, waiting for what he needed. "Can you fix it?" Luke asked as he thumbed at the car.

Rey looked at the car for a moment, then at Ben, then at Luke. "What's wrong with it?"

Ben let out a sigh then as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't be here," he bit out.

Rey looked at the car for a moment and walked over to it. Ben followed her with his eyes, as if considering her. She bent over the car, inspecting the engine for a brief moment. "Turn it on," she called from under the hood. Ben rolled his eyes and turned it on, the noise roaring to life in her ears. There were some weird noises, but other than that, nothing out of the norm. "Gas mileage?"

"Dropped."

"Overheating?"

"No."

"Lag?" she asked, looking out at him from under the hood to see him under it with her. Luke was mysteriously missing, she noticed.

He stared at her incredulously for a moment. "Yes."

She nodded and hummed to herself. "You can shut it off," she said as she got out from under the hood. He did and crossed his arms over his chest. She thought about it for a moment as she wiped the back of her hand on her forehead, leaving some car residue behind in a small black mark. "O2 sensors?"

Ben thought about it for a moment before glancing at his car. "Shouldn't need replacing."

Rey shrugged. "Worth a shot. If that's not what it is, I'll pay for it," she said as she crossed her arms and looked at him.

Ben glared hard at her. "What makes you think I'll let you mess with my car under some sort of guess?"

"Because that's all mechanics are about: guess work. You don't go to a doctor and they know exactly what's wrong without analyzing the symptoms, do you?" Ben remained silent. "You could always take it home and do it yourself," she bit out at him before she uncrossed her arms and started to walk away.

"Wait," he called, reaching out to grab her wrist.

She bristled under his touch, snatching her arm away from him and glaring daggers at him. "Don't touch me!" she hissed as she shrunk back defensively.

Ben was frozen in spot. What was wrong with her? Had his touch really harmed her that badly? He looked into her eyes for a long moment, seeing the fear and anger and... trauma? He then noticed the scar on her lip and the way she shrunk into herself. Something happened. He stood, letting his arm fall to his side. "...sorry," he offered as he looked away. "How long will it take you to fix it?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

Rey silently relived memories as Ben stood before her. He had grabbed her. And it wasn't softly. She hated it. She hated it when her body reacted this way. The memories flooded back in sharp agonizing re-enactments. Her mind raced and her heart thumped in her chest savagely. Her breathing was ragged as she tried to get ahold of herself. _"Calm down, Rey. He wasn't trying to harm you. He just wanted to-"_ His apology interrupted her thoughts. He was genuinely sorry. He hadn't meant to hurt her or anything. Thought it was slightly easier to deal with, Rey still wasn't back to normal yet. "Few hours," she bit out, voice quivering slightly.

Ben nodded silently as he turned on his heel, went around the garage and entered into Luke's house. When he was gone, Rey let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. Tears flooded down her face as all of her agony and pain surfaced all over again. If she were alone and not on the job, she would have picked the nearest corner to curl up in and rock herself to normalcy again. But she couldn't afford to do that. She instead got to work on Ben Solo's car.

**~x~x~x~x~**

Hours later, she was done and Ben and Luke walked outside together. They watched as Rey moved the car back into position, off the ramps, and back into a parking space. She emerged without grease on her face or hands. It as the first time Ben got a good look at her. His eyes ran over her quietly. She had a lean form, muscle on her arms and legs, apparent of her hard work. She was shorter than him, which was expected since he was freaking massive. Her hair was a beautiful shade of brown and her eyes were something he would love to get lost in. He stopped himself from thinking that way about her. This girl was clearly broken. He had merely grabbed her wrist and she was instantly on the defensive as if someone had violated her before.

And from the way she was standing so far away from him now, he could tell that was the case. She refused to get close to him. She refused to let their hands touch as she dropped they keys into his upturned palm. When he stepped forward to take them, he had noticed that she had flinched a bit, but as soon as he received them, she stepped back and out of the way. "It's not lagging anymore. Time will tell about the fuel mileage," she said softly as she turned on her heel and retreated into the house.

Ben looked at Luke then, curiosity in his dark eyes. He wanted to ask, but he refused to let his uncle know he was concerned. Luke knew what his nephew was thinking and confirmed his fears. Ben found out more about Rey that day, not too much, but enough to know he had made a grave mistake. He silently vowed to try to make it up to her and get her to trust him, no matter how long it took.


	2. Burn

**A/N: So apparently this is going to be a chapter story, too lol Anyway! Read and review! Let me know what you think!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 2: Burn_

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It had been a few weeks since Ben had come by the shop. She was starting to recover after she sat down and spoke with Luke about what had happened. It set her back a little, he knew. She was having an issue recovering from it, but it was slow and steady. She overheard Luke call Ben and tell him to stay away for a while, and she was silently grateful for it. To be honest, she was trying to sort through the feelings that surged through her when he grabbed her.

She sighed as she got out of the shower. As she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, hair falling at her shoulders, she replayed every scar she noticed on her body. The split on her lip from her ex and what she'd done to earn that. Then her eyes traveled south and on her left shoulder, she saw a long skinny scar. Plutt had whipped her with jumper cables when she messed up an order for him for the junk yard parts. He had sent her in to get an alternator and she came back with a starter. It was when she was first learning the parts as he did. She was sent with no picture, just a part. She knew the general whereabouts of it in the car, but she didn't know exactly which one it was. She had gotten a lashing from that one when she came back after two hours of prying it off of an old '96 Ford Mustang.

She cringed at that beating. If she could see behind her, she was sure she had scars down her back that matched the one on her shoulder. She had been torn up that night. Unable to deal with the memories, she pulled away from the mirror and looked down at her wrist where Ben had grabbed her. Her gaze softened a fraction. His hand was warm and large on her small wrist. There was a small comfort in his grasp, but it scared the death out of her at the same time. She didn't want to feel comfortable with anyone. She didn't want anyone to hold her like that. All she could think about was the countless times she'd tried to escape her boyfriend who was hellbent on violating her. He grabbed her that way.

She grew angry at herself for being so weak. Her previously opened hand closed into a fist as she snatched some clothes out of her dresser and dressed herself. She wore a white tank, bra white as well, and grey capris that came to her shins with black panties underneath. She sat on her floor silently, absently reading her mechanics book from college, but not focusing on the words. Her wrist burned. She frowned as she shook her wrist and looked down at it. Why couldn't she get his hand out of her mind? It was a simple gesture. He was trying to stop her from leaving, right? But it was so desperate. It was as if he didn't want her to leave. Scared, almost. She shook her head and cursed her wandering mind. This stupid brooding idiot that she couldn't get her mind off of.

Her wrist continued to burn, a constant reminder of his hand being there earlier today. She had scrubbed her whole body, pale skin red from the abrasive actions. She wanted the grime and the touches to be off of her. She could feel everyone's hands over her and it freaked her out. She was almost obsessive with the way she had scrubbed her body as if she was trying to permanently get off the stains from their defiling hands. But it was still there. Her mind was racing as she had scrubbed and scrubbed, breaking skin at some parts.

She frowned at herself now. People had seriously damaged such a strong-willed woman. She had made herself into a strong person, only for one person to unravel her. With a simple touch. She frowned as she looked down at the accounting books she had found herself at. She must have been so lost in her own thoughts that she wandered into the office. She shrugged and sat down as she started to record all the receipts and things from today. Luke trusted her math and she found herself doing this on a daily basis. It was a nice distraction, she had to admit. She didn't want to think or focus on anything else at the moment. She knew that was dangerous. As she focused on the books, she found herself drifting to sleep, head laying on the book and pen falling to the ground. She let exhaustion claim her as she slept there silently.

Until the dreams started.

_Rey ran through an alleyway, face covered in a sheen of sweat, gasping for air as she pushed further as if her life depended on it. She tripped over an uneven patch in the cobblestone and fell to her knees, scratching her knees up as she slid. She cursed silently, struggling to get back up and continue running. She heard footsteps rapidly increasing, growing closer to her as the seconds ticked on. Panic rose in her chest as she struggled to get up with every ounce of energy she had left._

_She finally made it to her feet, only to be grabbed and wrenched backwards, shirt ripping as strong hands ripped and slashed at her clothing. She screamed and struggled, fear overriding any competent thought process she had as she kicked and flailed to get away from her assailant. A sickening laugh invaded her ears as she found her back pressed roughly against the bricks of the building. She cried out in pain as her shirt was snatched open, bra cutting into her as it too ripped from the force. Tears pricked at her eyes as she glared at her assailant. His face was covered in shadows, but his eyes shone with a murderous, ravenous intent to devour her any way he could._

_He grew closer to her and she smelled the stench of alcohol and cigarettes. It nauseated her. She turned her head away and lips roughly assaulted her neck, making her whimper and struggle more before a knee found its way between her legs rather aggressively. She let out a scream of fear and pain as teeth bit roughly into her shoulder._

_And then it was over. The assailant was ripped away from her, her body crumpling to the floor as she watched another form punching the other into a bloody mess. She cried to herself and tried to scurry away, but a strong hand held onto her wrist. It was gentle. It was different. She gasped in fear, looking back at the person grabbing her. She made out dark hair and dark eyes staring at her with such gentleness that she felt compelled to trust him. He helped her to her feet and she collapsed against him, the last thing she felt was the burning of her wrist._

Rey awoke with a start, gasping for air as she looked down at her wrist, checking her shoulder for bite marks and her clothes to see if they were still in place. Her vision became clearer and she saw Luke standing in the doorway, a look of sadness in his eyes, as if he pitied her. "Another nightmare?" he asked softly, keeping his distance as he knew he had to do.

Rey nodded with shame. It was so embarrassing when she had these stupid things. She brought a shaking hand up to her head and cradled her aching forehead as she leaned over the books she was doing last night when she fell asleep. Tears silently fell, her body wracking with fear and anger. She heard Luke's soft footsteps approaching slowly. She heard a cup being placed on the desk and she looked at it. Coffee. She heard Luke's footsteps retreating as slowly as they'd approached and she cried out a soft "Thank you" to him.

"Take your time coming to work," he said gently as he left her in the room.

Rey nodded her head quietly as she hesitantly grabbed for her coffee. Black with a small amount of creamer in it. Just as she liked. She smiled sadly at the coffee that was rippling under her shaking grasp. Her mind went back to her nightmare... or rather dream this time. It had a good outcome this time. Rather unexpected, sure, but it didn't end the way it normally did, where no one saved her. She thought about the face she'd seen that saved her. The burning in her wrist reminded her that it was him. Why had she dreamt that? Why was Ben Solo so special? He was a temperamental person. He had no relationship with her. He probably never would. She was damaged goods. She was too sensitive for him. Who in their right mind would want to put forth that much effort in someone else? She was broken. He was angry. He would only succeed in breaking her more without control over his temper. And the thought scared the life out of her.

But the thought also excited her.

She frowned at that. Why was she so excited about some temperamental man? He was by far the most ill tempered person she'd met in a while, so then why was she so excited that it was him that saved her? She scowled then. She drank her coffee silently, the burning in her wrist reminding her that he had put his hand on her. She shuddered, almost spilling her coffee over Luke's record books. She cursed silently and set the cup down. What was happening to her? She ran her hands up her face and into her hair quietly. This was insane. Why was this happening? Why him? Why Ben Solo?

She stood, a scowl marring her beautiful features, before she stormed out of the office, coffee in hand. She went into the kitchen and saw some breakfast ready for her and she stopped just short of it. Luke knew her far too well. A small smirk came to her lips as she heard tools clatter and a string of Luke-modified curses came from the garage. She chuckled and sat down to eat her breakfast.

Once again her thoughts went back the burning in her wrist. She slowly started to get used to it. Halfway through her thoughts, she found herself absently stroking the touched spot. When she realized she was doing it, she stopped and sighed in disgust at herself. She went from fearing this man to now wanting him to touch her again. What was wrong with her? Did she develop some form of Stockholm Syndrome or something? She rolled her eyes at that. No way. He hadn't kidnapped her or anything of the sort, but she did remember the therapist telling her to be wary if she was going to find interest in someone to watch out for red flags and avoid them; not fall for them. She stared down at her steaming coffee, her plate long forgotten.

She wouldn't ever find anyone that would actually want to help her through this, would she? The thought kind of saddened her, but it didn't. She had a flurry of mixed emotions going on at the current moment. She wanted to find someone that understood her, besides her adoptive uncle. She knew that Ben Solo was far from that person. He could barely handle his own emotions. What made her think that he was capable of handling her? His face flashed in her mind. He did look sorry though...

She groaned at herself and stood from the table, figuring it was as good a time as any to go get dressed for work. She had to get her mind off of this man. She partially wondered if she was feeling this way because it was the first man to boldly touch her. But then again he did that out of ignorance. He'd probably gotten away with doing that to countless other women, so she wasn't special. She snorted at that. Yeah, that was it. He was probably a womanizer. He was certainly attractive enough to have multiple women falling at his-

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" she hissed as she stormed down the stairs from her bedroom to her garage. She was thankful that Luke had left her some jobs to do today. She needed a good distraction. She felt Luke's gaze on her as she tinkered angrily with a transmission she was working at rebuilding. She let out a string of curses under her breath as she wrenched the spider gears out of their place, the small things bouncing around on the floor, making her curse again. She let out a frustrated sigh before hearing Luke chuckle quietly under his breath. "What!?" she hissed, eyes full of malice, aimed at the old man that had just laughed at her.

"Rey, who are you thinking about?"

Her eyes widened at his gentle, yet knowing question. How did this old fart know she was thinking about someone?! Was he psychic or something?! She just stared at him, mouth agape as she tried to formulate a sentence. Say something, Rey! Anything to get him to shut up! Anything to throw him off track or shut the conversation down! Anything! Nothing came to mind. Except the burning. She instinctively grabbed for her wrist and rubbed it at the phantom pain that still radiated through her skin. Luke didn't miss this as he gave her a knowing smile. "It's ok to want to know him, Rey," he said softly. "He has a temper... but he's not all bad. You'll find that you two have more in common than you think," Luke said with a small smirk her way as he went back under the pickup he was messing with.

Before she could respond to his poking at her, she saw a familiar Nissan GTR pull up. Her eyes widened, breath catching in her throat. Why? Why was he here? She wanted to run away, but she was rooted to her chair as she held tightly to a stray part of the transmission, wrench tightly in her hand, knuckles white from how hard she was holding it. She couldn't break her eyes away as he shut the car off and stepped out, running his hand through his long black hair as Luke wheeled himself out from under the pickup. "Ah, Ben," he said as he hoisted himself to his feet with a grunt. "Right on time." He then turned to Rey and grinned wildly at her. "Rey, I need to go make a phone call. Can you entertain Ben for a few moments?"

If murder was legal right now... Rey glared at Luke for a moment. Luke then started to chuckle before walking past her, hand on her shoulder, leaning closer to her, but not threateningly so. "Give him a chance. Get to know him a little before you pass judgment on him," he whispered, disappearing into the house. Her eyes were glued to the very man that had invaded her thoughts and dreams. He stared back at her though, eyes cautious and... Was he admiring her?

He stayed where he was, leaning against his car with his arms over his chest. "About yesterday..." he started.


	3. Bet

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the attention this story is getting! I'm glad you're sticking with me and my ramblings! I'm attempting character development despite a struggle, so let's see how it goes with the two! There will be other characters thrown in later, maybe, but for right now, I'm trying to slowly work at Rey overcoming her struggle and Ben... well, Ben is Ben lol Anyway, enjoy!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 3: Bet_

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Rey's eyes hardened at him as he mentioned the very incident that plagued her all day and night. "What about it?" she hissed defensively at him.

Ben faltered for a moment. His gaze dropped then, finding his center so he wouldn't come off the wrong way again. "I wanted to apologize for grabbing you that way. I had no right," he said as his eyes found hers again, apology in his dark hues, trying his best to relay his sincerity.

Her heart fluttered a bit at that. No one had ever apologized for harming her that way before. Her cheeks started to tinge pink before she went back to her work uncomfortably. "Whatever," she said as she started to analyze the pieces in the transmission and replace the ones that looked faulty. As her small hands started to get the spider gears back in, she started to lose herself and forget he was even there. Until she heard his footsteps approaching. She bristled then, a spring popping out and whacking her in her eyebrow. She dropped the part she was working on, hands flying to her face as she cursed under her breath.

He was at her side in an instant. "Let me see," he said as he gently moved her hand away. There was no blood, but there was a scratch where it nicked her. "Are you all right?" he asked as he abruptly dropped her hands. It seemed to let her calm down again, he noticed.

"Yes, I'm fine," she hissed as she stood and put some distance between them, her going to the sink to wash the grease off of her hands. Her arms were burning again, this time both wrists were affected. She scrubbed the soap harder than she should have, the grit in it causing some abrasions as she violently tried to get his touch off of her. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Instead, she opted for anger. She rounded on him, hands still wet as she glared at him. "What's your-"

He held out the transmission part, fully put back together, as a peace offering she assumed. She tilted her head, mouth still parted in disbelief. "What-"

"Why are you so scared?" he asked boldly, ebony eyes intensely staring at her, as if searching her soul.

Rey stiffened at that for a fraction of a second before her glare intensified at him. "That's none of your business, Solo!" she hissed as she snatched the part from him, fingers touching only a split second. But it was enough to burn again. "Why do you care?"

Ben didn't know how to answer that. He did, but it would sound incredibly weird. He hesitated for a moment, silently choosing his words. But as soon as he opened his mouth to say something, Rey interrupted, shaking her head. "Forget it. It doesn't matter," she muttered as she stormed past him, careful not to touch him in the process.

He frowned then, turning to reach out to her, but stopped himself. "Rey!" he called, making her stop in her tracks for a moment. She hesitantly looked over her shoulder at him. He'd used her name. Sure, he knew it because of Luke, but it sounded nice coming from him. Her eyes searched his, hard and fearful and not knowing what he wanted of her. Now that Ben had her attention, he didn't know what to say. He just stared at her, not really wanting her to go, but unsure why he wanted to her to stay. "I'm sorry I hurt you yesterday. I have an... anger problem," he struggled to say as he averted his glance elsewhere.

Part of her wanted to listen to him, but the sarcastic and defensive side of her won. "Never would have guessed." There wasn't any venom behind her words; just sarcasm.

His lips twitched into a small grin then. And before she could take it in and admire it, it was gone. His eyes found hers again in a desperate attempt to keep this conversation going, though he didn't know why. She looked like a scared kitten. And he realized that he was part of the problem, which made his anger grow a little, but he tried to stamp it down the best he could. He didn't want to scare her again and start in the negative with her again. She slowly turned to look at the part in her hand. "Where did you learn to do this?" she asked as she turned to him fully.

Ben snorted. "My father knew his way around a garage. He was always repairing his hunk of junk," he replied as he considered her. "What about you?"

Rey glanced to the side, debating whether to tell him or not. "Luke," she said simply. It was a half-truth, but it was still true nonetheless.

Ben nodded quietly. "You had no experience before Luke?"

Rey hesitated, glancing up at him for a moment as she felt her past start to resurface. "Worked in a junkyard for a foster parent." She looked up at him with hard eyes then. "Stop asking."

Ben could tell it was difficult for her so he nodded his acknowledgement quietly. He noticed her hands shaking a bit and it made him frown. Something bad had happened to her. She was struggling to suppress it. He was scrambling to find anything to change the subject. _Think, Solo, think!_ "You did a good job on my car."

Rey looked at him then and gave him a small smile. It was slight, but it was beautiful nonetheless. It nearly took his breath away. She hid behind scowls and glares most of the time, but when she smiled, even if it was a slight one, she was so gorgeous. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

They fell into a comfortable silence, Ben leaning against his car again and Rey going back to work at rebuilding the transmission. When she couldn't find her wrench, Ben would tell her it was to her right, but never approach her. He could tell she had an issue with close proximity. He didn't ask any questions, and neither did she, but just the company was all right, she supposed.

It was only an hour that they were alone, but it seemed like forever, when Luke came back. A small grin was on his face as he clapped his hands really loud, making Rey jump and defensively throw a wrench at him. He caught it with ease and she'd realized what she'd done, but so did Ben, who snickered quietly. He would have loved for that wrench to make contact. Stupid old man and his quick reflexes. "Ok. It's official."

"What is?" Rey asked as he handed the wrench back to her.

"Starting tomorrow, Ben will be working with us," he said as a happy grin found its way to Luke's worn face.

Rey sputtered for a moment, looking at Luke to see if he was serious. She then looked at Ben and saw a small grin on his lips as well. "So then do I need to find-"

"No, you don't need to leave the garage. We've been getting a lot of work here recently and I know you're having trouble keeping up. So am I," he admitted. "So I've decided to hire Ben to help us out."

It made sense, she supposed. She was putting in long hours, but it helped her focus on things other than her nightmares and her constantly going back to her past. She needed the distraction. But she supposed that Luke was falling behind and needed help. She sighed and nodded quietly. He clapped his hands again with a big grin. "Good! Now, come inside and wash up. Lunch will be ready soon," he said as he turned on his heel to retreat into the house, leaving Rey and Ben alone again.

She awkwardly looked up at him, seeing him grin slightly. "Look forward to working with you, Rey," he said, a bit of amusement in his voice.

She glared at him. "Stay out of my way," she hissed, turning on her heel to go into the house, followed by Ben, who maintained his distance with a chuckle.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Lunch was uneventful. Luke kept trying to push the two together to get to know each other, from sending them on parts runs to helping each other rearrange the garage. Rey was getting rather fed up with Ben and his towering appearance. She felt so small next to him and she felt intimidated, too, which was not helping her current mental status. They'd bumped into each other a few times and she hissed her complaint at him. He bit back and instantly regretted it as they fell into a heated, awkward silence. Luke had disappeared, apparently taking over the records again as the two were left to deal with clients in the garage. She'd discovered that she was the one that needed to handle to clients first coming in and let Ben handle the other stuff. He lacked customer service. In a bad kind of sort of way.

He let her take the lead though. He didn't mind it so much. He didn't like dealing with people. They always came in with such vague descriptions of what their cars were doing. His favorite was "I'm not sure what's wrong with it. It's just making a noise!" He had rolled his eyes at that one. So descriptive. Please, hold back the details. You're over-explaining far too much. He scoffed at that. Some people were too stupid.

But she handled it magnificently. It was only when men came in that she had an issue. When it was women, she was easily going on with her customer service, but when it was a man, she was hard and struggling to maintain composure. It was then that he decided to step in. This went on for a few days. They fell into their routine of comfortableness around each other, but working together... that was a different story.

Currently, they were working on Ford F150 Raptor. There was some sort of issue with it starting, but it wasn't the starter or the alternator. Rey was thinking that it was a fuse, but Ben was thinking it had something to do with the fuel injectors. Their difference of opinions were always a bad start to fixing things. Ben had been trying to get the injectors off and he had cursed several times, restraining himself from punching the truck. He opted to work in a black tank and black cargo pants while Rey was working in a white tank and grey capri cargos. Total opposite ends of the spectrum, they noticed. When she heard him cursing again and clanking around under there, she sighed and rolled her eyes. "If you keep losing your temper, you'll destroy their truck and no one will come back here!" she hissed at him.

"The stupid thing is stuck!" he hissed as he was tugging at something under the hood.

Rey sighed and walked over to him. "Let me," she said as she walked up beside him. Being shorter than him, she had to crawl onto the bumper and lean into the hood. She looked around for what was stuck and she reached her hand backwards. "Give me the wrench." He did and she worked at undoing a bolt. After that, it popped right off. When she was done, she hopped down and handed the wrench back to him. He looked away begrudgingly and muttered a small "Thanks" under his breath as she hopped off to go to work on a Volkswagen Beetle. Stupid things were always having electrical problems.

He was supposed to have gone back to work, but if he had to be honest, he kept stealing glances her way. This woman was amazing. She knew her way around cars. She knew how to calm him down. Even if she didn't try to, she managed to calm him down from his fury at this stupid machine. He went back to work quietly, calmly, no longer slamming things around as he had before. He saw that she was still mildly uncomfortable around him, which was to be expected. "Rey," he called.

"What?"

"What do you say to a friendly wager?" he called with a small smirk.

Rey peeked out of the front seat of the Beetle and eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of wager?"

Ben grinned. He had her. "Last to finish buys the winner coffee."

Rey studied him for a moment before a small grin appeared on her own face. "Sure. It's a bet."

With that, Ben went to work at fixing his F150 and Rey fixing her bug. He crawled out from under the hood and went to start it up, but Rey beat him to it. Her bug was fixed. And though his started without any issues, he had lost. He frowned at that, but in all actuality, he expected it. She made quick work, and he knew it. "Looks like I win, Solo," she said as she wiped the grease off of her hands with a confident grin.

Ben snickered at that. "Looks like you do. So. Let's talk coffee."

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

They rode to the coffee shop downtown for lunch in his GTR, Rey sitting huddled against the passenger door as she kept her eyes far away from his side of the car. She had admired the car from the outside, but loved the inside even more. Leather black seats. Black and silver dashboard. Kicking sound system. Comfortable seats. Rey was in heaven. She loved this car. But she wouldn't say that to him. It would boost his ego far too much. She heard her song came on the radio and quietly started to sing along to it, Ben not failing to notice as his lips twitched ever so slightly in a small content smile.

They pulled into the coffee shop, but Ben didn't cut the car yet. He wanted the song to stop before he did. Rey didn't fail to notice as she smiled at him at the end of the song. He cut the car then and the two got out in silence, walking to the coffee shop comfortably. He was a few paces behind her, respecting her proximity issues as he usually tried to do since offending her that one time.

They entered into the coffee shop in silence and Rey sighed in contentment as the smells of different coffees hit her nose. She closed her eyes and took in the warm atmosphere, the soft music playing in the background and the gentle chatter of the people enjoying the small shop. She loved it here already. Ben stayed silent as he walked with her to the line, looking at the menu in silence. "What would you like?" he asked, not looking at her, for fear of studying her again.

Rey thought about it for a moment. She was going to mix it up a little. "Maybe a Mocha Peppermint Latte," she said as she didn't mind how he stepped a step closer than his usual distance. She assumed it was because he needed to hear her over the crowd. She found herself not minding it. She kept her hands tucked into her pockets as she looked up at the menu, even though she had already determined what she wanted.

"Sounds good," he said thoughtfully. She risked a glance up at him then. She didn't realize how strong his jawline was until now. His masculine features were hard to miss. His face was shaped in an odd way, but it fit him. She wondered if he really was a gentle giant. She quickly smacked that thought away, finding it way too dangerous to think of him that way. Red flags, Rey. He had red flags. Too many to consider yourself comfortable with. She kept looking at him anyway. And then his face moved. Their eyes met. And she realized there was a pink high on his cheekbones. He knew she was staring. "The line," he said with a clearing of his throat.

Rey snapped from her thoughts and blushed as she walked forward, having seen that two people were already through the line. They put in their orders, Ben paying for it as promised, and found a table where they sat comfortably across from each other. When their orders were ready, Ben went to get it, despite Rey's protesting. He came back with two coffees, setting hers in front of her so she wouldn't feel awkward enough to have to reach for it and touch him accidentally. He sat back down and looked around the little shop. "Thank you," she said as she grabbed her coffee and sipped it, keeping her eyes off of him.

"A bet is a bet. You won, fair and square. I'm a man of my word," he chuckled as he sipped his own coffee, the warm liquid refreshing to the crisp air they'd come in from. They had been wearing their tanks in the garage because Luke kept it really warm there, but when they went out, they realized just how cold it was. They both had to throw on jackets!

Rey smiled briefly at him, taking to silence again. She hated how she was so awkward, but she didn't know how to fix it. "Didn't think men were any good at that," she said under her breath.

But he heard her. "Your past, I'm assuming?" It was a question, but it sounded as if he'd already known. Rey nodded quietly, slightly embarrassed he'd heard her, but thankful he didn't pry. "It must be difficult to trust people." He wasn't prying, but rather feeling her out.

Rey's eyes hardened at him then. "What would you know about that?"

Ben struggled to keep his composure at the attack. He stamped down his rising anger before sighing roughly. "You're not the only one that has had difficulties in your past, Rey," he bit out.


	4. Brawl

**A/N: Ok. So there's a fight coming up soon. Warning: PTSD and triggers. Without further ado, here's the story! R&R**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 4: Brawl_

* * *

"Oh, I'm sure I'm not, Solo. But please, while we're on the subject, enlighten me on how you think you know so much about my situation," she said angrily, eyes hard and venomous.

Ben glared at her then as he stood, her rising with him, refusing to back down. They walked out of the coffee shop and back into the car where this conversation would continue. "Not here," he hissed as he started the car and raced off to a field. There was a lone bench there that he had planned on sitting at with her to properly talk about this.

"Ben Solo, you're not answering me!" she hissed at him, emotions flaring as she was forced to relive all of this for the second time since meeting him.

He rounded on her then, halfway to the bench and glared daggers at her. "You think you're so special?" he hissed back at her. She stopped then, not retreating, but not advancing either. "You think you're the only one that has issues with people?!" he growled at her, his anger close to boiling over. Part of him just wanted to let it all out, but the other part of him wanted to suppress it because he didn't want to damage her further.

"I said I'm not! But you don't need to act like you know me!"

He started pacing then, eying her like some sort of prey as he struggled to get control over himself. It really wasn't anything he should have gotten so angry about. It was nothing. It was trivial. She was right, he had gone too far. He had acted as if he knew her, but he really didn't. But here they were. Ben was pissed and Rey was equally mad. "You're right!" He glared at her hard. "I don't know you. But I'm sure not going to walk on eggshells around the damaged little princess!"

Rey glared at him then, fist swinging in the air straight toward his face. He dodged it and controlled himself not to swing back. She was a girl. He didn't want to hit a girl. Although she was coming at him like a man, he didn't want to be that person. He stayed on the defensive as she swung one punch right after the other, each missing and only hitting the air. "You don't know anything!" she cried as her anger spilled out of her fists as she continued to advance. She landed a punch to his right jaw and he stumbled back a little, eyes full of fury, but held a certain restraint. "You'll never know the pain I suffered, what I went through, who I had to deal with! You'll never know any of it! So don't act like you know me, Solo." Her chest heaved, struggling to catch her breath as she went back on the offensive again, still not satisfied with her anger boiling out.

He stayed on the defensive, getting to the point where he was starting to spin out of her line of punching and pushing her wrists to the side to avoid her blows. It started to turn into a game for him, an arrogant smirk on his lips as they went about their little brawl. He never swung at her though. He refused to do so. It was actually quite comical, really. She was swinging as hard and as fast as she could, Ben narrowly dodging her fists of fury, all the while trying to contain himself. If it were any man, he would have swung back and had them on the ground. But this was definitely different for him. It was a game of cat and mouse for him. She swung, he blocked. She swung, he spun away. Their brawl quickly turned, for him, into a little banter of fists.

She grew more frustrated the more his grin grew. "Stop smiling like that!" she hissed, aiming a quick punch to his chest, sending some air out of his lungs as she followed up with an uppercut, only to be caught by his hand. He held her wrist and loomed dangerously close to her.

"Enough," he seethed.

Rey's eyes widened in fear when she realized she had been caught. She struggled against him for a moment before using her foot to kick bitterly at his shin. He stood his ground though and clenched his teeth. He did slightly let up on her wrist, realizing he was probably holding her too tight. He then opted to twine their fingers together, so his hold on her wasn't so menacing. "I'm not going to hurt you, Rey," he said softly.

Rey's breathing picked up as she stayed glued in spot, her chest rising and falling desperately. She shut her eyes tightly, memories flooding back at her in a rush as if someone hit her with a brick.

"_Rey! Why are you running?" came the tantalizing voice from behind her. "I just want to have fun with you!"_

_She kept running. With all she had in her, she ran and ran and ran some more. There was no way to escape him. If he caught her... _

"Rey," called Ben's gentle voice as he brought a hesitant hand to her shoulder. "Rey, look at me. It's Ben," he said gently, giving her shoulder a gentle shake. "Rey."

Rey's eyes shot open as she realized that she was back in the present. Tears were flooding down her cheeks. She tried to stop herself, but before she could, Ben had gently taken her into his arms, her head falling onto his chest where his heart beat a million miles a second. "Rey, you're safe. You're ok," he whispered as he gently stroked her hair. She crumpled into him as she cried into his chest. He held her against him and shushed her softly, petting her hair and holding her as she cried her heart out on him. "Let it out, Rey," he whispered into her hair.

She started to slip down and he followed her as they knelt in the grass. He was afraid to let her go as she cried and clung to him desperately. "It won't stop," she cried into his chest.

Ben's brows furrowed, feeling her pain. "I know," he whispered. "It's ok. I'm here, Rey." His voice was so soft, so compassionate. She hated herself for showing her weakness with him. She barely knew him. And she was having a meltdown in front of him. Although it had been a long time coming, she had to admit. That's probably why she was so angry here recently. She clung tighter to him as another wave of pain washed over her. Each inhale brought his smell. Cinnamon.. sweet... comfort. She found herself leaning closer into his chest, grabbing a fistful of his black sweater as if her life depended on it. He gently shushed her, his large hand on the back of her head, gently holding her close to him. They'd gotten into a sitting position with her curled into his lap, shame not even registering in her mind at the moment.

"I-..." She couldn't bring herself to talk to him about it.

"It's ok. Take your time," he whispered to her, his deep voice rumbling in his chest as he held her.

A few more moments of silence passed between them before Rey started to calm down enough to trust herself to speak. "I hate being so weak..." she admitted in a whispered huff of agony. She pushed back more tears that threatened to overtake her as she pushed on, staying with her ear against his chest, the sound of his heart beat calming her in a weird way. "When I was little..." she whispered, regaining herself before she could lose it again. "I was put in a foster home." Ben gently rubbed her back, trying his best to soothe her. He was new to this comfort thing. He hadn't ever wanted it, nor had he ever given it before, so this was a whole new zone for him to be entering into right now. He only hoped he wasn't overstepping, but by the way she relaxed into him, he could tell that maybe he was doing something right after all. "My parents died overseas and the foster system took me and put me with a man. He used me to work for him at his junkyard and I knew he was thinking about _lending_ me out to his friends that came by... So I ran away before that could happen."

Ben froze then. He knew what she meant by that term. His eyes narrowed, silently trying to control his rage that was building within himself. She must have heard his heart rate pick up because she gently rubbed his chest with the hand that had been fisting his sweater. It brought him back to calm and she stilled her hand, keeping her cheek against him. "That's where I met another nightmare," she whispered. He waited patiently as she discovered her words and knew it was very hard for her. "Jessen," she spat the name. "We found each other when we were on the streets, both runaways from the foster system, both looking for something better. Things were great for a while," she recalled emotionlessly, as if all her tears had dried up and she had no cares left. Ben knew better. It was a state of protection for her. She retreated into herself so she wouldn't be harmed more later. He'd done it his fair share of times. "He started drinking and doing drugs... And he wasn't the same." She shrunk against him then, his arms instinctively tightening a fraction around her to try to offer her at least a little comfort and safety.

"He became abusive, too..." she whispered, her hand gingerly touching her face, her lip where her scar was. "He'd hit me plenty and I tried to defend myself, but he was just..." She couldn't bring herself to finish.

"Too strong," he breathed into her hair, his brows furrowed as he felt her pain wash over him in a torrent of anguish. He just wanted to take it all on him. He wanted to clear her of if. She was too bright and strong to be made to deal with this. It all clicked. She'd been abused far worse than anyone had ever given her credit for. And it was by everyone she trusted. Her foster parent, her boyfriend... God knows who else. He felt his own eyes water as he felt her pain within himself. It wasn't fair. Such a beautiful woman had to go through something so terribly traumatic. Every day was a fight for her. Every breath a struggle. Every step a mile. He felt her nod against him, acknowledging his words. "How did you get away?" he whispered to her.

Rey steadied herself. "After his last attempt, I ran away from him and started living on my own. It was a few weeks before Luke and Leia found me..." She felt a small sad smile curve her lips then. "Luke took me in at his place. Leia got me into therapy. Together, they helped me work past it. I had someone to trust after all my life of having no one. Luke worked hard. He figured out what my issues were and maintained his distance at first. He's still really skittish around me," she said with apparent mirth in her voice. "They helped me out so much," she cried as she clung to him again. "I had a family."

Ben remained silent. Leia. He frowned. That's where she was. He brushed that thought away, focusing his attention on the woman in his arms. "You're safe now," he promised. "No one will hurt you again." He gently kissed the top of her head and felt her stiffen in his arms. He realized what he'd done. "Sorry-"

"Don't." She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight to him. He did the same, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "Thank you, Ben," she whispered, her eyes closing in contentment. "Thank you for listening and being here."

Ben smiled into her hair. "Anytime, Rey."

A comfortable silence fell between them then. For a little while. Until Rey's curiosity peaked again. "Ben?" He hummed in response. "You said you have issues with people..." she whispered cautiously, afraid to make him upset. He sensed this and let himself relax, tamping down his fear of this subject. He acknowledged her statement. He had said that. It encouraged her to go on. "What... what happened?" she asked softly as she tilted her head to risk a glance up at him.


	5. Bond

**A/N: Well! This is turning out rather cute! Sorry if anything in the last chapter offended or hurt others. As a victim of abuse myself, it's difficult to write about it, explaining it in a way that others can understand. Basically, you're always on edge when something triggers you and it takes a lot to calm you down when you're set off. It's like one memory after another floods in at the same time and it leaves you incredibly vulnerable to where you do or say things that you wouldn't normally. It takes a very patient person to deal with you when you're like that (at least for me) and it helps to have a support network. Oh, and cuddling helps ;) Anyway... enjoy another chapter! Ben's turn to share! R&R!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 5: Bond_

* * *

Ben looked down at her hesitantly. She had opened up to him, so why couldn't he open up to her? It was only fair, right? But he had an issue expressing himself. In a major way. He would get angry and that wasn't something that she needed right now. She needed him to be calm and rational. Sweet and loving. Caring. Compassionate. She needed someone that wasn't him. His face gave away his emotions, he supposed, because her hand delicately held his face, smoothing away the worry lines from his mind. He gently held her hand as he let out a sigh. "You mentioned Leia..." he started. "She's... my mother."

Rey's eyes widened. Seriously!? Leia was his mom?! "So then... Luke is-"

"My uncle. As I said before, I thought..." Maybe not. She resumed her silence as he let out another sigh, the anger starting to rise in him again. She leaned her head back on his chest, cuddling against him, finding this man she barely knew to be oddly comfortable. "Anyway... Leia and Han had always been too busy for me. When I was younger, they had time for me, but as I got older, I felt them becoming increasingly distant. It seemed that no matter what I did, neither of them would acknowledge me anymore. I heard of my mother speak of a girl. How worried she was for her. How she had been through a lot." He hesitantly looked down at Rey when she stiffened in his arms. "It's ok," he whispered to her, her eyes full of apology and pity. He knew what she was thinking. That she had taken away his mom. He shook his head and gave her a soft squeeze, arms falling around her waist again. "I ran away then. I mean, I was old enough to be on my own anyway. I don't even know why I was trying to hold onto a life that I didn't want," he said, a bitter laugh breaking through.

After a few moments, he continued on. "From there, I ran into some people and I started a gang with them. We were undefeated. Everyone knew us. Who we were. What we did. How far we would go to prove that we were the dominant ones." His eyes took on a dark hue to them now. "But that wasn't who I wanted to be. I just wanted... a home. I wanted someone to care." Rey's eyes spilled tears onto his shirt as she grasped at his shirt again, holding him tight. They were so alike, just as Luke said. "The gang was doing nothing for me. So I left. But not without getting beaten in the process," he said with a dark snicker.

Rey looked up at him then. Their faces were close enough, she realized, that she could feel his breath on her face. She studied his face, looking for scars like hers. She found a few. One on his cheekbone. One on his lip. Eyebrow. He felt uncomfortable under her gaze so he turned his head away, revealing another just below his jaw under his ear. She frowned to herself. They'd tried to kill him. "I got involved with another guy that twisted me even further. I hated my family. He saw the anger in me and he exploited it. He got me into fighting. I did little underground shows for him and brought in a lot of money for him, but after I almost died drinking myself into oblivion, I quit. Walked away from it all. Didn't have anything to do about it either. And... that's where I came to Luke's..." he finished lamely. "I just wanted to get out of there. I wanted to just try to regain some semblance of myself before it was too late..."

"It's never too late, Ben," she whispered, his face turning quickly to stare at her. She offered a small soft smile. "It's not too late to change. It's not too late to start over. It never is."

Ben frowned. "You don't know that. Look at me. I get angry over everything. I'm like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I could hurt-"

Rey smiled warmly at him, her hand finding his face as her thumb brushed over his scar on his cheekbone. "If you were going to hurt anyone... you would have when I was swinging at you." Ben's eyes widened at that. She was right. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He could have taken her down, but he didn't want to. He resisted. He restrained himself. Did that mean that he wasn't totally hopeless? Was she telling him that she believed in him? As if on cue, she continued. "There's good in you, Ben. I know it."

Ben offered a small hesitant smile. She smiled in return before sinking into his arms as he held her close. He bit back the tears that this woman was bound and determined to make him cry and chuckled softly. "We're a mess."

Rey smiled a little. "What broke your trust of people?"

Ben sighed a little then. "I... It started with my mother. She kept secrets about my father. He wasn't dead; he ran away. If my own mother was going to lie to me, who else would?" he asked, a bit ashamed at sounding like a total wimp. Rey nodded against his chest. She understood. "The gang was built on loyalty to each other, supposedly... But what made me leave was one of them lied and put all of us at risk. We got ambushed by a rival gang and... some friends died." Rey shuddered then. "I knew then I wanted out."

"With good reason."

"I've felt abandoned at a very young age..." he said softly, sounding more like a scared little boy than he wanted. He felt Rey's hand rub his chest softly, something she knew calmed him down as he felt himself level out again. "Even now... I don't want to be close to anyone... Especially not my family." Rey paused for a moment, her body rigid in his hold. He gently rubbed her back, attempting to soothe her the way she soothed him. When she relaxed, he continued. "It's strange..."

Rey looked up at him then. "What is?"

He looked down at her with a small smile. "I feel more comfortable around you than anyone I've ever known. And I've only known you for a few days," he said with a small laugh at the utter ridiculousness of it all.

Rey felt her cheeks redden. He was able to voice what she couldn't. She shrank into his chest again before quietly saying, "Me too."

Ben felt his own cheeks redden as she agreed, but he just held her close for a few moments longer. He felt her shiver then, the temperature dropping as it neared evening time. "Are you hungry?" he asked gently. Rey nodded a little. "Let's get something to eat." She nodded, but made no move to get up. After a few moments, he smiled and just held her, content that she wasn't wanting to get up yet.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

They finally decided to get up off the cold ground. Neither of them were able to meet each other's gaze, but they held hands on the way to Ben's car. He walked her to her side and opened the door for her and she slipped inside, Ben closing the door for her quietly. He took a moment to walk over to his side, seating himself and getting comfortable before starting to drive to a restaurant. Her hand found his as he drove, finding comfort in it as much as he did. They remained quiet in each other's company, finding it oddly satisfying. They didn't feel the need to say anything at all, and that was ok. They did exchange shy smiles every once in a while though.

They pulled into a restaurant and Ben got out, walking over to Rey's side to help her out, offering his hand. She took it with a small smile and they walked inside together. They glanced at the menu quietly, stealing little glances at each other every so often. Finally, Ben just started chuckling. Rey looked at him for a moment and joined after a second. It was so silly how they were acting with each other. She wanted him to leave her alone at first, and they'd bit at each other, fought (well, she attacked him), talked it out and now... here they were. Comfortable in each other's company. It was hilarious at how quickly they'd formed a bond. Ben was the first to stop laughing, a small smile on his lips. Rey's own laughter died down shortly after, a delicate smile on her lips as well. As if synced in some weird way, they reached for the other's hand at the same time, finding their target in the middle of the table. After sharing a grin, they placed the order with the waitress that had shown up a second ago and went back to enjoying each other's company.

Rey's eyes glanced down at their hands, observing how large his were compared to hers. They were strangely soft, too. It occurred to her then... Her wrist wasn't burning anymore. "Is this ok?" he asked, seeing her staring intently at their joined hands.

Rey snapped to and her cheeks flushed. "Yes, fine," she said quickly. She glanced at him and saw him considering her again, as if he were searching for the reason for her face. She sighed and averted her glance. "When you first grabbed me," she started, her other hand going to her wrist, the one he was holding the hand to. "It burned for a few days," she admitted. Ben's face grew dark then. He was going down the rabbit hole again. "Not like that," she said quickly, squeezing his hand to break him out of it. His eyes found hers, searching for an explanation. "I mean... Before you grabbed me, not even Luke had touched me much. And even then, I consider him family, so it didn't count. But you... At first, it upset me. But... my nightmares had happy endings afterwards," she said, blushing madly, unable to make her eyes meet his.

Ben's own cheeks were red in color as she admitted that to him. He looked down at her hand in his, watching it carefully, as if it would suddenly disappear and he'd wake up to another dream. "I've... had nightmares, too... But you've made them better," he said carefully.

There was a brief moment of silence between the two of them and then they both, in unison, started laughing, a genuine laugh of amusement and... something unreadable. The table they were sitting at had a single candle on it and they sat catty-corner to each other. If they wanted to, they could lean across the table and-

Their eyes met. Ben hesitantly leaned towards her, Rey following suit. Before they could get too close, the waitress interrupted, making Rey jump and scurry back to her own chair, a small smile on her lips as food was placed in front of her. Ben kept looking at Rey, his mind reeling at what could have happened if the waitress had waited another few moments. He looked down at his own food as Rey started to gingerly pick at her food, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. He smiled at her. Things just got interesting.


	6. Breathe

**A/N: So this story is quickly becoming closer and closer to me as it goes on. It has a personal ring to it for me 3 For all those out there that have been through abuse of some nature, or are currently going through it, don't give up. There can be a happy ending with a little effort. Might not seem like it, but trust me. Things will work out in the end. As for the review, thank you, Dream Plane! I appreciate the comment. Enjoy the next installment! R&R!**

**WARNING: Attempted rape in this chapter! If it's a trigger, please skip ahead. I'll put a ** before the start of it and a ** at the end of it so you can skip it. You won't be missing anything if you skip. Just adds depth to the situation.**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 6: Breathe_

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Their dinner had been nice. Quite a difference from the harshness they'd shared with each other earlier that day. Their closeness had become natural, second nature, welcomed. Rey still was fighting for some semblance of normalcy though. A part of her was still screaming at herself that this was far too close for her liking. She had stayed away from men for a reason. Maybe it was her naivety, but maybe she was hoping it wouldn't have to go too far. She knew that he was a man and that he had... needs... but she blocked that from her mind, just content to be holding his hand. And they weren't official or anything. They hadn't kissed (but they almost did!). She silenced that part of her mind. There was no way he would want anything to do with her. She was broken. She was no use to anyone. She had too many triggers, too many caveats. No one in their right mind would want to be with that. Everyone nowadays were wanting those that weren't, for lack of a better phrasing, messed up beyond repair.

But was she? Was she really beyond repair? Her eyes glanced up at Ben as they walked the neighborhood, just them and the stars as their witness. They'd fallen into a quick habit of holding the other's hand as they walked, a strange sense of comfort washing over them in the other's company. It was nice. Was this normal? Was this what it was supposed to feel like when you're accepted, baggage and all? She tore her eyes away from him, focusing on the quiet sounds of their footsteps down the dark street, only lit by the street lights. She didn't know what she was getting into. Was she already in too deep? What was this strange warmth welling in her chest whenever she was with him? It puzzled her. It scared her. It excited her. All of it was just so... foreign. She'd never felt this way. Never felt so safe. So secure. So... normal.

"Do you still want to walk?" Ben's voice broke through her self-analysis, a gentle prodding, not a forceful shove from her thoughts. It was nice. He wan't intrusive as she thought he would be with his large frame. He was actually very... delicate with her. Not that he was babying her or anything, but that he respected her situation and wanted to get her comfortable. With him.

Rey thought about his question for a moment and nodded. "I like this," she said softly. She risked a glance at him out of the corner of her eye and saw a sweet smile on his lips. He looked goofy, but so amazing at the same time. She gave a small sweet smile of her own and they continued walking on in silence. They focused on their footsteps, silence falling over them more comfortably as they passed by Luke's house again. Who knew how long they'd been walking? It could have been hours... minutes... She'd long forgotten how many rounds they'd made around the neighborhood.

Ben glanced down at her and felt a nagging feeling in his chest. Like maybe they should stop walking for the night. But she said she wanted to, and who was he to deny her? Still, he was on high alert. Luke didn't live in the worst neighborhood, by far, but there were still terrible people lurking about anyway, no matter what neighborhood you lived in. Ben was more than aware of that. He'd lived in a good home and there were gangs around his house as a kid. He was part of a gang and they specifically targeted defenseless neighborhoods. He knew the other side of the abuse. Well, really, he knew both sides. He knew what it was like to be used. He knew what it was like to use others. To be abused. To abuse. He knew both sides. Darkness started to cloud his vision as he went down his rabbit hole of misery again.

Her thumb gently rubbing his held hand brought him back out of it again. He realized that he was doing it again and his upper cheekbones became tinged with a slight pink. Thankfully, it was dark and she wouldn't be able to see, even with the yellow street lights. He hadn't meant to go off into the darkness again. It happens. And she understood him. She knew what it was like. He reassuringly squeezed her hand, trying his best to let her know he was ok now. It worked, he noticed, as she visibly relaxed next to him. He looked ahead and noticed that a street light had gone out up ahead. "Stay close," he said softly, but firmly. She nodded next to him, her body getting closer to her as she used her other arm and wrapped it around his, not once breaking hand contact with their held hands. He liked this. How she clung to him, how she was so fearless on the outside, but deep down, she was just as much scared as he'd expect her to be.

They approached the darkness up ahead, his senses kicking into overdrive.

But it wasn't enough.

As soon as they were in the darkness, before he could stop it, something came over the back of his head, hard, forcing him to the ground as his consciousness ebbed away.

******** (please skip to the next set of asterisks if this is a trigger... read A/N)**

Rey gasped as she felt Ben be wrenched from her grasp, her own body falling with him next to his unconscious form. "Ben?" she gasped, lightly shaking him. "Ben?" she called again, panic rising in her voice. "Ben, wake up!" she called, desperation now becoming the only emotion as she looked around them. All she could see was the dark. Her sight wasn't adjusted to the darkness around her.

"Well, well... What do we have here, boys?" called a deep, nasty voice from behind her, making Rey freeze, eyes wide and breath freezing in her chest. She hesitantly turned on her knees, looking over her shoulder at the shadows approaching. Four of them. One clearly their leader from the arrogant smirk on his mangled face. She could tell they were some sort of gang. She wasn't even aware there was a gang in this neighborhood. Where did they come from!? Her breathing picked up exponentially as she fought against the surfacing memories in her head. "Oooh, she's a pretty one," the leader said as he stopped in front of her. He knelt down to get a better look at her face and Rey's instincts kicked in. She shoved the palm of her hand into his nose in an upward motion with all her strength as she got to her feet and attempted to run away.

She didn't make it very far. One of the boys with the leader grabbed her arm, wrenching her back into his chest, eliciting a cry from Rey as the leader was grunting and groaning in pain. She felt his anger rising. It was palpable. She'd be pissed, too, if someone rammed her nose into her head. "She's a feisty one, Karl," the man who was holding her said. Rey struggled against him, her foot finding his instep and giving her just enough leverage as he grunted and bent a little to elbow his stomach. She wrenched herself away from the man's grasp and attempted to run again, but again, she was thwarted. She fell to the ground this time, face scratching against the asphalt, butt in the air as a man sat on her back, hand tangled in her hair and pushing her face harder into the ground. She let out silent tears as she felt she was losing herself to the dark memories that were now spilling over her carefully concealed barriers.

"Stop!" she cried as she struggled against the man on her back. Her eyes landed on the man she'd palmed in the face, glowering down at her.

"This is going to be a fun night, boys," he said as he leaned down and snatched her up by her hair, the other man promptly getting off of her in the process. When she was level with him, her arms going up to hold onto her hair, feeling her hair would come out if she didn't try to alleviate some of the pain. "You've got a lot of spunk, girly. It'll be fun to dominate you," he said as he reached a hand forward and roughly grabbed her breast through her shirt. She cried in pain, her whole body crumbling under the painful motion. There was no pleasure. There was only pain. "Not quite a handful... but it's good enough for now," he said as he leaned in and bit her neck, his teeth, she swore, puncturing her skin. She cried in pain again, her hands going to his chest, using what meager strength she had to try to push him away. She continued to struggle against him, feeling his hand snatching at her clothes. He ripped her shirt all the way down, revealing her white lacy bra underneath. She gasped as the frigid night air hit her heated skin. Fear rose in her. She knew this was it. She knew that she was a goner. Ben was knocked out. She was too weak. She just wanted to die.

Not again.

Please, not again.

She felt the man's hand sliding down to her pants, ducking under the waistband of her pants and groping her in ways that made her want to vomit. "Stop!" she hissed as she squirmed and kicked at the man, trying her hardest to fight him off the best she could. Memories of her ex flooded into her mind. The overwhelming strength he had in that moment. The lack of effort it took for him to overpower her so quickly. The slap. And as if on cue, the man landed a slap to her face, sending her flying to the ground, dizziness the only thing in her mind as she felt her body being moved, but not able to get her senses back. Her world was spinning. Her chest burned with the lack of air, her breathing long ceased from the pain and fear.

She heard laughter from above her as she felt more of her clothes being torn and thrown aside. Her eyes fluttered closed, unable to keep up with her body's fatigue. This was it. Another person abusing and using her. She wasn't worth anything else to anyone. Except for this. A punching bag. Something to be discarded after a good time. Tears flowed from her eyes as her consciousness gave out, the last word on her lips was "Ben."

******* (end of trigger. Now for the happy ending!)**

A grunt came from behind the leader, his attention torn away from the girl that had given up under him. He saw a dark haired man, the one that they'd smacked with the bat, beating his men to a pulp, sending them flying to the ground with just one punch. He was pissed. The leader's eyes widened as he stood and attempted to run away, but Ben quickly grabbed the man by the shirt, pulling him back to him and spinning him around to glare hard at him. "For your sake, you better not have done what you intended," he hissed dangerously at the man.

"I-I didn't! I swear!"

Ben glanced down at Rey's crumpled form then. His eyes instantly shot back up at the man, anger renewed as he pulled back and punched him as hard as he could, sending the man flying to the ground in a heap of blood and probably a broken bone or two.

Or several.

Anger ran wild in his eyes as he growled at the men. He had sworn to protect her. He'd sworn to be there for her. The searing pain in his head was only getting worse as he looked down at Rey's undignified form. He tore his eyes away from her displayed body before removing his coat and covering her with it, wrapping her almost naked body in it and lifting her gently off of the ground. He whipped out his cell and called the 911, gently holding Rey against him as he sat on a bench in the light again. He gently rocked her against him, his hand on the back of her head as he kept whispering desperate, sincere "I'm so sorry, Rey"s into her hair. He held her tight against him, not caring that his blood was falling down his face then. The jacket was falling as she squirmed a little in his arms, curling closer to him and clutching to him tightly. She let out a whimper as she started to thrash then, fighting him with all she had. "Rey! Rey, stop!" he shushed as he gently restrained her, pulling her closer to him. "It's Ben. I got you, Rey. Come on, sweetheart, open your eyes," he whispered as he gently kissed her forehead.

Her eyes flew open as she started to gasp for air, panting uncontrollably, dang near hyperventilating. Her eyes searched her surroundings frantically. He remained silent the whole time, letting her assess her situation on her own. He knew that if he were to say something, it would scare her. He didn't want to do that, so he stayed perfectly still like a statue. Her eyes landed on him, full of fear, panic and desperation. Her eyes were wide and sweat was beading on her forehead. She started to struggle against him then, flailing as she tried to get away. "Rey," he called softly, gently avoiding her punches and slaps. "Rey, you're safe. Look at me," he coaxed softly, a gentle hand on her wrist.

She gasped, chest still all of a sudden. He had a habit of grabbing that wrist, he realized. Her breathing calmed a little as she looked up at Ben again. "B-Ben," she whispered, questioning if he was really there. "Ben-" She reached forward and threw her arms around him, crying loudly in his neck, her small frame racking with violent tremors and jerks. Her whole body was on fire. Her mind even more fired up. Tears fell in rivers, quickly soaking the fabric of his sweater. He held her tight, gently shushing her and placing gentle, comforting kisses to her temple. He gently rubbed her back, careful not to do anything that could be misinterpreted and send her into another fit.

It was a few moments of them staying like that before she heard ambulance and police sirens. She gripped him tighter, her whole body completely rigid and stiff as stiff can be. "It's ok, Rey. I called them. It'll be ok," he whispered affectionately to her as he gently pet her hair.

She pulled away from him then, eyes full of desperation and unmitigated fear. "Don't leave," she begged, her hands fisting his sweater. "Ben, don't leave me!" Every word broke his heart.

He put his hands over hers on his sweater. "I won't. Rey, I'm here," his voice was gentle, pointed, slow... compassionate.

This seemed to calm her down only a bit as she rested her face in his neck.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

It was several moments later that she was assessed and she had refused to go to the hospital, having a morbid fear of them apparently. Ben had tried to convince her to go, but quickly let it go when he saw the fear. He held up his hands in resignation. He had asked her to at least let him help her dress her injuries when they got back to Luke's and she had hesitantly agreed. The police had taken a statement from the two of them and hauled the idiots off to jail after addressing that Ben should really watch his temper. Ben had explained his reputation for fighting and the policeman just nodded his understanding, his face giving him a silent "good job" for protecting the girl. He told them to hurry home, the car following them to make sure they stayed out of trouble, even after Ben had insisted they were only going a couple of houses down. Rey was grateful for the protection though. He saw it as she was trembling any time they went through a dark spot.

His heart ached for her. They had made it pretty far in this... whatever this was. He had helped her through some things, and she him. Now she was thrown back behind square one. He wanted to grab her hand and hold it as he had before, but he knew that if he did that, it would set her off again. So, instead, he just stole glances at her, studying her to make sure she didn't go down her own rabbit hole of misery. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, holding Ben's jacket close to her to shield any inch of her skin she could. He was fairly positive that if she had the opportunity, she would pull it over her head and walk that way, but she wouldn't be able to see and that would have been a problem. Still, the little Rey of sunshine that he had come to grown attached to was starting to darken again. He hated seeing her this way. She was even worse than when they met. She had receded back into herself. She wasn't talking. She wasn't looking at him. She wasn't holding his hand or reaching for him. Any sudden noise made her jump. Any patch of darkness hitched her breath. She'd been broken again.

They made it back to Luke's house and he opened the door for her, careful to keep his distance and not touch her. She quickly walked into the house, Ben staying outside for a moment. She stopped halfway in and looked at him then, her eyes pleading him to come in with her. He searched her eyes for what would be better for her and saw the panic growing the longer he was outside. He nodded and moved to follow her inside, gently shutting the door to not startle her. "There you are!" Luke called as he started to walk closer to them. Ben noticed Rey's breathing pick up as she shrank into herself and he crossed the short distance to stand in front of her, arm out defensively to shield her from him. Ben's eyes said it all. _"Stay away for now."_ Luke faltered in his steps and nodded his acknowledgement. He looked behind Ben at Rey and gave her a small fatherly smile. "Why don't you take a shower, Rey?" he said gently. The broken girl hesitantly nodded, looking up at Ben silently.

"I'll still be here," he promised, knowing that was what she wanted. She gave him a small, short-lived smile before retreating upstairs as quickly as she could. His sight followed her upstairs, lingering even though she was out of sight long ago. She needed more time. Not too much though because he knew she would quickly fall into her own rabbit hole and possibly not come out for a long time.

Luke cleared his throat, breaking Ben's thoughts for the time being. "Ben... what happened?"

Ben spent the rest of her shower time explaining what had happened from start to finish.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

The water burned her skin as she sat huddled up in the shower, knees curled tightly to her chest. She kept replaying the night's events. The strong hands on her, groping her and making her hate her life. She whimpered a few times, curling even closer to herself. The water burned her, but she didn't mind. She needed to cleanse. She didn't know how long she'd spent in the shower, but the hot water was starting to wane. She quickly washed, scrubbing her skin as hard as she could, crying out in frustration as the touches wouldn't just leave her. It was as if they were burned into. A permanent imprint. Her ex. Plutt's men. The gang leader and his men. She hated them all. She hated that they were burned into her memory, seared into her consciousness. She had just controlled the nightmares. She had just started to accept the closeness of a man. Of Ben. She had started to like Ben. But now...

Her chest tightened, eyes welling up with the never-ending tears. Would he leave her, too? Would Luke? She cried in pain as she abraded her skin too much, her ministrations slowing as she stood in a cold shower, hair falling over her face as she wrapped her arms around her naked body. Would she ever be good enough for someone to just... not abuse? Was that in her cards at all? Was she doomed to be just a worthless _thing_ for everyone else's amusement? Used and then tossed away like a broken toy? She sank again to her knees, crying all she had in her, her lithe form racked with tremors and shakes as she curled up on the shower floor. She just wanted to die. She didn't want to keep living is this was all life had to offer her. What was the point? She had no family anyway. No one would miss her.

_Ben would_.

A knock came at the door, a gentle one. "Rey?" Her heart swelled, in a good way, when she heard his voice on the other side. "Rey... there's coffee on your table," he said softly, his forehead coming to rest on the door, listening for any signs of life in there. He heard the water shut off, his eyes lifting, as if expecting to see something from the top of the door frame or the ceiling. He heard the door knob turn and he erected himself before he could fall into her, knowing that would just be a major catastrophe in and of itself. She clutched the light blue towel to her form and he saw bruises starting to form on her beautiful pale skin. His cheeks burned red as he averted his glance to give her at least some dignity. He backed away, allowing her to leave her bathroom. "I'll... leave you to get dressed," he said softly as he carefully maneuvered around her so as not to touch her.

Tears fell when he left her room. He was so... kind. She struggled to breathe through the pain and the overwhelming feelings that were crashing over her. She quickly ran to her dresser and got some undergarments on, as well as sweats and a black tee. She glanced over at the coffee on the bedside table and smiled a sad smile. He was so considerate. She didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve a wreck like her either. He deserved so much more. Who was she to take him away from someone far better than her? She had no right to-

A gentle knock sounded at the door to her room. "Rey... are you dressed?" Him again. She couldn't help but let out a small sad huff of laughter, a ghost of a laugh. It was hollow, but it held some sort of amusement to it. How did he always do that? She walked over to the door, threw it open and threw her arms around him, trying to crawl into him the best she could. She'd nearly knocked him over, if he had to be honest, but he quickly regained his footing and glanced back at Luke to see mirth hanging in his eyes and face. A dark blush found its way onto Ben's face as Luke wiggled his eyebrows at him and walked away with a departing wave. Ben turned his attention back to Rey then, the woman in his arms, crying and heaving so much emotions at him. "Breathe, Rey," he whispered as he smoothed her hair back. "Breathe," he gently exhorted.

She gasped for air as she clung desperately to him. She barely noticed that he had lifted her, walking into her room and closing the door behind him. She burned her face into his neck, now having better access from her position as she clung to him like a monkey. His hands were unsure where to be and she couldn't help but choke out a small laugh. Even though it was strangled and seemingly forced, Ben smiled down at her, opting for his arms to go around her waist. He walked them to the recliner in her room and sat them down in it, Rey curled tightly against him, almost in a ball as Ben held her close and kept ushering her to breathe. She did breathe. And when she did, all she could smell was him. The nightmares went away. The trauma disappeared. The burning of her body went away. All of it went away.

Except Ben. He was all in her senses. Smell. Touch. Hearing. Sight. Maybe not taste... yet. Her cheeks burned with that possibility and her body went rigid. "Rey?" he asked, slightly concerned why she tensed all of a sudden. "What is it?" he gently asked.


	7. Beautiful

**A/N: That chapter was a little long lol Hope it didn't get too boring. Enjoy the next one! R&R  
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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 7: Beautiful_

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His words were simple, full of concern and gentleness. But the seared her. She flinched as he had asked her what was wrong. She didn't know what to say to that. She knew, but she didn't understand it herself so she couldn't really explain it to him and hope he understood. She felt unsteady. She felt vulnerable. She hated it, but with him, she didn't mind it so much. She'd just experienced another trauma, so maybe she was on the rebound for something good? She wasn't too sure. But if that was true, what about before the trauma? She'd bonded with him, and he with her, she thought. He said he would protect her, and he did. He took out those guys and saved her just in time to where they couldn't complete the deed. She was still... still ok. He asked her something, right? What is it? Why was she stiffening? She just curled closer to him, afraid to tell him what she was thinking. She didn't trust her own thoughts. Not now. Before, she did, but now... not so much. But how would she explain that to him? What if she looked like an idiot? What if what she thought she was sensing wasn't real? Why was she so hung up on him right now?

Did she have some sort of weird syndrome or something where she falls for her savior? She couldn't remember the name of it right now. There probably wasn't one. That was neither here nor there. She didn't want to be around him at first, but now, she didn't want to be away from him. Even after the trauma, she was quick to rush to his side. Quick to reach out to him. Quick to be with him. She felt dirty. She felt wrong. She was warring within herself. She was glad he kept quiet while she worked herself out. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know what to do. For now, she was content here, curled up in his lap, his large hand gently stroking her back. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire. She couldn't tell if she was just being hypersensitive from the events or if he was sending little trails of fire with each stroke of his hand. It wasn't unpleasant, but it made her uncomfortable with herself. She wanted it. She wanted more, actually.

She shook that thought from her head, her face burning as she kept her face pressed against his neck. She looked at his skin there, wondering if he would allow her to test something, but quickly withdrew that thought. Of course he would mind. She was so not worth it. She couldn't be of any use to him except for a quick play and then he'd leave her like the rest. Alone. Betrayed. Abandoned. Forsaken. She wasn't worth anyone's time or effort or affection. Not even Ben's.

That thought cut her more than it should have. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes again, Rey struggling to keep them in though they had minds of their own. They fell against his neck and he must have felt it because he faltered in his back rubbing to gently turn his head to lean his cheek against hers. "You're safe, Rey," he whispered softly to her, his low voice rumbling in her ears, shaking her to her core. He had such a calming effect on her. She choked back a sob as she clutched at him again, holding him tight against her, hand tangling in his hair and feeling just how soft it was. Ben kissed her temple gently then, making her freeze where she was, her body going rigid again. Her breath caught in her throat, as if she registered that this was the first time it was happening. She then thought back. This wasn't the first time. He'd done this before. So then why was it so different now? He realized what he had done and muttered a soft apology.

She shook her head at him. "Don't be," she whispered as she pulled back a bit to look him in the eyes. "It... felt nice," she said as she gave him a small shy smile. Ben gave her a shy grin in return. He didn't realize he was doing it, honestly. It was his go to for comfort for her. And she didn't seem to mind it before, but now things have changed. "Ben?" Her voice was a hushed whisper, unsure of herself. She claimed his attention, his dark eyes looking into hers. "If... if I asked you to stay still... would you?"

Ben's brows furrowed for a moment, not quite understanding what she was asking. "What-"

"I want to try something," she said quickly, her sight going away from his eyes. She was embarrassed for even asking such a thing of him. Maybe she was being too forward. Maybe she was just on the rebound or something. This was a stupid idea. But she'd wanted to know if what she was feeling was genuine. Or if it was just some weird manifestation of a reaction to the trauma.

"Only if you promise me you won't do something that you'll kick yourself for later." It was a simple enough request. Rey's eyes darted back to him then and she debated it for a moment. Would she kick herself for it later? She quickly leaned forward a planted a soft, delicate, chaste kiss to his cheek. When she pulled back, Ben's eyes were wide, but he didn't move. He silently questioned what he had gotten himself into. "Rey-"

"I think..." She thought about it for a moment. "I think I... may..." Ben hung on her words, forgetting to breathe as she struggled to find her words. Her face was red, eyes unable to meet his. "I think I may l-"

"Stop." Rey looked at him then, slightly discouraged at his interruption. His hand was over his face, cheeks burning red as his skin was flushed from under his sweater, clear up to the tips of his ears. Slightly curious as to why he stopped her confession, he steadied himself, heart beating wildly in his chest. "Think about... what you're saying... before you say it." It was an obvious plea for her to seriously consider it before she said it. This was hard for him. She could tell right then that he felt the same, but he didn't want to get his hopes up if she was just saying it because of some spur of the moment reaction. His hand slid from his face then, revealing his reddened face and his pleading eyes as they met with hers. She searched for a moment, searching within herself and within his eyes for her answer. Did she really...?

She gave him a heartwarming smile then. He understood her. He understood everything. Tears spilled from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck, gently snuggling her cheek against his jaw. "Ben," she whispered, voice quivering with tears. "Thank you so much for being so understanding."

Ben's chest ached as he wrapped his arms around her. He had almost heard her confession. Part of him wanted to hear it, so very badly. But he knew that if did without telling her to think about it, his bridle would not be in place any longer. He wouldn't be able to hold himself back. He would struggle with every inch of himself to not break her comfort zone and her trust. He couldn't take it right now. Oh, but he wanted to. He wanted to hear her say it. It was enough for now to know that she felt the same about him as he did about her. But he wanted to know that she wasn't just saying it because she was scared of what had happened. He wanted her to genuinely feel it. To mean it. Maybe he was expecting a lot from her. He barely knew her after all. It had been, what, a week? There was no denying he had a physical attraction to her, that much was painfully obvious with his awkwardness. But the emotional attachment to her. It was suffocating. He felt the strongest urge to protect her. To murder anyone that tried so much as to touch her unwarranted.

He was snapped from his reverie when he felt her lips press against his neck, ever so delicately and unsure. He sucked in a sharp gasp, his whole body stiff and scared to move. He tried to steady his breathing, unsure why that affected him so badly. He needed more control. He closed his eyes as he gently held her, leaning his head back against the chair to try to calm himself. After a moment, she placed another, more bold kiss to his neck, the scar below his ear at his jawline. Rather than squeezing her, he slammed his hands to the side, brows furrowing as his control was slipping. He centered himself again as he breathed out her name, remembering her request. He wasn't getting aroused, but his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. He had enough control to know that this was not sexual. But man it should have been with as good as it was feeling. She giggled softly into his neck, her breath coming out a puff of hot air against his heated skin. She sat up then, hand delicately holding his cheek and claiming his attention as his eyes fluttered open. She could tell he was having a hard time and it brought tears to her eyes that he was restraining himself for her. "Are you ok?" she asked softly.

Ben nodded curtly. "Just... give me a minute," he said as he averted his glance, slightly embarrassed that he wanted to hold her so close right now. He hadn't been this close to anyone before. He had no interest in dating before, but Rey... she completely unraveled her. He was slowly developing deep feelings for her the more he was around her, the more he saw her vulnerabilities and learned how to deal with them. He kept his lower half in check as he breathed softly, eyes finding Rey's once more. He hesitantly lifted his hand from the chair, Rey flinching accidentally. "Can I..." he asked, hovering his hand over her cheek. She slowly leaned into his hand and nuzzled his hand with her cheek, eyes closing in contentment. He delicately held her face, as if exploring their connection a little too closely at the current moment. "Rey?" His voice was unsure. Hesitant. Scared? Rey opened her eyes as she looked into his deep depths. "I... I'm going to... kiss you... if that's all right?" he questioned, confidence in his voice, but not in his eyes.

Rey hesitated for a moment, contemplating if she would be able to handle that. She saw no reason not to... but... she was scared nonetheless. Someone was asking her permission. For once in her life, someone cared if she wanted it or not. Her eyes watered for a moment before she shut them and nodded silently. She couldn't watch him approach. She would lose her nerve. She only held his hand on her cheek, squeezing it for comfort, as if to ground her that it was Ben, and not anyone from her memories. "Look at me," he whispered as he shifted slightly to lean closer. Rey hesitantly opened her eyes, eyes instantly connecting with Ben's. He was less than a foot away from her as he slowly, but surely, moved closer to her, eyes fixed on hers to show her that he was real. That he was him and not anyone else. She kept her eyes trained on him, not quite ready to close her eyes yet. This had been a better idea than just closing her eyes and being surprised. He stopped as his lips brushed against hers, their breaths mingling on each other's faces as their heart rates picked up in unison. He searched her eyes, looking for any fear or hesitation. When he found none, she felt his lips curl into a soft smile as he closed his eyes and leaned forward the extra inch to delicately press his lips to hers in a feather light kiss.

Rey stared at his closed eyes for a moment before closing her own and bringing her free hand to wrap in his long hair at the nape of his neck, relishing in the feeling of his lips against hers. It was so light. So soft. So warm. So... loving. Her breath hitched at that. He was being so delicate with her. He was taking his time with her, asking her permission on every move he made. He was fearful of startling her. He _cared_. Ben Solo cared for her. She tilted her head to give more sustenance to the kiss from her end, showing that she was comfortable enough to carry this on at least a little longer. Ben gently wrapped his other hand around her lower back, keeping his hands away from any part of her that could be considered inappropriate. She was thankful that he didn't have wandering hands. He knew what she needed before she did. Their lips moved against each other's in a slow dance of trust and respect.

After a few moments, to Rey's dislike, Ben pulled away and opted to lean his forehead against hers, a bright smile on his face that could melt the toughest of icebergs. Rey gave him a smile as well. No words were needed. They'd let their kiss speak for them. She could see in his eyes that he was holding back. But she didn't know that he could see the same in hers. "Ben," she whispered as her fingers tangled in his hair some more, eliciting a slight shiver from him. "I'm glad you're here."

Ben smiled then as he gently stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. "Me, too, Rey."

A knock came at the door, startling them both and causing them to jump, Rey clutching to Ben and Ben holding defensively to her. Luke called to them on the opposite side of the door. Ben nodded at her to the bed and she hesitantly left his lap, planting a very soft chaste kiss to his lips before she went, and hopped in bed, covering herself up and curling on the pillow. Ben got up and walked to the door, opening it to stare at Luke. Luke simply handed his nephew new clothes to wear, earning a quirked brow from Ben. "You know as well as I do that you're not leaving anytime soon," he said as he walked away, leaving a bewildered Ben to stand in the doorway holding Luke's clothes in his hand.

He turned to look at Rey, shutting the door in the process. "Is he always this suggestive?" Rey laughed then. Actually laughed. His heart warmed at the sound. Before he could stop himself, his mouth sent out a breathy, "Beautiful." Rey stopped and blushed wildly and Ben became flustered. "I-I mean..." He hesitated, seeing the brightness dim slightly in her eyes. He didn't _not_ mean it... He gave a shy smirk. "You are."

Rey blushed and looked away, unsure if her heart could take much more of this palpating that he'd caused her so much tonight. "Th-thanks," she said softly, ducking her head and trying to hide behind her hair.

Ben chuckled at her innocence. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes..." She sounded sad then and Ben was at her side in an instant, but not menacingly so. He sat gingerly on her bed, lifting a leg to face her as he gently reached for her hand. She let him take it as she wound her fingers between his. "I've never been called that before... Never thought I would be either..."

Ben smiled warmly at her, moving his other hand to move the hair from her face, earning her attention then. "You're very beautiful, Rey. Whoever thinks contrary is blind." His face was serious and his voice was soft, but she could hear his conviction. She smiled then and gently pulled him closer to her.

He followed where she led him and soon, she was in his arms again. He kissed her forehead softly, earning a hum of contentment from Rey. Luke's clothes lay on the bed, forgotten, as he opted to hold the woman he was falling for. She sat up then and looked in his eyes, silently questioning and asking for something. She tilted her head up a little and he grinned as he leaned forward again, lips finding hers as they found their home in each other.


	8. Break

**A/N: Oh goodness! Thank you so much for the very nice reviews! I greatly appreciate all of your input! Just the thing I needed while writing about something uncomfortable lol I'm not sure where this is going to go with these two as of yet... but we shall see! I'm hoping to throw in another issue soon. Quite enjoying the fluff that's coming though :) But with something so delicate of a subject, fluff is warranted lol Get comfort where you can! Anyway! Hope you enjoy the next installment! R&R!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 8: Break_

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Ben woke up the next morning, his body warm and contented and a soft gust on his chest. Level breathing graced his ears as he realized where he was. His eyes shot open, darting down to the source of the warmth. Rey. And his arms were around her, holding her against him. His mind raced as he trued to remember what had happened last night. He realized then that his chest was bare, but Rey was clothed. He breathed a sigh of relief. Good. He had maintained himself. Then he realized that his pants were different as well. He had to chuckle at himself. He slept so well that he didn't remember having taken a shower and coming back to Rey snuggling against him. Then again, he did wake up a few times to Rey whimpering in her sleep. That thought caused a small darkness to settle in his eyes. People had hurt her. And she was still willing to be this close to him. She was such a strong woman, he knew it from the time he first laid eyes on her. She'd been through so much, fought so much to regain any sense of normalcy in her broken, shattered life, and she was doing extraordinarily well, he thought. It was never easy to recover from such a difficult time, especially a history of abuse.

He allowed himself to gently brush the hair from her eyes, her hair falling from the typical three buns that she kept it in. Her smell hit him then, as if the wind had blown it straight into his nostrils. She had a very distinct scent. It was soft, yet spicy. Much like her personality. Her scent wasn't as frilly as other women, thankfully, because let's be honest, they wore way too much perfume sometimes. No, Rey was natural. She didn't need to add a thing to her personal smell. He found himself liking it more and more the more he breathed it in. He felt her squirm in his arms then. He stilled and just admired her quietly. Her eyes fluttered open as her bare cheek landed on his bare chest. "Morning," she whispered, voice still husky from sleep.

Ben's lips curled just a hair as he gently kissed her forehead. "Morning, sunshine." She snickered at the name. So original. But it was cute. And she didn't like to call anything cute.

"What time is it?" she whispered, settling back against him as her eyes slipped closed again.

Ben hesitantly answered, "About 10."

Her eyes shot open then as she slung the covers off of her and started to scurry around her room. "Crap! Why so late?! We need to-"

"Rey..." he said calmly, stopping her in her tracks as she whipped around to look at him over her shoulder. He gave her a soft smile. "It's Saturday. No work today." He watched her put that together as a slight pink rose from her neck to her cheeks. He snickered softly, lifting the covers back up for her to come back, eyes inviting and full of amusement. She turned and walked back to her bed, getting under the blankets and curling up against him. He wrapped his arms back around her and she started to laugh softly. He joined her shortly afterwards and she punched his arm. "I mean... we could go to work, but this is something more important," he said smugly.

Rey's eyes darted up at him, challenge in her eyes. "More important, huh?" Ben nodded simply, earning him another punch. "Idiot." She kissed his lips softly, chastely, almost making Ben question if it ever happened to begin with. They settled into a comfortable silence, just content to be around each other in each other's arms. Rey was almost drifting off again, enjoying the restfulness that settled among them, until she heard a rap on the door. She sighed a heavy annoyed sigh. "What?" she called from her position on Ben's chest.

"Get your clothes on and come have breakfast," Luke called, mirth in his voice. The same mirth that made Ben want to punch him in the throat. Such a bold insinuation for such a dirty old man, he thought.

Rey's face darkened at the assumption. She loved her adoptive father/uncle/guy, but he was so insensitive sometimes... "We're-"

"Stop imposing your fantasies on us, hermit," Ben called over her, earning a snicker from Luke on the other side.

Rey looked up at Ben. He leaned down and gently kissed her lips briefly. "Let's get some food. I'm sure you'll appreciate it," he said as he started to pull away from her. Her arms around his neck stopped him momentarily. "Rey-"

"Thank you, Ben," she whispered, placing an affectionate kiss on his cheek. He smirked at her and they both got out of bed. He'd had to sleep shirtless last night due to Luke's shirt not anywhere close to fitting him. He was a bigger guy than his uncle and there was no way he was going to wear a shirt that made him look like he was wearing a girl's shirt. Rey took a few moments to get used to it, but once she did, she found she liked it and snuggled right up to him, after many assurances that Ben was going to behave himself and she could trust him.

When Ben got to his feet, he turned his back to her and stretched, his long arms almost touching her ceiling as he did so. She risked a glance at him and saw the muscles in his back flex, worrying her lip before she turned away. Those muscles... A shiver went through her, first of delight, then of something darker. He could easily overpower her. Her eyes turned dark as she stood still, a new shirt in hand. Her brows furrowed as she glared at a spot on the floor. He wouldn't... would he? No, Ben wouldn't do that...

But he was a man. Men were capable of anything given the right emotions at the right time. Or in her case, at the wrong time. Why was she getting so comfortable with him so quickly? She barely knew him. Barely knew what he was capable of. Barely had enough time to... trust him... But yet she did. She gave almost all of her trust to him. Why? Was it because she was so desperate to feel normal? She knew that her lack of trust in everyone around her was a very disturbing thing, and not by any means normal, but what was so special about him? She really had no reason to trust him. He'd saved her from the thugs violating her and comforted her on more than one occasion. When she was attacking him, he never once swung back, even though she knew he struggled with his anger. She didn't even know her goal for attacking him then. But he never once attempted to hurt her. So... maybe he wasn't so bad? Or maybe he secretly wanted to swing back and didn't because he would never hear the end of it?

"Rey?" She snapped from her thoughts then, jumping as she looked back at him. He was still on the opposite side of the room, staring at her with clear confusion. "Are you all right?"

Rey didn't know how to answer that. She broke eye contact to look down at the floor. Was she? "Yeah... just thinking," she said hurriedly as she decided to walk out of the room instead of get dressed, her shirt forgotten on the floor. She needed to put some distance, she realized. If she didn't, she couldn't think about what was happening to her. He didn't call her, but she heard his footsteps from behind her. They weren't menacing as if he were trying to hunt her down, but they were just as if he were following her quietly. She made it downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Breakfast was waiting for them at the table, their plates next to each other as Luke sat opposite the table, sipping his coffee and reading the paper. She frowned at the placement. Why was he pushing so hard? He looked up from his paper at Rey then. "Why are you pushing us so hard?" It was out of her mouth before she could stop it.

Luke looked a little taken aback at her bold question. He glanced behind her and saw Ben leaning against the door frame, keeping his distance so the two could talk. Luke's eyes found Rey's again and it was then that he registered what he was doing. "You don't need to be alone, Rey."

"That is my decision!" she hissed back at him. "You have no right to decide what happens with me!"

Luke let her yell and considered her thoughtfully. He nodded quietly. "You're right. I'm sorry to confuse you."

Rey paused then. That's why she was so angry. So upset. So... hesitant. She was confused. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes then as Luke once again read her the right way. He knew her better than she knew herself. Ben knew her better than she knew herself. She was so tired of these men telling her what was best and what she needed and how she was feeling all the time. Why couldn't she figure it out herself? Was she stupid? She fought back the tears that became increasingly more difficult to keep in. Luke noticed her struggle and stood slowly. He walked over to her, purpose in his steps. He slowly held open his arms, inviting her the comfort she knew she needed. Rey stayed where she was for a moment, considering the invitation. But her stubbornness almost won out. Before she could second guess herself, she threw her arms around Luke and buried her face into his shirt. Luke slowly closed his arms around her, awkwardly at best as he patted her back. Come to think of it, he didn't know why he offered something he was so uncomfortable with. He looked over Rey's shoulder then at Ben, who was cautiously eyeing the two. Their eyes held a silent conversation that Rey was completely unaware of. Luke apologizing and Ben silently threatening him that if he hurt Rey, Ben would kill him.

After years of struggling... Ben and Luke reached a mutual understanding. And they'd come together with Rey. This poor broken girl that just wanted a family. That wanted to feel wanted. Ben abandoned his post against the door frame as Luke tended to Rey and walked into the kitchen to make their coffee. He remembered how Rey liked it from the coffee shop and made it the same. He also made his own, black with a hint of cream in it. He set the two cups on the table, sitting down as Rey and Luke pulled apart, Luke apologizing again and Rey punching his shoulder. Ben all of a sudden felt less special. His face fell before he could stop it. He looked away and focused on his coffee, lifting his cup to hide his expression. "Breakfast is getting cold," he said to the two.

Rey and Luke sat in silence, Rey next to Ben and Luke across from them. She glanced over at him and could feel him seething next to her. She didn't know why this made her so uncomfortable. What had set him off, she wondered. She was scared to ask. She saw him going down the rabbit hole again and she frowned, reaching under the table to hold his hand on his leg. But he didn't snap out of it. Instead, he pulled away from her and stood, walking away from the table in silence. Rey sat silently, eyes following him and staring sadly as he went. She was worried about him, but she was scared to follow. Her eyes stayed glued on the door frame that he had left through, hoping he would come back. When she realized he wasn't, she moved her eyes to her own food. She wasn't hungry anymore. Luke watched her carefully. "Rey..." She made no move to acknowledge him, but he knew she heard him. "Ben has... Ben is moody. It's best to give him a little while. No telling what sets that boy off," he said as he sipped his coffee again.

Rey frowned at that. "Why is he so angry?" she whispered, scared that she wouldn't be able to help him.

Luke sighed softly. "Well... He's had a rough life. His parents were always too busy for him. His father wasn't hardly there. He was a good guy... just misguided and couldn't ever tell where he wanted to be. So the family suffered for it. His mother was too busy taking care of other affairs. I never wanted him here because I didn't know how to handle him. He had no place anywhere," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Rey's frown deepened. "No one deserves to be alone..." she said as she stood from the table.

"Rey, I'm warning you." Rey glared at him. "He needs time to work through his issues. You don't want to see him when he's angry. He might-"

"What? Hurt me?" she hissed out at him. "I'm scared how he is when he's angry, but no one deserves to be abandoned. Especially not someone that never had anyone," she ground out at him as she stomped away, breaking into a jog to see where Ben went to, the door slamming shut behind her. She was in the front yard, seeing Ben running down the street. He'd apparently put on a shirt, a long sleeved black one, and went for a run. She geared herself up to go for a run, too. She took off after him, making it up to him with much difficulty as his legs were far longer than hers, his strides longer than her own. "Ben-"

"Go home, Rey," he hissed as he started to run faster, attempting to get away from her.

Rey was flabbergasted. Had he just-... Anger seethed in her eyes as she ran to catch up with him again. "Ben!" she hissed at him, catching up and keeping pace with him. "What's wrong?"

Ben remained silent as he continued to run, his anger building back up again. "It doesn't matter."

"It does!"

"It's stupid!" he thundered back at her, stopping abruptly, Rey at his side. He refused to meet her eyes, both of them just standing there trying to catch their breath.

"It's not stupid if it's bothering you," she insisted.

Ben looked at her. He didn't know what to say to her. "What makes you think you'll understand?"

Rey's eyes shone with a bit of hurt at that. "Because... I-"

Ben huffed as his cell phone rang. He looked down at it and saw Luke's name. He answered it with a bristling "What?" Rey watched as emotions flurried through Ben's face and eyes. First anger, then consideration, anger again. She reached out to touch his hand, but he pulled away. "You have room to talk, old man," he hissed at Luke, eyes dangerously dark. "What do you care? You have all you want-" He released a growl and threw his phone to the ground, glaring at it as if it had just killed his mother. Rey jumped then and Ben realized what he'd done. "Rey... go home. I don't want you around me right now," he said with his voice low and level, but underneath she could tell that he was very angry.

She looked at his face. "You shouldn't be alone," she whispered.

Ben glared at her. "And why not? You're clearly scared right now, so what do you want to be around me for?"

Rey didn't know how to answer that. Because she felt she needed to? Because she wanted to? Because... because? "You shouldn't be alone," she said weakly.

Ben scoffed at her. "What, you think that your presence is enough to calm me down? You don't even know what's wrong, do you?" Rey shook her head. "Thought so. How can you help someone when you don't understand what's bothering them?" he chided.

Rey looked up at him then. "No matter what it is, it's enough to bother you and I want to be here to help like you've been there for me."

Ben quirked a brow at her. He had to admire her for her determination. And loyalty. But he couldn't quite calm down. What had even set him off? The fact that he thought he was special with her, but in fact he was just another person to her? He didn't know. Was he jealous? Was he upset? Was he hurt? He didn't quite understand. He was just angry. He'd been suppressing it for so long that it just flowed freely now. He couldn't hold back the dam anymore. "It's so easy for you." She tilted her head a little at that, clearly confused. He sighed heavily. "It's so easy for you. To be able to get over whatever your problem is. To be able to trust people. To... _exist_. To be loved by so many people. I wish I had it that easy."

She felt her eyes watering again. "Ben-"

"Don't." He felt his fists clench at his sides, anger threatening to flood over him in an instant. "You were in the foster system, but I would have been better off there. At least your parents are dead. Mine don't want anything to do with me. My own uncle doesn't want to deal with me. He puts up with you so easily, even comforting you. I've never seen him hug anyone before. Except you. He didn't care. He doesn't care about me or anyone else. Except you." She sensed where this was going. He was angry at her. She felt her defenses kick up a notch. "I've told you before that I have an anger problem. All my life that's all I've ever known. It's the only way to deal with the pain. I don't know any other way to deal with it. It hurts that I can't be myself around anyone. No one accepts me. They see one flash of anger and they run as far as they can." His fist collided with a nearby tree, breaking some of the bark and making Rey jump, her body retreating by a single step. But it was the only step he needed. "When will you run, too?"

Sadness overwhelmed her. All she wanted to do was throw herself at him and soothe his pain, but she knew that if she did, he would push her away in this state. "Ben... I ran _to_ you... not away," she gently reminded him, despite her fear of him right now. It brought back memories of Plutt punching things before he aimed his attention at her. She tried her best to push past it though, knowing she needed to focus on him. He needed her now.

Ben scoffed then. "Look at you, Rey. You're shaking. Am I scaring you?" he asked dangerously, a devilish glint in his dark eyes as he raked his eyes up and down her form, analyzing her closely. She steeled herself in front of him. He let out a dark chuckle. "Your face says it all. Go ahead. Call me what everyone called me. It's on the tip of your tongue, isn't it?" he hissed, rounding on her as he advanced. She stood her ground thought, refusing to retreat. He reached out then and did something she didn't think he would do; he grabbed her by her upper arms forcefully. "Call me a monster just like everyone else has my whole life, Rey! Say it!"

"Ben, you're hurting me," she whispered, fear making her bottom lip quiver. She tried her best to push down her feelings of sadness and the memories that threatened to take over her. It was getting so hard. She didn't know him as much as she thought she did. She wanted to know more of him, and she was getting her wish. But this was not what she was thinking. She wanted to know more of the soft Ben, not this... this... _person_.

Ben's eyes were hard he stared down at her. He knew she was struggling, but he couldn't back down. He knew he was being detrimental to her right now, but he couldn't stop. Something was egging him on. All of his emotions were raging full force inside of him like a dangerous tornado of negativity. He wanted to release her and hold her softly as he had before, apologizing into her hair. He wanted to make her feel so much better. He wanted to comfort her. This wasn't who he wanted to be with her. This wasn't who he wanted to be at all! But here he was. He was breaking any and all trust he'd received from her. When he released her, she would run away from him, just like all the others had. He was never in a relationship because he was too angry. He never had the love of his parents because he was too angry. He never had any place to go because he was too angry. He had all of this pain because he was angry. It hit him then.

Rey made him better. Rey quelled all the anger within him. She soothed him. And he was messing it all up. Just like he messed up everything else.

Rey saw the warring emotions in his eyes, tears threatening to spill over as she stared up at him, the burning pain in her upper arms as he held tightly to her. At first, it was menacing, it was threatening. But she realized it was something else. Desperation. While he was so angry, he was also begging her not to leave. As she struggled against the emotions that were warring in her own mind, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, pouring all the affection she had for him in that single kiss. This was probably a mistake, she realized, but at least he could feel what she felt for him. She didn't want to leave him. She didn't want him to be alone. She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want him to leave her. She felt like she was losing everything the further and further he got down his rabbit hole. She needed to pull him back. She needed to do something. This was all she could think of. She needed Ben to be back with her. She needed him.

As much as he needed her.

His grip loosened on her arms after a few moments of Rey's lips meeting his. She broke free from his grasp and threw her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss to the best of her abilities, silently crying as she did so. All the pain she felt, all the sadness, all the love... she poured it all into that kiss, silently begging Ben to come back. His own eyes welled up as he tilted his head to kiss her back, arms flying around her and holding her tight against him. They shared a moment of passion, Ben's back against the tree he'd punched and Rey pressed tightly against him as they both broke to breathe. Their breaths mingled, foreheads pressed against the other's. Ben's eyes were so sad. The darkness had left them, but now there was only sadness and regret. Rey's own eyes reflected her fear. Fear of the memories that haunted her from Ben grabbing her so coldly, fear of retreating back into her own rabbit hole. Fear of losing him. But her eyes also shone something else that made Ben's heart ache more.

_Love_.


	9. Beloved

**A/N: So this is just pure fluff! Hope y'all enjoy it anyway! R&R!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 9: Beloved_

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He didn't deserve it. The look she was giving him. The look of pure, untainted love. He choked out a soft sob, regretting everything he'd done. Everything he'd said. He scared her. He'd lost himself to his anger. He was such a monster. Rey sobbed against him, eyes still staring sadly into his. Her hands were holding his face, as if he were going to run away at any given moment the second she released him. Her heart couldn't bear it. "You're not a monster, Ben," she cried as she gently peppered his face with kisses, attempting to mend his broken pieces as he had started to do with her. Nothing about her was what he deserved. She was so sweet with him. She was so kind. She was so... loving.

Ben reached for her face and she flinched then. He felt himself retreating from her in that moment, hands dropping at his sides. He couldn't meet her eyes. He'd done that to her. When she realized that she'd flinched, she regretted it. "Ben..." she whispered, voice quivering. He didn't raise his eyes to look at her. His lips only pressed together into a thin line. She was losing him again. "Ben, please," she begged, a sob breaking through as her thumbs stroked his cheekbones. He looked at her through his dark lashes. His face took her breath away. "Hold me," she whispered. He made no move to. "Please, Ben," she whispered.

"You flinched," he said weakly, a sad smile on his face. "I hurt you," he said as he laughed condescendingly at himself. He pressed a palm to his eye, trying to get a hold of himself.

Rey frowned at him, desperate to mend this. "You did." He froze then. "But I want you anyway. You're fine now," she pleaded. She pulled his hand away from his eye and laced their fingers together then. Her eyes searched his, taking in his pain and sadness and... fear? What was this man scared of? It threw her for a loop. She always looked at Ben as fearless. Why was he scared? "You're... scared?" Ben nodded quietly. "Ben... why? Of what?"

His eyes pierced her very soul then as two words spilled from his lips. "Hurting you." It all made sense. She was scared of losing him. He was scared of hurting her. Her heart swelled in her chest then. She leaned forward and pressed her lips desperately to his, kissing the life out of him if she could. She felt the most delicate of touches land on her hips as he inclined his head to deepen the kiss between them, falling into it and melding into it as if they were meant to be this way. Rey felt the tenderness from Ben counteract her desperation and she accepted the band-aid. She was now certain that he was just as scared as she was. This thing... whatever they had... was frightening for the both of them. It was all so new. So fresh. So... pure.

When their kiss ended, Ben gently and slowly, raised his hand, watching Rey carefully. He delicately cupped her cheek, holding her face intimately. "Please forgive me, Rey," he whispered to her. She'd never thought that such a tough manly man like him could make such a scared and timid sound erupt from his throat. But it brought depth to her bond with him. He was real. He was human. He had weaknesses just like her. He had cracks in his armor, just like she did. He had scars that needed mending, just like her. She saw his vulnerability, his fortification, his weakness and his strength. He was... _perfect_.

Rey smiled at him. "There's nothing to forgive, Ben."

Ben's face contorted into something she didn't recognize, nor could she understand as he quickly pulled her to him, holding onto her as if his life depended on it. "Please bear with me."

Rey nodded as she melted into him. "And you, me."

"Always," he promised.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Luke glanced out the window, having not moved from his spot in the kitchen for at least an hour since Rey followed Ben. He saw the two coming back, hand in hand, walking up the driveway with smiles back at the other. His own lips curled into a knowing smile. He was glad they both had someone. It warmed his heart to see Rey trusting another man and Ben to be trusting anyone, let alone a woman. They both had their issues, but he knew they were good for each other. They walked through the front door together and went straight upstairs without a word to Luke. Ben chased Rey up the stairs and before he knew what was happening, Luke heard Rey giggle as her bedroom door was slammed shut and locked. His brow quirked then. That fast?

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Ben flung Rey over his shoulder and carried her into her room, kicking the door shut with his boot and locking it. He knew how Luke was. He heard Rey laughing softly from her lofty position before he set her down on the bed and grinned down at her, his arms on either side of her hips, him still standing over her as she sat at the edge of the bed. He grinned down at her. "Thank you, Rey."

Rey's smile faltered for a moment. "For?"

He kissed her forehead and sat next to her. "Helping me."

Rey nodded at him. "We need to talk, Ben." Ben looked over at her, swallowed hard and nodded nonetheless. That was nerve racking... Usually when someone said that, it was something bad. But he trusted Rey. She turned to him and hesitated for a few moments, Ben patiently (on the outside only, because his insides were twisting and swirling like some sort of hurricane on steroids) waited for her to start. "How do you feel about me?"

He could tell it was a difficult question for her to ask. He wanted to divert, to ask her to elaborate, but he knew that if he did that, he would make her even more uncomfortable as he was now. It was a legitimate question though... How _did_ he feel about her? He knew he was interested in her. He knew he felt some strange closeness that was extremely foreign to him, but other than that... what was his goal? What was he hoping to accomplish with her? Was he hoping for more than she was ready to give? Would he be able to wait? He carefully studied his own reactions, schooling his face as he tried to interpret his own feelings. He wanted to make sure he gave her the correct answer, not just what he hoped for or what she was hoping for. He needed to tell her the truth. But he knew he couldn't hesitate for too long because that would make her really uncomfortable, like he knew she was starting to feel now. Crap, how long had it been already? He felt the panic rising in his throat. He swallowed it down before taking in a deep breath and looking down at her bed, choosing to play with the rumpled sheet between them. Ok... here goes nothing.

His eyes found hers and realized that even though she was feeling antsy, she waited for him to get his thoughts together. He appreciated that so very much. So much more than words could say. And it made him fall for her all over again. "That's a loaded question," he started dumbly, a small chuckle falling from his lips and hers, breaking the awkwardness. He licked his lips and started to answer honestly. "When... When I first saw you... it was hard for me to want to leave you. When you walked away, I grabbed you because I was scared I was missing an opportunity to talk to you more." He paused then, Rey's face schooled as she focused on his words. "Luke told me a little of what was wrong with you. He'd said you'd had a rough life and I needed to watch my temper around you because... you'd been abused. In more than one way." Rey's eyes stung with tears then. She blinked them away as Ben glanced back down to the wrinkled fabric between them. He picked at it, pinching it as he gathered himself again. She could tell it was a nervous habit of his. But she waited.

"I knew then... I had a choice to make." This intrigued her. A choice? What choice had he had to make? "Was I content being angry all the time? Or... was it more important to try to change to make you more comfortable?" His eyes found hers when he finished that question. The breath stopped in her chest. "I... I wanted to know more about you. So I made up some stupid reason to come back to this hermit's garage. You'd fixed my car and I knew that you knew what you were doing with mechanics and you weren't just another stupid woman that didn't know her way around anything. You, by knowing how to fix a car, and liking to do it, showed me that... you were very strong. Independent." He grabbed her hand then. "Special." The word burned her ears and jump started her heart. She opened her mouth to speak, but Ben continued before he lost his nerve. "I had asked Luke to work in his garage... so I could be around you more. I wanted to know how much you knew. I wanted to know what type of person you were. I tried to goad you into some stupid challenges. And I'd purposely lost that bet so I could have an excuse to take you out for coffee," he said with a shy smile. Rey laughed softly then, eyes shining with unfallen tears. "But I knew that if I didn't control my temper... I'd scare you away. And that's when I started to feel the fear of losing you. It was a struggle within myself. To keep calm despite my inner failings and to maintain my composure when I felt like losing it. But... it was easier when I did it for you."

Rey's cheeks burned as she felt herself growing more appreciative for Ben Solo, the temperamental, moody broody man that stole her heart as quickly as she'd stolen his. "I knew it was going to be difficult..." He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Difficult to win your trust. But it was worth any effort I could put forth. You were this temperamental girl that struggled to accept the past and wanted to move on to at least a semi-normal life. And I wanted to help you do it because it was what you deserved. You swung at me when you were having a relapse... and I had to smile. It was difficult at first to not want to defend myself, but I knew that there was no way I would ever consider raising a hand at you. I wanted to soothe your pain... not add to it. So, I went on the defensive and eventually it became a game," he said with a small grin. "It was our own weird little dance, in a way," he clarified as he gently stroked the back of her hand with his large thumb. "I wanted to help you let go of your pain. When you started to cry, all I wanted to do was take the pain out of you and put it all on me. I hated the people that hurt you. I wanted to hurt them. I wanted them to suffer as much as they made you suffer." His eyes grew dark before he shook his head, breaking his dark thoughts.

"I settled for comforting you because... it was the only way I knew you would approve of. I doubted you would trust me if I all of a sudden hunted down all those that hurt you and beat them into the dirt," he snickered. Rey nodded with a small smile, loving how he understood her so early on. "The more I tried to change for you, the easier it was to think differently. When those men attacked you..." His eyes dropped to their hands. "I'm glad I wasn't too late," he whispered. "But I wish I was sooner than I was." His eyes found hers and the intensity reflected in them was enough to burn her to her core. It had truly hurt him to not be able to protect her as fully as he wanted to. "Rey..." he whispered as he used his other hand to cup her cheek. "You think you mean nothing to everyone..." he whispered to her. "But to me... you mean everything." Her breath hitched then as her tears finally fell. "You're my most beloved Rey of sunshine," he said with a gentle, heart warming smile. She openly sobbed, hand going up to hold his hand on her face. "Rey... I know I haven't known you long," he said with a small laugh. "And this is... beyond crazy... but... in just a short time," he started as he leaned closer to her, his lips a mere inch away from hers, eyes smoldering the fire that was burning in his chest and transferring into hers. "I've fallen hopelessly in love with you," he whispered as he claimed her lips.

Without a second thought, she kissed him back with just as much intensity as her heart would allow her to feel for this man. She realized that she needed him as much as he needed her and she wouldn't have it any other way. She'd found someone that respected her, cared for her. She had found someone that... despite their differences... would give anything and everything for her if she only asked. She'd felt his heartfelt confession shake her to her core. Her whole body was vibrant and full of life as he said his last sentence. His voice was resonating in her ears and in her heart, caressing every deep emotion that she felt in her body. His very being resonated within her. Every touch that he placed on her body lit her aflame. Her whole body was burning, like a volcano about to explode and burst forth all of the pressure that was built up within her. It had been building for a while and she was so bound up in him that she forgot that they had to breathe. He pulled away from her and they both laughed softly. His dark eyes pierced her soul as his lips curled into the widest smile she'd seen from him. "I love you," he whispered.

Her heart leaped in her chest, giddiness rising in her belly as she tackled him. They fell off the bed, Ben on his back with Rey on top of him, making a loud thump that they knew Luke would hear downstairs, but neither of them could find it in themselves to care. She grabbed his face with both hands and stared fiercely into his eyes. "I love you, too, Ben Solo," she said as she slammed her lips against his in a heated kiss that just radiated sunlight and warmth.

They'd heard a knock at the door then and Luke's voice on the other end. "Don't break the floor, kids," he said as his footsteps retreated.

Ben and Rey looked at each other and laughed softly, mischief shining in their eyes as smiled at each other, just wanting to hold onto this moment for as long as they could. They'd both found their home. In each other.


	10. Bothered

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for following the story so far! It's been nice to ink out feelings so far lol Whew! Long chapter! Got a little carried away there. Enjoy this next chapter! It's coming to a close soon! Enjoy! R&R!**

**WARNING: Trigger ahead. Attempted rape. *** show start and finish. Please skip if this bothers you!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 10: Bothered_

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It's only been a few hours that they've admitted their feelings for each other. They'd long past moved from the floor to the bed. They'd talked about odds and ends, making jokes every once in a while with each other. A playful banter, really. They'd both stolen kisses as well, which was meant to happen with being so into each other. Ben would never push her though. He didn't want more than this at the moment. He'd rather take things slow, even if the impatient part of him wanted to do far more than he was thinking, even if he didn't know how. He pushed that thought away as soon as it surfaced. He didn't need to start thinking about that. He respected her enough to let her make the first move and if she wasn't ready, he sure wasn't going to be.

"Ben..." she called from his outstretched arm where she lay her head. He replied with a soft hum as his hand gently rubbed up and down her back, a gentle tickle that was welcome to soothe her stiff body. Her eyes were closed, her long lashes fluttered over her high cheekbones. Her face was one of pure contentment. He could tell she was tired. It was always mentally taxing on her to fight during the day to push away the bad memories. Part of him wanted to tell her to talk about them to get them out and move past them, but he didn't want to push her and risk damaging her further. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. "I haven't had a really bad nightmare in a while," she whispered with a soft smile.

Ben stared down at her as his hand continued to gently rub her back. "That's good," he murmured softly, keeping his voice light and low.

"I had one after you grabbed me..." she said as she opened her eyes to look up at him. "But you saved me in my dream." She let out a soft whispery laugh as his hand paused on her back, putting things together with the timeline. "It's funny. We didn't know each other at all and you were already fighting away the bad guys." Ben smiled down at her, a toothy grin that showed a bit of pride and shyness all at the same time. It was becoming. She smiled softly at him and curled closer to him, head resting on his arm and her small arm around his waist. He curled her closer, his outstretched arm bent to support his head as he looked down at her.

Ben watched as he breathing leveled out. He wasn't tired enough to sleep, but he was content enough just sitting there watching her at peace. His mind was swirling with all the emotions he felt for her. He was still making sense of them. His resolve was firm enough, but he was still questioning how someone like her could love him. He was such an angry person that was pissed off at the world. Yet he was able to control himself with her. And she... she was so bold and brave to be able to reign him back in from his dark moments. He had been almost at his worst with her. Almost. He inwardly cringed, thinking of the possibility of being his worst around her. She had struggled with wanting to shy away, but she stayed. But if he were at his worst... how would she fare? The thought sickened him. It scared him. His hold on her grew slightly tighter before he could stop himself. She released a soft sigh against his neck, pulling him back from his thoughts. Even in her sleep she pulled him back in. He let out a soft airy chuckle. Rey was certainly special.

Minutes passed and soon, Rey's face twisted into something that wasn't so peaceful. She released a whimper and a mumble that Ben couldn't quite make out. His attention was all on her though. He watched her carefully, waiting for any sign of what was going on with her. She whimpered again, a little louder as she curled into herself, arms wrapped tightly around herself as a means of comfort. He gently rubbed her back and whispered into her ear, "It's ok, Rey. You're safe." It made the shuddering stop, but not pull her out of what she was experiencing. She kicked her legs out then and Ben knew it was about to get physical. He stayed close. He didn't know what he could do, but he would figure it out as he went, he supposed. She flung herself onto her back, head turned away from him as he noticed her chest heaving, struggling for air. Her pace had quickened as she started to mumble more, her eyes shut tight in fear. He gently reached out and moved the hair from her face. "Rey... Rey... calm down," he whispered to her.

Hesitation. She paused, even her breathing stopping. Then she started to panic again. "It's Ben," he called again, trying to help her realize she was safe.

"No! Stop!" she cried as she flailed against an invisible assailant. She almost punched him in the face, but he ducked out of the way, eyes fixated on her as she struggled to overcome this nightmare. "Ben!" she cried as she threw her arms over her face as if she were being threatened. She was full blown crying now. It broke his heart. Was... was he hurting her? "Ben, please!" she cried desperately as she grabbed her upper arms and twisted away from him again, back to his chest as she curled into the fetal position.

His large hand came to rest on hers that was holding her arm. "Rey... sweetheart, you're safe. I won't hurt you," he said lovingly as he gently rubbed the back of her hand, as if trying to gently coax her awake.

Her face twisted into that of a painful anger. "LIAR!" she screamed as she backhanded him, body remaining in that position on the bed. Her body was twisted in a half side, half back position as he held her hand where it fell on his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her knuckles, ever so delicately. "Ben... don't..." she whimpered softly, tears sliding out of her closed eyes and disappearing into her matted hair. Ben frowned as he instantly hated her nightmare. He was hurting her. He was doing something to her that she didn't like. Nightmares, he knew, sprung from some form of fear. Did she fear that he would harm her? That he would be just like the rest of trash in her life that tried to... tried to violate her? His eyes darkened at that. Maybe this wouldn't work after all. She didn't fully trust him. It was to be expected, but why did it hurt so bad? Part of him expected her to trust him fully after he'd proved himself to her... but that clearly wasn't the case.

Her tears ebbed away as Ben held her hand, gently caressing it before she curled up into him again, clutching desperately to him. "Don't leave, Ben," she whispered desperately. "Don't leave me," she begged.

He wrapped his arms around her, even though it hurt him to do so. "Never," he whispered back as his own tears threatened to fall. He wanted so desperately to wake her up and demand answers. To get some sort of clarification on what just happened. Was she dreaming he left, or was she dreaming he violated her? Was she dreaming he violated her and then left?! His heart was aching in his chest as he felt the need for an answer, any answer. Why was she having this dream? Would she even tell him about it? Would she even remember it? His chest was aching so badly. He'd felt like she'd reached into his chest, grabbed his heart, squeezed it with all her might and ripped it out, hurling it to the ground and stepping on it with all she had. He blinked away his unfallen tears, lifting his eyes to the ceiling as he tried to get ahold of himself. Maybe redemption just wasn't in the cards for him. Maybe he wasn't meant to be with anyone. Ever. All he would do was hurt them anyway, so what was the point?

He didn't know how much time had passed since she calmed down, but he noticed as Rey stirred tightly against him, a gentle kiss finding its way to his neck, making him stiffen just a hair. "Ben..." she whispered, coming to after her restless nap. Her hand wound into his hair, playing the hairs at the nape of his neck. She received no reaction. It worried her. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw a hollow look on his face as he tried to compose himself. His eyes were glassy and puffy and red- "What's wrong?" she asked with evident alarm.

Ben didn't answer.

"Ben... what's wrong?" she asked again, a little more forcefully. She then noticed his cheek was red. Was that a... hand print? Her eyes widened then as a small gasp tore itself from her mouth. "Ben, did I... did I hit you?" she asked as her hand hovered above the mark. He pulled away from her, opting to sit up in bed. She was awake now, she didn't need him. She found herself saddening at the loss of contact. But she was more saddened by Ben's aloof behavior. He'd turned on the bed with his back to her, feet planted on the floor as his forearms were resting on his knees. "Ben... please talk to me," she begged softly as her arms wrapped around his shoulders, cheek nuzzling desperately against his.

What could he say? He just had to deal with her insecurities. That's all. That's all it was. It was just another insecurity. But it cut him deep. She didn't deserve that. He felt the darkness swelling within him, pulling him into the depths of his own mind. He didn't want to go there. He couldn't go there. But it was beckoning him. Like a siren calling ships in a storm, pulling them to their watery depth from a collision with the jagged rocks. It beckoned him and all he could do was helplessly follow it. She was crying now, choking out sobs as her grip on him grew tighter. She buried her face in her elbow, not letting go of him as her body racked with sobs and tremors. It tore him apart even more. He couldn't bring himself to speak though. He just brought his large hands up and held her arms around him quietly, a sad sigh escaping him. It didn't help the torment any more than not reacting. "Please..." she asked in a small voice, voice raw and desperate. His heart ached as his grip on her tightened just a hair, only to release a second later to gently holding her. "Tell me what happened," she begged as he turned in her arms and pulled her into his lap, trying to shush her and calm her though his own emotions were in a deadly dark place.

"What were you dreaming about?" he asked, voice devoid of emotions. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either. It was low, level... _dangerous_. She could tell he was in a bad spot. And she wanted to know why. Realization washed over her then as her eyes widened and her body grew rigid. That was all the answer he needed. "What did I do to you, Rey?" Some desperation slipped through without his permission. He needed to know.

Rey remained silent for a while. "You..." She wished she could just push the dream into his head so she didn't have to say it. She swallowed hard as she grabbed a firm hold onto his shoulder. "You saved me... but..." Tears fell desperately down her cheeks as she struggled to breathe. She didn't want to say it. "You turned on me." It was strangled as she desperately clung to him. He sat still, taking in his worst fear. He knew it was just a dream, and he wouldn't ever do that, willingly at least. However, she still feared it. He was racking his brain, trying to figure out how to convey to her that he wouldn't do anything outside of her comfort zone, but she continued speaking then, breaking his concentration and thought processes. "We... we were walking together. And it started as a replay from... that night," she said as she choked back a sob. He was at full attention as he listened to her get it out. He had to pay attention, even if it crushed his very soul. "You took care of them... but..." Her grip tightened on his shoulder, nails digging into his flesh. He barely noticed as the pain in his heart was far worse than any physical pain he could possibly experience right now. He felt the bile rising in his throat as he tried to keep it down. The thought that she dreamt that he had harmed her in some way sickened him.

He gently rubbed her back, trying to coax her to calm down. He fought off the whirlwind of negative emotions as he tried to focus on her. It was so difficult to be here with her right now. So difficult to... to touch her. To hold her. To have her close. Everything was so blasted difficult! She whimpered, drawing his attention back to her. He must have scared her again, he realized, as his had had stopped and was gripping her shirt desperately. He released her shirt and looked away with shame. "You were so strong... so possessive..." she cried out bitterly, ashamed that she was even saying any of this to him. If she had her way about it, she would have not dreamt it at all, but that little part of her subconscious had to ruin everything. The red flags that she had carefully marked upon meeting him were burned into her memory. His anger. His stature. His strength. The coldness in his eyes. The way he threw caution to the wind without thinking about anything other than the moment. All of it was a red flag. And her mind was against her. "Ben... I'm so sorry. I don't think you'll harm me, really-"

"If that were true..." he said, breaking her off calmly, not raising his sight to look at her own fearful eyes. He wanted to hide his inner turmoil from her as much as he could. He didn't want to frighten her anymore than the dream him already had. "If that were true... Rey, you wouldn't have dreamt that..." It was a matter of fact, in his opinion. There was nothing that could be done. Whatever fear he put into her was already done. He couldn't reverse time and do things differently. Whatever he'd done to scare her... it was already there. Nothing could change it. He could soothe it... but would it really help her? He looked down at her, feeling her gaze on his face, searching for... something. What was she searching for? He took in her face, the way her eyes were glassy from crying and the puffiness that slowly crept in. The tiredness of these nightmares. The fear of... _him_. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," he said calmly, tone level, voice so deep that it reverberated in her chest.

Rey's eyes leaked more tears as she sobbed softly. "Ben, don't leave me," she whispered, a desperate attempt to keep him where he was. Ben turned his gaze away from her then. "Please stay," she urged as she pulled herself closer to him, practically climbing him from her position in his lap. She held his face, turning his head back to look at her. She held both sides of his face in her hands, eyes frantically scanning his for some inkling as to what he was about to do. "Ben, please-"

He sighed then. "Rey, if you're so terrified of me... maybe I should go for a while."

It wasn't a harsh sentence that he'd just uttered, but somehow it cut her to her core. He was going to leave. She didn't know when she'd see him again. He wanted to go. He didn't want to stay. She began to panic, her breath picking up as she desperately held onto his face. She felt a whole other wave of sadness wash over her, desperate to bubble over as she fought the urge to cry loudly. She bit her lip as she resigned herself to let him go. If she were in her right mind, she would be able to see that this pained him, too. That he really wanted to stay. That he broke a piece of himself when he told her that he should go. She wasn't doing anything to stop him either. It showed him that maybe she did need time to process everything, just like he did. He knew that Rey wasn't really the type to beg, so he wasn't expecting that, but something in him hoped that... maybe she would? He mentally berated himself. He was so selfish. She was having a mental crisis and all he could think about was that he wanted her to beg him to stay with her. His mind fought with him. She had begged him to stay. She didn't want him to leave. A new wave of regret instantly fell over him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and pressed his lips against hers, desperate for this closeness that they shared..

Rey sobbed into the kiss as she held onto him for dear life. Her hand fisted in his hair and he hissed from the pain. She realized she was too rough and released his hair abruptly, pulling away from the kiss for a moment with a blush on her cheeks as she mumbled a quick, soft "Sorry." Ben gave her a sad smile. They sat there in silence for a while, neither wanting to move or speak. The question still hung in the air: is he leaving?

Ben reached out and gently touched her face. "I don't want to go..." he admitted softly.

Her eyes shot to his. "Then don't."

He smiled sadly. "Maybe with this being so new... you need to work out some of your fears." It was logical, she knew, but that would result in him giving her space that she didn't want. Being alone with her thoughts was a dangerous thing for her. She knew she needed to, but she really dreaded it. What if she couldn't come back from the rabbit hole? What if he went down the rabbit hole and didn't come back? There were too many what if's for her liking. She resented it. Then she thought that maybe he was suggesting it so he could have some time to sift through everything. "Rey, I love you. I'm not abandoning you. I'm here until you get tired of me," he promised as he chastely kissed her forehead, a delicate and loving gesture that made her heart ache for him all the more. "I want you to think about why you had the nightmare. There's some fear that you have. A fear that I can't fix."

She knew it was true. Gosh, why did he have to be telling the truth right now? Why was it so painfully obvious? "I don't want to be alone, Ben," she whispered to him.

Ben's eyes shone with the same intensity he possessed hours ago when he told her he loved her. "You're not alone."

Rey felt his hands on her back again, holding her close, but not breaking eye contact. "Neither are you."

He smiled at her then. "I'll give you my number. You can text or call me when you're having a hard time. Just a couple of days. Ok?"

Her mind raced. Her breath hitched. Her chest hurt. Her head hurt. Her mind was painfully aware of the games it would play on her in the matter of a couple of days. "Will I still see you at work?" Ben gave her a small sad smile. That was a no. She sighed softly and nodded. "Promise me..." She looked at him again. "Promise me you won't disappear."

It was Ben's turn to be shocked. His eyes widened, mouth parted as he considered her request. "Rey... I'm not leaving you. I'm not disappearing. Sweetheart, I promise you." Rey's eyes sparkled when he called her that. The intensity in his eyes was enough to convince her that he was telling her the truth. She gave him a small smile, despite her pain of being away from him soon. "I love you," he whispered as he kissed her with everything he had. It was a dizzying kiss. One that made her forget everything. Her lungs burned with the need to breathe, but her mind didn't want to disconnect quite yet. She found herself sighing in contentment as his hand came to rest at the back of her neck, forcing her to tilt her head back slightly so he could deepen the kiss. She wound her arms around his neck tightly, pressing as much as she could against him, memorizing his warmth and the way his body felt against hers. She'd swear she was already going through withdrawal. She lightly tugged at his hair, earning her a soft growl from the man that captured her heart in such a short time. She giggled into the kiss as he nipped her lip, silently warning her to watch it.

When they pulled away, their foreheads met as they panted for air. "Two days," he breathed.

"Two days," she confirmed.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Two freaking days. It had only been a half a day and already she was having issues. She was having an anxiety attack and holed herself up in her room, pacing nervously as she tried to settle her thoughts. Her phone buzzed on her nightstand and she ran to it. _"It's Ben. Go make some tea."_ She smiled softly at that. He knew her so well and it wasn't even the least bit bothersome. As promised, she had his number, which she saved into her phone quickly. She texted him back an _"Ok"_ and went downstairs to make herself some tea to calm herself. She drummed her fingers on the counter impatiently as the maker spit out her hot water. She shoved a tea bag in her cup and quickly returned to her room, not once saying anything to Luke, who just stared at her with that knowing gaze. She shut her bedroom door and curled up on the side of the bed he'd slept on. It was well past 9pm and she should have been in bed, sleeping, but she was scared to sleep. Well, scared and bothered.

She'd had such a terrible dream. It kept replaying in her head, over and over again. Why was Ben labeled as the attacker? Why did she fear that he would do that to her? She stared at the hot beverage in her hands, watching the steam rise without a care. Her knees were pulled up to her chest as she laid against the headboard in a daze. She went back to his departing words when he'd left earlier. He'd told her that if she had any questions for him, anything at all, write them down, and when he returned in two days' time, they would discuss them. It wasn't something to say over text message, she knew, which was why she didn't hesitate to accept his terms. Still...

She glanced at her phone with a small frown. His smell engulfed her as she set the cup down on her bedside table and slid down the pillows where he lay earlier. She curled into it as she drifted off to sleep, one question hanging on her mind: Would Ben turn on her one day?

***** (Please skip if this bothers you... read A/N)**

_Her body flew to the ground, her forehead knocking on the pavement below her. The assailant glowered down at her, a carnal lust in his eyes as she snatched her to him by her hair. He wreaked of alcohol and cigarettes. His voice was gritty as he cooed such disgusting things in her ear, of what he was going to do to her as his hand wandered down her body, plucking her button out of the way on her pants. She squirmed in his hold, flailing and kicking as she tried to get away with all she had. Her breathing was ragged, her head fuzzy from the knock to her head, and her scalp was on fire as he held her off the ground by her hair. Everything in her was screaming to run, to do something to get him off of her and away from her. She found herself thinking Ben's name over and over again, like a mantra, that was supposed to summon him to her when she needed him the most._

_And then she fell to the ground as the man had just started to slip inside of her underwear. She fell to the ground and she instantly tried to scurry away. She heard sounds of pain and fists colliding with faces and teeth knocking together as she tried to get away. Tears flooded down her cheeks as she tried to get to her feet to run away. She tripped a few times in her desperate attempt to get up and run, skinning her knees none too gracefully. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she cried out, "No!" as she tried to get away. She was up on her feet in an instant, but then as she tried to run, she felt her back being pressed against a strong chest, hands wrapped around her middle. She squirmed and fought and wriggled against her assailant, gasping and crying for him to release her and let her go._

_"It's ok, Rey. You're safe." His voice was soft. Pleasant. Filled her with relief as it started to remove the fear. She stopped flailing as she continued to whimper and cry as he held her tight against him. Safe. Her mind started whirling again. She wasn't safe. She was far from safe. This was just another lie. She squirmed again, kicking and squirming against him, crying and whimpering louder, her whole body desperate to get away. "Rey... Rey... calm down," he whispered again. All the while, she had been mumbling to be let go and for him not to touch her. It started again, a soft plea for him to let her go. _

_She felt a hand on her middle start to slide up her body towards her chest, his mouth close to her ear. "It's Ben," he whispered to her as his hand found her chest and gave it a massaging grope._

_"No! Stop!" she cried as she continued to thrash against him. She'd landed a kick to his knee, making him drop her with a grunt. She fell to the ground and turned to face him as she started to back herself up on the ground. She saw the anger and rage shine in his dark eyes as he raised his hand to prepare to hit her. "Ben!" she called as her hands went around her face to shield it from the attack. The hit never came. When she looked at him again, he had gotten onto his knees in front of her, his large hand pushing her arms, in effect, pushing her to her back on the cold hard ground. His knee was between her legs, nudging them apart as he leaned forward and bit her neck. "Ben, please!" she called, trying to get him off of her. She curled herself into a fetal position on her side as she cried in desperation. She saw the want in his eyes. The possessive glint. The anger that she was denying him. _

_She felt his hand on her arm then. It was gentle. "Rey, sweetheart... you're safe. I won't hurt you." His words were sweet, but his face said differently. His eyes were cold and lustful. He wanted to dominate her. He wanted to take her. Right here. Right now. She wasn't ready for that. She'd just been attacked and now he wanted to claim her as his so everyone would know that he was the one to deflower her; not some sleazeball. She didn't feel safe at all. He was advancing._

_"LIAR!" she screamed at him as she flung her hand back at him, colliding with his face and earning a grunt in response. She was far from safe. She didn't feel safe. Not in the least. She stared up at him, eyes full of the betrayal he was making her feel. Half of her body was twisted into a half back, half side position as she stared up at him. He held her hand then. He kissed the back of her hand with such tender affection. She doubted it was real. It couldn't be. He had just tried to... was trying to rape her. She saw his eyes return to normal as he reached forward and put a hand on the ground by her head, towering over her. He leaned down and kissed away her tears. "Ben... don't..." she whispered to him. He pulled away and the darkness was there again, a silent victory that he'd fooled her and she let him get this close. The battle was won. She saw it in his eyes. He was gone again. "Don't leave me, Ben," she whispered as her free hand reached for his cheek, holding it softly and affectionately. He was lost to her now. She could see the good Ben retreating in the recesses of this man's carnal desire. "Don't leave me," she begged. He was her last hope. Her last chance at normalcy. And now he'd turned on her, too._

_His grin grew sickeningly evil then. "Never." And her clothes were off._

**_**** (end of bad stuff)_**

Rey woke with a start, a scream tearing from her lips as she shot upright in bed, panting desperately as tears fell from her eyes. She quivered in her bed, shaking and crying loudly as she let the raw emotion pour out of her. That dream again. Why? Why was Ben like that? Why did she imagine him like that? It hurt her so much to know that she had imagined that Ben. The same loving, kind Ben that was there for her to help her through all of her issues. He had dealt gently with her. Except at the woods. Her eyes widened in realization at that. It was that side of him that scared her and made her subconscious fear him. He was like night and day. Anytime she thought of him going down his own rabbit hole of misery... that dark glint in his eye... the detached attitude... it scared her. Her hand covered her mouth in fear. She felt so vulnerable. She needed him.

_No!_

She looked at her phone on her bedside table. It shone with the time: 1:37am. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked down at herself. She then noticed that there was blood dripping between her legs on her bedsheets. Puzzled, she felt it and noticed that it was warm. She turned on the light and her eyes stung at the intrusion. She palmed her eye and hissed in pain. Her head was throbbing. The pain seared through her face. Wet. Warm. She cursed under her breath as she wandered into the bathroom and noticed she'd split her forehead on the nightstand. She sighed and cleaned herself up, quietly resenting that Ben wasn't here. If he were here, she wouldn't have hit her head. If he were here...

_He would violate you like in your dream._

She gasped and dropped the ointment. What was that? Ben wouldn't... Her reflection showed her how scared she was at that thought. The mere thought alone that she was so upset about the possibility-

Not a possibility! Ben wouldn't do that!

Her mind was warring against itself. She clutched onto the counter and hung her head, trying to calm her nerves. He hadn't done that. He hadn't done anything of the sort that screamed that she was in danger of being raped. He hadn't done anything. Screw the red flags! She wanted to erase them from her mind! He was good to her! He was good _to_ her! He'd never done anything to make her question him! Never!

_Except grab you without your permission._ That was...

_And pin you against a tree._

Rey grew angrier and angrier at herself. Where were these doubts coming from? Why now? If her mind was so against her love for Ben, then why not speak up sooner? Why was her mind trying to destroy her trust for him when all he's ever done was help her through her issues?

_No man is good for you._

She punched her mirror then, cracking it all the way up, but not shattering it. "You're wrong!" she hissed at her mind. She knew this would happen. Without Ben here, she was falling apart. She felt feelings of abandonment start to wash over her. She tried to cling to the fact that he said he loved her. She felt it in the way he held her and the way he gingerly kissed her. The way he held back in intensity so he wouldn't scare her off. She appreciated his efforts to go slow with her.

_That's only going to last for so long before he decides he's had enough._

She shook her head, attempting to clear her thoughts of the negativity. She glared at her reflection. He loves her. He cares for her. He wouldn't disrespect her boundaries. He was there. He'd laid in bed with her, and she knew she was a mover, and he didn't do anything to her. He kept it PG. So then why was she so hesitant to fully trust him!?

_Because you know what he's capable of, just like all the others._

Tears forced their way out of her eyes and down her face in rivers. Everyone was capable of hurting someone. Everyone. Ben Solo was no different. He wouldn't hurt her... would he? Sure, he got angry. He had fits of anger, temper tantrums if you will, but he had never hit her. He'd grabbed her arms, but when she told him he was hurting her, he stopped. As if lightning ran through his body, he stopped. He was horrified that he'd hurt her.

_What if he doesn't stop next time?_


	11. Bereft

**A/N: Wow... long chapter last time. Couldn't stop my fingers from spilling out so much lol In this context that I'm using "bereft" it means missing or lacking. Anyway, enjoy the next installment!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 11: Bereft_

* * *

9am and she hadn't gone back to sleep. Once she woke up, she was up and alone with her thoughts. She was tearing herself apart from the inside out. She wasn't hungry. She was tired. She wasn't... anything. She was just... there. No Ben. No Luke. Nothing. She was quietly sifting through her memories and fears. She knew she needed to. It would help her trust Ben. It would help her overcome her sadness and hesitation, she knew, but it was just beyond difficult. The more she delved into her memories, the more she felt herself ripping apart, left with nothing. Like a part of her was missing. She was left bereft after her own self-analysis.

And she was at it again. This time, she was tackling memories of being at Plutt's. She was young. She was eager to be accepted. She was still distraught over her parents not returning. She had questions that no one could answer. She was too young to accept that her parents were dead, never to return. No one explained it to her. They just said her parents weren't coming back and that she was going to live somewhere else because she couldn't take care of herself. A frown marred her beautiful features as she stayed in bed, curled around herself, hugging her knees as she glared straight ahead. Luke had knocked at the door, beckoning her for breakfast, but she'd ignored him. Her phone had gone off, but she refused to answer it. She needed to not get distracted.

Down her rabbit hole she went.

Plutt brought men over. They looked at her in a way that they shouldn't look at a little girl. She curled her knees closer to her as she tackled the uncomfortable memory. They had the same look in their eyes. It was so clear, so vivid, as if just yesterday. She'd long discovered that her nightmare about Ben was a compilation of all the elements she'd faced throughout her life, transposed onto him. The look of carnal desire. The lust. The disgusting, filthy way that they appreciated her body. She shivered as she buried her face in her knees. Ben didn't look at her like that, she reminded herself.

_But he could, one day._

She shook her head. "No," she whispered, voice ragged from lack of sleep and mental fatigue. She was maintaining a positive view of Ben, despite her mind charging him with such blasphemy. She closed her eyes as she put a side-by-side of the men at Plutt's next to Ben. She analyzed the way they considered her small childish form. Lustful, full of want. Full of the want and need to violate her innocence. The forceful grab as they tried to wrench her back to them to do what they would with her. She'd gotten away and ran, never to look back. All she could hear was their wicked laughter at her retreating form.

But Ben... he'd looked at her carefully. Shyly. Like he wanted to appreciate her, but not in a disgusting way. That he held her in such a higher form of regard. That she was beautiful to him. He'd even told her that. That he couldn't think of violating her in a way that was so disgraceful. She felt her lips curl in a loving, affectionate smile as she considered that. No, Ben looked at her with high regard. Like she was a queen. A beautiful queen that he wanted to protect, like a knight in shining armor. Well, dark armor. Shining wasn't his thing. She gave an airy laugh at that.

_Even the chivalrous fall._

Her eyes grew hard again. He had never done anything to violate her. He hadn't touched her inappropriately. He was careful to avoid doing things like that to her. She knew he wasn't repulsed by her, but that he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. He considered her. He considered every move he made before he made it. Except for reaching out to take her wrist on an impulse.

_What else would he do on impulse?_

Not that. Not Ben. Ben wouldn't just take her that way. Everything he did was methodical when it came to her. He had respect for her. He had honor for her. He was so sweet and gentle. He even kissed her delicately that first time. He told her he was going to, but asked her permission anyway after voicing that he wanted to. And when she tried to brace herself for whatever was going to happen, he made her look at him. He made her focus on him so she wouldn't go off into the darkness alone. He wanted her to trust him. Those men... they wouldn't have cared. They would have taken what they wanted, regardless if she wanted it, too, or not. Ben... Ben cared.

She was surprised when there were no counter-arguments in her head. A small smile came to her. She'd gotten rid of that one. Ben wasn't a pervert. He wasn't a rapist. He wasn't an abuser. Angry, maybe, but not an abuser. He respected her and loved her enough to care about what she wanted, even if it hurt him. Realizing that she overcame that fear of the way she was looked at, she sighed with relief. She leaned her head back against the headboard, her eyes closed, wisps of hair sticking out and tickling her cheek, reminding her of Ben's feather light touch.

_Bzzz!_

Her eyes opened and she looked down at her buzzing phone. Another text. She picked it up, feeling like she could reward herself after her small victory. She looked at her messages.

_From: Luke_

_1:38am Are you all right? You didn't answer your door._

_8:55am Breakfast is ready. Your favorite. Bacon and pancakes. Please eat something._

She smiled at her overly concerned guardian. He wasn't overly concerned. He was concerned enough.

_9:27am Ben called. He wants you to drink some tea and eat something._

_9:35am I made some tea. It's in the fridge for you when you're ready. Please don't deprive yourself._

Rey wiped away a tear at his concern. He was like a father to her. He didn't violate her privacy though, which she greatly appreciated. He respected her enough to not barge in. She scrolled through more messages.

_From: Ben_

_Missed call 1:45am_

_2:15am Luke said you screamed. Please call me when you're ready._

_Missed call 2:27am_

_2:30am I know you're not sleeping_

_2:45am Please let me know you're ok, Rey..._

A sweet smile formed on her lips. She could hear the panic in his voice already. She hadn't meant to worry him. Or Luke. She just... she needed time. She had to sift through all the memories and overcome her demons. It was difficult for her. Everyone knew it would be. She didn't want to do it alone, but she knew she had to. No one could do it for her. They could be her support network when it got to be too much, and it was starting to make it there, but they couldn't rip the insecurities out of her mind. She had to overcome them herself.

_2:58am I love you, Rey. I'm here when you need me, sweetheart _

She let out another airy laugh, her weak voice full of mirth. "Ben..." she whispered as she held her phone close to her heart, leaning her head back against the headboard in contentment. Her phone buzzed again. She looked at it slowly.

_Missed call 9:00am_

_9:15am Eat something, love_

_9:17am Luke said you aren't eating. Please don't hole yourself up there alone. _

_9:20am At least drink some tea or something_

She giggled at the concern finding its way through the text messages. Her heart skipped a beat at his loving concern for her. She loved him so much.

_9:37am Luke did all the work for you. Go get some tea, love. I know you're good at scavenging_

_9:40am Any progress?_

She smiled at his last message. Even with his concern, he knew what she was trying to accomplish. She started to type out a message back to him, pausing to consider her words carefully. She reread it and smiled before sending it and putting it on her table. Her message: _"I had another nightmare last night. The same one. I'm working through it. Made a little victory. A few more to go. I'll be ready for you when you come back. I love you, Ben"_

She wrenched herself from bed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen, taking her cup from last night with her. She set it in the sink gently and went to the fridge to get some tea that Luke had made her. On the jug was a note: _Rey, if this isn't gone by the end of today, I'm calling Ben over and he's going to yank you from your hermit hole._ She laughed softly and poured herself some tea before she saw another note on the counter. _"Rey, take some fruit to your room and eat it. Ben will be angry if you don't eat what he brought you._ Her cheeks burned at that when she saw bananas, oranges and apples sitting in a bamboo bowl. There was a rose sticking out of the center, too. She smiled softly at it, lifting the bowl and taking it to her room. She was kind of hungry... and thirsty...

When she'd made it back to her room, she saw her sheets had been changed, another note lying on her fresh sheets on top of some folded clothes. Those weren't hers... She walked over to it after closing her door and picked up the note. There was a sticky note stuck to an envelope. She recognized the sticky note as Luke's scribbly handwriting, but the envelope...? She read the sticky note: _A gift from Ben._ She quirked a brow, setting the bowl of fruit down on her nightstand as well as her cup. She sat at the edge of the bed and lifted the clothes and envelope. She peeled Luke's note off and saw the most beautiful script she'd ever seen. Her name. She smiled softly as she opened the envelope. There were two sheets of paper in it. The first one on top read:

_Rey,_

_I'll expect this back when I come back. I also suspect you'll look far better in it than I ever will. Thinking of you, my Rey of sunshine. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon, love. Until then, you're doing a fine job of overcoming your fears, I just know it. Hold your head high; the light looks far better on you than the darkness._

_With all my love,_

_Ben_

She smiled softly at his short, but genuinely sweet letter. She looked down at his shirt that he left her. She lifted it and smelled his scent instantly. With a smile, she went to take a shower, shirt in hand with a pair of fresh undergarments. After a few moments, she emerged with a sigh, drying her hair with her fluffy grey towel, wearing his large black shirt as it hung off her shoulders and reached down to her mid thigh. She hadn't realized how big he was in comparison to her. But then again, he was muscular, so that added a shirt size, she supposed. She plopped back into bed and yawned as she felt tired all of a sudden. She curled up on his side and closed her eyes then, falling into a sleep she deserved after last night.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

She awoke with a start, panicking as her chest struggled to find the air she so desperately needed. Her hand flew to her forehead, as if that would help steady her racing mind. The same nightmare. But... something was different. A piece of her nightmare was missing. She struggled to think back on what was missing. When she replayed it quickly in her mind, she realized that the look Ben had been giving her before, the one of carnal lust and anger... was gone. Her brows pulled together, not quite understanding. His face was a blur. She couldn't see his face. She scanned the room silently, his scent finding its way in her nostrils as she breathed deep to calm herself. Her eyes fluttered closed as she sighed. She was grateful that she didn't see him looking at her that way. She knew she should have been scared, but... her nightmare was slightly less terrifying this time. Like that part of her memory had been wiped after she came to the conclusion that Ben would never look at her that way.

She found herself going down her hole again as she thought of more things to help her overcome her nightmare of Ben. Next on the agenda to tackle, since it was so fresh, was the abuse. Her ex had raised his hand at her several times. Plutt had done the same. The men that Plutt brought in also raised their hand at her. It was a fear. She'd been slapped and beaten on more than one occasion. Plutt had beaten her with the wires and left a scar on her shoulder and across her back. Her ex had slapped her and backhanded her and punched her on so many different occasions. Plutt's guys had hit her when she kicked them to get away. She was scared of being hit by Ben, too.

_He's capable of it._

She frowned. Was he? Sure, anyone was capable of hitting someone else. But Ben hadn't raised a hand to her.

_He grabbed you none too kindly by the tree._

He was battling his own demons. He had issues he was trying to work past. He'd let her go when she had told him he was hurting her. He knew he hurt her and he let her go; he didn't continue it. The others were willfully hurting her. They knew they hurt her, but they continued anyway.

_Ben's no different, given the right circumstances._

No. She came at him, fists flying, because she was angry that he presumed to know her in the field. All he'd done was fend her off. He never raised his hand in retaliation to her. He'd never once tried to strike her. If he had, it would have been game over for her. But he didn't.

_How do you know it won't be that way next time?_

She didn't. But she had faith in him. He had already proven to resist his angry tendencies before. She'd swung at him. She'd told him about her nightmare, pretty much accusing him and lumping into the same category as the other filth she'd had dealings with before. But he took it. He never once hurt her. He didn't bite back at her. He didn't tell her she deserved it. He did nothing. He just took it. No, Ben wouldn't raise his hand at her.

_He grabbed you twice, unwarranted._

She sighed at her thoughts. He'd grabbed her the first time without knowing her history and because he said he wanted to keep talking to her. He'd grabbed her the second time because he was in a dark place. She attacked him, for frick's sake! He never once swung back at her. He could have easily overpowered her, but he didn't. He let her do her thing. He let her get it out. He turned it into something playful for him so he wouldn't be tempted to hit her back. His mind was in the right place. He doesn't have abusive inclinations. If he did, they would have shown through by now. He has an anger problem.

_Which could lead to an abuse problem._

She couldn't argue with that. She knew it could. But as she looked at how Ben was acting now, as opposed to the other guys she'd dealt with... Ben was harmless. Her ex had beaten her because she refused to sleep with him. He was also on drugs. Ben didn't do drugs. He didn't even drink, she didn't think. Plutt's guys were abusive because they were angry she denied them, too. She half-wondered how Ben would react if she were to reject his advances, too. Tossing that away as unfair to get the guy riled up and then shut him down, she moved on. She had no doubt that he would yield if she asked him to. He had given her the option to be kissed. He had given her the option to hold his hand. To be embraced. He respected her proximity in the beginning. Just as he keeps it PG now when they lay together. There's nothing dirty or dishonorable about it. It's all completely innocent.

_How much longer do you think that will last?_

Rey frowned. He wouldn't violate her.

_What makes you so sure?_

He hadn't done anything to hint that he was going to. He realized being so close to her made her uncomfortable in the beginning and he backed off, even staying on the opposite side of the room. He moved from under the hood when he asked for help, giving her space to work. He handed everything to her so their hands didn't touch. He wouldn't. There wasn't enough evidence against him to make her think otherwise.

The voice was silent again. She smiled softly. Another issue resolved. She leaned over and grabbed an apple, looking at it for a moment before taking a bite. She smiled at the taste and sighed in contentment. She glanced over at the rose he'd left her and smiled for a moment, reaching over to pluck it from the bowl. She smelled it quietly, leaving it to rest on her shoulder as she grabbed her phone next. She turned it to selfie mode and held it above her as she bit the apple in her mouth, the rose poking through under her chin. Her eyes looked up at the camera, relaying all the love she had for Ben, and of course showing him that she was wearing his shirt. She made sure to keep it appropriate though. She didn't need to be sending him any sort of dirty pictures that would make his mind run wild. She snapped the picture and looked at it to consider it. No legs showing, all PG. Works for her. She typed out a short message: _Thank you for my gifts, Ben._ She sent the picture and message, sighing in content as she finished her apple and sipped her tea.

Her phone buzzed shortly after she'd slipped into a state of contentment. She looked at the time on her phone. 3:59pm. She opened it to see a message from Ben. She smiled softly.

_I knew you would wear it better. Thank you for eating something, love._

She smiled softly. Then her phone vibrated again and her eyes widened, a blush on her cheeks. He'd sent her a picture. She just stared at it. He was shirtless, hair wet, towel around his neck. She could tell he got decent before he snapped it. There were pants in the picture from the mirror behind him. He smirked at the camera to her and it lit her heart on fire. That smile. Those lips she were so fond of. He was a dream. He was perfect. His strong chest was bared to her as it had been before he left. She smiled affectionately at the picture. She missed him so much. It had only been a day. But it felt like forever. She set the picture as her wallpaper and smiled warmly. She felt content now that she had his picture to look at when she got sad. Another vibration. She looked at the message and laughed softly.

_Don't miss me too much._

She sent a kissy emoji face and closed her phone with a sigh of content. She felt empty without him here. Like a part of her was missing. Like her strength was meager while he was away. When he was with her, she felt she could tame a lion and conquer the world. But without him... she felt like she couldn't fight her way out of a wet paper bag with scissors. There was a part of her missing. A part she yearned to get back. She didn't feel whole. Her hand went over her heart as she lifted the rose and examined it. The deepest, darkest red. Soft, velvety petals. She pressed it to her lips, imagining it was Ben. The sweet smell was the only thing off from it being Ben. That and warmth. And... Ben. She sighed, pulling it away from her lips and considering it again. So dark, yet so beautiful. She knew what red roses signified. She knew the whole thing about it. Love. It was so cliche. But it was still sweet. And it was from him, which made it better. He could hand her a shoe string and some confetti and she would probably feel like she just won the lottery. She laughed at that. On second thought... that would be ridiculous. Her mind started to drift then.

She was hesitant to sleep again, but she knew she needed to. She was so tired. Too much thinking. She had to work tomorrow, so this was the best time for her to do some thinking. She needed to resolve as much as she could because she wouldn't have time to be distracted with it tomorrow during work. At least it was only a half day. Luke understood her situation and granted her a half day, calling it a mental health break. She snorted at that. Some break. With any luck, she'd make it out of this without breaking herself. With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, she curled into the blankets again. Round three.


	12. Better

**A/N: Little victories, guys. Take pride in the little victories!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 12: Better_

* * *

She shot up in bed, gasping as she had the other two times. But it wasn't as bad this time. She didn't feel the need to scream. She didn't feel the need to call him in a panic. She felt like she just got jump-scared by a stupid horror movie. She sighed though. Her dream had gotten weird. Like parts of it were missing. First, Ben's face was gone. Second, it wasn't him that was violating her. It was her ex. She tilted her head at that. Ben had been completely replaced with him. It wasn't a memory. It was just a nightmare that didn't make any sense. She rubbed her temples, willing away a headache as she tried to figure out the meaning of this dream this time. Why her ex? Was he the one that was plaguing her the most? Well, it had to have been the answer because in all honesty, she trusted him the most before she met Ben. He was the ultimate betrayal for her. It made sense that he would be the one that was the most difficult to get rid of.

_Will you ever get rid of him?_

She wasn't sure. Ben was here now. Ben was nothing like him. Ben was in a whole other category than her ex. So then... why was she having an issue and comparing him with Ben?

_Fear of having your trust broken again._

Her eyes hardened at that. It was true. She never let anyone close to her. It took Luke years to get close to her. But Ben had gotten so close so fast. She feared it was a mistake. Was it? She paused. When she reflected back on all they've talked about and how he'd reacted to her... no. She needed company. She loved him. He put up with her. He put up with her stupid little idiosyncrasies. She put up with his fits. She couldn't just throw people to the wayside because of a red flag.

_It wasn't just one._

She frowned again. Ben didn't have many red flags. He had a temper, which she'd only see flare once since knowing him. Other than that... she couldn't think of any other red flags. Nothing plastered on his forehead that said to stay away. He was fine. And even then the red flag that he did have was slowly fading away. It would take time. But he was doing well, given the circumstances and history he had. She thought so, at least.

_He'll break your trust, just like all the others._

What others?

Silence. Her ex was the only one that had her trust to break. She didn't trust Plutt. Or his men. Her ex was the only one she really trusted. And now that she looked back on it, it was folly to trust him to begin with. He didn't scream trustworthy. She chalked it up to being desperate for companionship, a mistake that now haunted her.

_How do you know you aren't making the same mistake with_ Ben?

A legitimate question. He hadn't done anything to betray her trust...

_Not yet._

She let out a frustrated sigh. It had been a month. He showed no signs of being untrustworthy. Quite the opposite actually. She'd told him things she didn't want to tell Luke. She'd told him her dreams. Her recognized failures. Her fears. She curled into herself, bringing her knees to her chest then as she rested her cheek on her knee. Her eyes were fixated on the rose on her bedside table. Her thoughts went to Ben. How could she trust him so easily? What was it about him? Was it because they shared a common trust issue? Was it because they were all the other had? That wasn't true. She had Luke. He did, too, if he allowed it. They had someone besides each other. Why was it so easy with Ben? It worried her. She wondered if she would follow him into a burning building if he asked her to do it. Her trust wasn't misguided, was it? Was it really ok to trust him so fully? Wasn't she supposed to hold back? Even just a little?

_Is he holding back?_

Her brows creased then. She didn't know. How much did he trust her? How little? She looked at her phone. 12:47am. It was too late to call him. He needed to sleep, too. She wanted to ask him how much he trusted her. Why he trusted her. What was the one thing that made him trust her? She looked at the notebook on her bedside table. He did say to write down questions for him...

She reached for it and wrote down her questions. She reread it over and over again, wondering the same. _"What made you trust me? Why do you trust me?"_ Simple words on paper; loaded in the mind. She needed an answer. Maybe if she knew what made him trust her, she could figure out what made her trust him. Easy enough, right? Maybe? Probably not. Of course not. It was never as easy as it was on paper. On paper, it was 2+2, but being asked, it was like coming up with the scientific formula for the purpose of life.

She thought more about it. Thinking back to when they first met, what made her trust him? Her eyes drifted shut as she tried to think back to when they met. He'd come in, looking to have his car fixed. A simple business transaction he was skeptical to take. He'd reached out to her. Grabbed her. Tried to stop her from leaving. Her eyes opened, a pensive look on her face. He had frozen when she yelled at him not to touch her. He looked horrified. That he was upset that he had done some sort of damage to her. His face was burned into her memory. He seemed, at that moment, to really mind himself around her. The fact that he had hurt her... was enough to make him reconsider, right then and there, how he treated her. Was it pity? No... it was something deeper than that. He sought to understand her. He sought to know her. He... cared. Was that it? Was that when she knew she could trust him? Her brows creased again. No. That wasn't it. That couldn't be it. She wouldn't lend her trust so easily just because of an apology. He was no one to her then. Just some angry guy that wanted his car fixed that grabbed her the wrong way. There was no way she lent her trust that easily to him then.

The thought more on it. What was it that made her trust him? She remembered having that nightmare in Luke's office. He had been the one to save her. He had, in her dream, rescued her. She glanced at the floor as her wrist started to tingle. She looked down at it and shook it a bit. She had spent a lot of time thinking about him. Contemplating why she had seen him as her savior. She never really had an answer to that. Why was he so special to her? He'd grabbed her. Nothing more. And yet she was so preoccupied with him that she inserted him into her nightmares. And he had saved her. She bit her bottom lip as she considered that. Had she fallen for him sooner than she thought? She then thought back to when he arrived at the garage again. He'd apologized again. Sincerely apologized. She'd seen it in his eyes. The understanding. The heartfelt sadness he felt for that one action. He had truly, truly wanted to apologize. He didn't need to bring it back up again. He could have let it fall in the past. But instead, he brought it up to her again and apologized. He even kept his distance. Everything he did... revolved around her. The apology. The proximity barrier. The gentleness in his tone, as if he were talking to a scared little bunny. She hugged her knees tighter. He'd respected her. He'd put forth effort to get to know her, to earn her trust. She smiled softly. That was why she trusted him. He tried. He genuinely put forth effort and _tried_ to earn it.

She laughed softly, a heartfelt laugh that made her heart race for the man she'd known for such a short amount of time. She kept thinking it was a month, but when she really thought about it... it was probably closer to two or three months. So much had happened, she realized. She fell back to the memory of his second time at the garage. Tinkering with a stupid part and the spring shot out. The worry he expressed for her well being... there were no words. He had been the reason she was so distracted, which was why the spring flew out, but yet he was so worried about her that he rushed to her side. She was so cruel to him. She thought she could push him away. But he stayed. He even kept his distance when he realized he was making her uncomfortable. He gave her a chance.

And she'd given him one, too. They complimented each other. Right from the beginning. Without any effort, they made up for each other's issues. She smiled softly. He was protective, even at the start. He was so attentive to her. She was just fighting it too much to see it and recognize it for what it was. He was trying to know her. To make her comfortable. To earn her trust. A tear fell from her eye as she felt the love well up inside of her. He already knew her so well. He'd set her coffee in front of her so she wouldn't risk touching him. He'd even called her out about her past and having issues trusting people. He was so perceptive that it hurt. He was so amazing in all the right ways. And he'd turned his attention to her. He focused on her. She was so busy being a snot to him that she failed to notice that he'd wiggled into her heart and earned her trust so easily. He was...

Her phone buzzed, making her jump with a small gasp. She smiled warmly as she picked it up and answered her call. "Ben," she said warmly.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he answered, _"Been a while."_

She snickered softly. "It's been a day," she reminded him.

_"So it has."_ He seemed thoughtful. As if he were choosing his words again.

"Ben?" she whispered gently.

_"Hmm?"_ His voice was airy, as if he were sleepy.

"I love you," she said warmly into the phone.

He was quiet for a moment, and then her door opened, revealing his tall figure in the doorway, phone pressed to his ear as he smiled at her across the room. "I love you, Rey."

She threw the blankets off of her as she ran to him, leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. She kissed him lovingly, clinging to him desperately. He chuckled as he stumbled into the door, knocking it shut behind him. He leaned against it for a moment, holding her under her thighs as she kissed the life out of him. When she pulled away, she giggled and hugged him tight. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, clearly not bothered that he's here early.

He nuzzled her neck with his cheek. "I wanted to check on you."

Rey smiled against his neck, placing a soft kiss to his pulse point. She slid down his body, feet hitting the floor again as she grabbed his large hand and led him to the bed. He kicked off his boots with a smile and sat at the edge of the bed, reclaiming his side. He then considered her carefully, a loving smile on his lips. "It looks better on you in person."

Rey blushed then, realizing she was nowhere close to decent. She pulled at the shirt self-consciously and averted her glance. He laughed softly and looked away as she walked to her dresser to grab pants. She slipped them on quickly and walked back to him, standing in front of him. With a warm smile, she stepped between his legs and wrapped her arms around him, cradling his head against her stomach. His own arms wrapped around her waist, mindful of her body. "Am I interrupting you?" he asked softly against her stomach.

She laughed at that. "No. I've had enough time to think." She held his face and angled it up to look at her. Her face was cautious, yet concerned. "How are you?"

Ben knew what she meant. He wasn't the best when he left. And now that she looked at him, he hadn't been sleeping well either. "Better."

"Are you staying?" Her eyes shone with hope and it showed in her voice, too.

"Would you like me to?" he asked, a small quirk of his lips showing he already knew the answer. He was reaching up for her before she could answer, hand gently holding the back of her neck as he pulled her closer and down to him.

"Never leave," she said as their lips met again. She straddled his lap, taking in his body heat as she tried to get as close to him as possible. She felt his face heat up as she took her place in his lap. He pulled away for a moment and cleared his throat awkwardly. She was about to ask, but she felt it. Her cheeks heated and she got off of his lap quickly, sitting next to him. "Sorry."

He let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Me, too."

She smiled at him and pulled him down onto the bed with her. She took her spot and he took his. She curled into him with a sigh of content, his strong arms wrapping her up tight close to him. "Thank you for coming," she whispered, placing a soft kiss to his collarbone. He just squeezed her close to him in response. They fell asleep in each other's arms, the first restful sleep they've both had in a couple of days, both happier knowing that with the other, everything was just that much better.


	13. Bothered (Ben) Pt1

**A/N: Winding down, guys! I figured I would use this chapter to let you know what Ben was doing while Rey and him were separated. Hope you enjoy the other side of the coin! R&R!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 13: Bothered (Ben)_

_Part 1_

* * *

That goodbye had been the hardest. He hadn't wanted to leave her. He knew she needed time, though, which was what compelled him to finally kiss her goodbye and return to his own apartment. He drove in silence, thoughts silent in his mind as he preferred the blankness over the negativity. He wondered if she would be all right without him. Idiot, of course she would be. She was ok without you before, so why not now?

Because everything had changed.

He sighed as he pulled into his apartment parking spot, snatching the keys from his ignition and pausing to look at the passenger seat. He could see her there. He could see her as if she were really there. Looking out the window and curling next to the door as she had done before. It occurred to him then that she had only ridden in his car with him one time. He'd have to drive her more, he decided. Even if it was just going to the store or something. That seat belonged to her, should she want it. He couldn't imagine another woman sitting in his front seat. He imagined her looking over at him, a wide toothy grin on her face as she whispered his name with all the love she'd always said it with.

He sighed and got out of his car before he would be tempted to go back to her. She needed the two days. She needed that time to work through her fears of him. His thoughts drifted to the nightmare she'd told him of. The way her body had twisted in his hold. The way she'd yelled at him when he was trying to calm her. He climbed the stairs to his apartment, hair bouncing with each step he took. It was still early day. Not even dinner time. He'd just been driving around when he left her at Luke's. Sure, he was only ten minutes away, but he needed to clear his mind, not entirely ready to go back to his empty apartment that held nothing for him except silence and solitude. The same silence and solitude he welcomed before, but now, he found that he hated it.

He unlocked his door and walked in, the silence and darkness of it hitting him full force. He paused in the doorway, eyes scanning his emptiness that he previously found comfort in. This was his space. His haven. His sanctuary. He could be himself here. He closed the door thoughtfully. He wondered what it would be like for Rey to be here with him. Certainly more bright, that's for sure. He had all monochromatic things. Black leather sofa. Grey laminate. White and black kitchen setup, black counters and white cabinets. Black oven. Black fridge. Black microwave. Black, black, and more black. All dreary and no sunshine. Like a cloudy day, Ben's apartment shouted single and brooding.

He tossed his keys onto the table at next to the door and kicked off his boots. It looked the same as it always did. Dimly lit, no signs of life, but immaculate. Ben was rather picky about how clean he left things. Which was odd, when he thought about it, because he was the typical broody angsty person that left things messy, not wanting to find it in themselves to clean it. He scoffed at that.

He walked over to the kitchen and decided to go ahead and get started on dinner as he thought more about everything. She had been so scared of him. He idly stirred the meat in the pan, deciding on some basic tacos, not really having the energy for much else. She'd screamed at him that he was a liar. That she wasn't safe with him. He could calm her down so easily before, but now... She completely distrusted him. He had to wonder what went through her head. He became angry at his own thoughts. She thought him another one of those worthless pieces of trash she'd dealt with before. She'd thought him no different than those stupid horndogs that couldn't keep a leash on themselves.

He tried his best to calm his anger before he tore up his apartment. Sure, he had bought it and did renovations himself, but that didn't mean he wanted to keep fixing things. He sighed as he finished dinner and plated it for himself. He stood at the bar, leaning on his elbow, staring down at his food as if it had offended him. He wasn't really hungry, he realized, but he knew he needed to eat. He couldn't just waste away. He dug in.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

10:00pm. So late, yet so annoying. He'd tried to take a shower to cool his head. He'd tried drinking a beer. He'd tried watching TV. He'd tried exercising. Nothing worked. He couldn't get her out of his head. It was like a bad break up where the ghost of the lost one haunted him at every turn. It was ridiculous. She invaded his every thought, his every action. He wanted her so badly. He wanted her _here_ with him so badly. He didn't even mind not having sex, just that he wanted to be around her. Why had he suggested two days? Why had he suggested to leave at all? This was incredibly stupid! _You're an idiot, Solo!_ What kind of idiot leaves a girl you're crazy about to think about how crazy you are about her? Why had he even thought that was a good idea? He huffed angrily at himself. He needed to calm down. He needed to do something to get his mind off of everything or he'd be tempted to go over her house.

He grabbed his phone and earphones, slipping on a black sleeveless muscle shirt with some black exercise pants and headed out for a run. Yes, a run would clear his head and if he played his music loud enough, he would be able to drown out any sort of competent thought in his head. Good thinking!

He rushed out the door, down his steps, slipping his headphones in his ears, scrolling to his playlist, hitting play and before he knew it, he was off for a nighttime run. He ran hard and fast, breath coming out in short puffs with each step he took, hair bouncing in the wind. The music blared in his ears as he turned a corner. He saw her face in his head. Her agonized face from the nightmare. He hissed as he started to run faster, a scowl on his face as sweat dripped down his masculine features. Had he messed everything up from the get-go when he grabbed her wrist? Had he damaged her beyond any hope by making one stupid move?

It wasn't just one stupid move, he reminded himself. He'd grabbed her in the woods, too. Really grabbed her. He knew he did damage. He knew he hurt her. He didn't stop. He only stopped when she kissed him, bringing him out of his little trance of anger and misery. He slowed then, feeling his lips tingle as if it had just happened. He slowed to a stop and stood in the darkness, bent over himself, hands on his knees as he struggled to get his breath. He realized he was at Luke's house. He frowned to himself. Even when he was trying to clear his head, he had ended up here like some sort of stupid stalker. He growled at himself before turning on his heel and running back to his house. He realized he had just run 3 miles to get to her house. He shook his head as he ran faster, as fast as his body would allow as he tried to get her out of his head.

He thought of every memory from the beginning, attempting to quell the anger that was rising in his mind. He focused on everything right he did. But it all ended with negativity. One statement that plagued him. One thought that made his resolve about her crumble.

_If you did everything right, then she would not be fearful of_ you.

His mind was right. She was scared. He'd seen the way she acted in her dream. He'd seen the way she reacted to him trying to soothe her. He'd heard her explain it to him in detail. Maybe not so vividly as if he saw it himself, but he could infer things from what she did tell him. All he knew was that he had saved her, and then he...

He growled to himself as he pushed himself further, harder, faster. He would never do such a thing to her. He loved her with everything he had. It wasn't love if he did that to her. But it was a very real fear for her. His being in her dream had done that to her. Her reality was that she was scared of him doing that to her, just like all the other scum that had done it before him. She'd told him about Plutt and his men. She'd told him about... what was his name? Jesse? Jessen? Kess? He didn't know, nor did he care. He wasn't special enough to remember. And frankly, if he remembered his name, he would probably try to find the little-

Stop, Solo. Enough. Don't go there. His anger reached his face, his eyes shining hard in the moonlight as he made it back to his apartment complex. He stood at the bottom of his steps, huffing and puffing as the music blared in his ears. He wasn't done yet. He turned away from the steps and continued his run. He wasn't tired enough to go to sleep yet and he'd rather be doing something active than sitting in his cold, dark apartment, left entirely alone with his thoughts.

_"LIAR!"_ His steps faltered as he almost tripped over his own feet. His eyes were wide as her voice resonated in his mind. He looked up at the moon, covered with clouds, but still penetrating enough to shine a bright white light. He huffed and tried to get his breath as he looked around where he was. He ran his hands through his now wet hair and sighed in frustration. _"Don't leave, Ben."_ He closed his eyes and let her voice take over his mind.

_"I love you, Ben."_

_"Ben... please talk to me."_

_"Ben... I'm so sorry."_

_"Please stay."_

_"Ben, don't leave me."_

_"Promise me... Promise me you won't_ disappear."

"Never," he whispered into the night sky. He opened his eyes, feeling his heart ache with how much he had hurt her. How she was probably struggling to come to grips with her own fears and doubts. The fear he felt in his own consciousness of what he would be walking back into in a couple of days. The anxiety of what she would ask him or have decided for herself. Would she want to continue their relationship? Would she want to call it quits, thinking it better for her sanity to just abandon whatever this was before it got too far? His chest tightened at that thought. He would have to let her go. He would have to let her move on, never bothering her again. That thought made him miserable. All of his energy left him as he leaned against a light pole, hands struggling to hold his body up as he fought with that possibility. What if she told him to leave her alone?

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

He walked tiredly back into his apartment, his music still blaring in his ears as he trudged up his stairs and let himself back into his apartment. He shut the door and leaned against it, eyes puffy and red from a brief crying fit that he had to deal with on his walk back. His music was off now and the earphones hung around his neck. What if she told him to leave her alone? That was a very real possibility. He'd fallen so hard and so fast for his little sunshine that he couldn't bear it if something happened to her. If he were told to... disappear from her life.

He shook his head and looked at the clock. It was already 12:59am. He allowed himself a breathy scornful laugh. It had taken him that long to get his thoughts over with. This woman had messed him up, he thought as he trudged to his bedroom, flopping onto his body onto the cold bed, eyes shutting as he sighed sleepily. He would shower later... He drifted off to sleep, the last thing on his mind being his beloved Rey smiling warmly at him.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

His phone started to ring loudly, dragging Ben from his exhaustion. He reached blindly on his bed for his phone, following the sound as he tried to not open his eyes. After a long frustrating moment, he opened his eyes, found it, and answered it, seeing that it was Luke. "What?" he bit out angrily.

_"Rey had another_ nightmare." Ben's clarity came back to him as he sat up quickly in bed. Knowing he had his full attention, his uncle continued. _"I tried knocking on her door, but she didn't answer, but I heard her moving around in there. I just thought you should know... Maybe she'll answer for you. Night, kid."_ Luke hung up and Ben looked down at his phone. 1:43am. He thought about calling her. If she had a nightmare again, would she be in the mood to talk? Would she even answer? If it was about him, she probably wouldn't want to speak with him, would she?

He sighed softly and dialed her number, hesitating just a moment to press the call button. When he did, he lifted it to his ear, hearing the drone of the ring. He waited. And waited. And then her voicemail kicked in. It was so nice to hear her voice. His lips curled into a small smile then. He hung up, not bothering to leave her a voicemail. She didn't check them anyway. He stared at his phone for a moment. He looked at the time again, pressing his tired lips into a thin line. 1:59am. He sighed as he stood and walked to the shower, leaving his phone on his bed. If she were going to call him back, she probably would have already. He stripped out of his workout clothes and hopped in the shower, the hot water falling on his tense muscles. He was so exhausted. His hair fell in his face as he stood under the hot stream of water, sighing as he felt his tense muscles starting to relax.

As he washed, he tried to calm his nerves. Maybe he could be tired enough to go back to sleep? Doubt it. He resigned himself for a long night. He'd gotten barely an hour of sleep. His whole body was screaming at him to go back to sleep, but his mind was racing with thoughts of Rey. He knew her nightmares weren't to be taken lightly. He knew they affected her in a bad sort of way. He knew that if she were left alone... Who knew what she would do or think. He shook that thought out of his head, trying to remain positive. He turned off the shower, having finished with his shower. He walked out and grabbed a black towel, scrubbing his hair and drying off the rest of him. He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked into his bedroom, all but sprinting to his phone on his bed to check it for anymore messages or calls.

Nothing.

He frowned and looked at the time again. 2:14am. He typed out a message to her. _Luke said you screamed. Please call me when you're ready._ He sent it and threw it back on his bed, walking over to his closet to grab some clothes. He settled for a pair of boxers and a pair of sweatpants, remaining shirtless for comfort. He sat at the edge of his bed and flopped onto his back then. His eyes closed of their own will. Sleep was so close to taking over him. He could taste it. He wanted so desperately to fall into a deep sleep...

_But Rey needs you._

His eyes flew open, hand going back to grab his phone desperately. He looked at it for a moment, debating whether he should leave her alone or call her. He settled on waiting for a moment. He wondered what she was doing. How she was doing. Was she ok? He opened her contact again and hovered over the call button, a small battle waging in his mind to call or not. He wanted to hear her voice. To hear if she was all right or tormented. He hoped the former. He pressed the call button and put it back to his ear. He waited. After what seemed like forever, he got her voicemail again. He sighed softly and hung up, dropping the phone on his chest as his hand went to his hair. He stared up at his ceiling. He hoped she was all right. Luke had to have known that calling him and telling him she had a nightmare would have this effect on him. It was only natural that he cared so much for her that he worried himself sick.

He thought about her some more and picked his phone back up again. 2:28am. _I know you're not sleeping._ He sent it after a moment, sleep making his typing sloppy and slow. He wondered if he were annoying her. Was he being too clingy? A thought of her clinging to him filled his mind. He rolled over onto his side, eyes closed as his memory of her body against his took over his senses. He could almost smell her, feel her curling against him. His arm went out to wrap around her, but met nothing. His eyes opened, a small sadness in them. He was going crazy. He rolled over onto his back. He started to think the worst.

What if she went down her rabbit hole again? What if she were avoiding him because she had an even worse nightmare? What if he'd done worse to her in her nightmare? His breath hitched at that. What if... What if she couldn't trust him? Was she more scared of him? Was she crying right now? Was she warring against her negative emotions as she tried to fight against the lack of trust and the love she had for him? Which side was winning?

_You're deluding yourself if you think she'd ever fully love a monster like you._

He closed his eyes, thinking about that thought. Would he ever feel loved? Did Rey just say that to him? Did she mean it? Was he just a comfort for her for now and she'd toss him away later when she'd recovered? He frowned to himself at that. She wasn't fickle like that. And even if she was, he still cared about her. He needed to know if she was all right. He grabbed his phone again and started typing again. _Please let me know you're ok, Rey..._ He sent it with a sigh. He pressed his palm to his forehead, feeling dizzy from sleep deprivation. He closed his eyes, but his mind was racing. Again.

With a frustrated sigh, he tore himself out of bed and walked into his kitchen, ripping his fridge open and grabbing another beer. He flicked the top off of it and took a long sip (more like gulp!) before sighing in frustration. He walked over to his couch and cut the TV on, beer in hand. His dark eyes shone in the darkness, a white light from the TV making them even darker, if at all possible. He flipped through the channels and settled on classical music. He laid his head back on the couch, closing his eyes. The piano played something akin to a waltz and his mind started to relax.

Until he saw Rey holding out her hand to him. Maybe it was a weird kind of awake dream? His eyes stayed closed as his mind fabricated himself in there, taking her hand and dancing with her. Her dress was a ballgown and he wore a tux. They spun and turned around his mind, a small smile coming to his face. As the song came to a close, he whispered he loved her.

_"LIAR!"_ His eyes shot open, body jerking forward from his reclined position, beer almost landing on the floor. He breathed harshly, hand going to his forehead in a silent plea for relief. He looked at the time on the TV. 2:55am. He stood from his couch and walked back to his room. He grabbed his phone off the bed, looking at it with a frown. Still nothing. He typed out another message with one hand, swigging his beer with the other. _I love you, Rey. I'm here when you need me, sweetheart._ He sent it as he sat back down on the couch, letting the classical music fill his ears again. He finished his beer, setting it on the table as he propped his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. He leaned his head back with a sigh, hoping sleep would take him soon. And it did.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

He awoke the next morning to his morning alarm. 8:30am and Ben was ready to wake up again. Not really. He sat up and sighed as he scrubbed his hands over his face. He felt the stubble and frowned. Time to shave again... He stood and held his head as it throbbed under his hand. He silently cursed as he wandered into the bathroom, taking care of his business, washing his hands and reaching in the medicine cabinet for some Tylenol. He ran the sink, dipped his head under it and got some water before swallowing the Tylenol for his aching head. He wasn't sure if he'd been dehydrated or if it was the beer that did it to him, but he was feeling miserable. He walked into the kitchen and started up some coffee, eyes still refusing to stay open as he nodded off, leaning against the counter. He caught himself and sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his face again. He looked at a phone call again and frowned when he saw Luke's name. He answered with a gruff, "How is she?"

Luke sighed on the other end. _"She's not eating... I knocked on her door again, but I didn't get an answer. She locked her door and won't come out. I sent her a text to let her know breakfast was ready. Even made her favorite, but I got nothing."_

Ben frowned as Luke went on about Rey's stubbornness. Then it hit him. "What's her favorite, out of curiosity?"

Luke snickered at Ben. So worried and yet he still wanted to learn more. _"Bacon and pancakes."_

"Noted... Ok. I'll call her..." he said as he poured himself some coffee and hung up on his uncle. Not disrespectfully or anything, but Luke knew. He dialed Rey's number silently. It was 9:00am. She should be awake by now, he thought. Unless she had the same night he had. Voicemail again. He sighed and shook his head at that woman. He sipped his coffee thoughtfully. His thoughts roamed to what he would be walking into tomorrow.

Tomorrow? He was supposed to give her a couple of days. How long had it been? He looked at his phone. He left yesterday... He shouldn't be back tomorrow. Today would technically be the first day. He groaned as his hands went to his face. He was a freaking wreck without her. What kind of life was this? He was working himself up so hard for this woman, and yet, there was still the possibility that she would tell him to just drop off her radar. His hands slid down his face, tugging the bottoms of his eyes with him in an outward show of aggravation and desperation. He sighed as his hands dropped, reclaiming his coffee in silence. Fine. He just had to... get his mind off of her. That's right. He would go get some food in his house. Yeah, that was a good idea. And maybe a gift for her... and stop by Luke's... and-

Stop! He groaned and shook his head. He was hopeless. He lifted his cell again, texting out a another message to her. _Eat something, love._ He sent it and a moment later, he thought about explaining how he knew she wasn't eating, so he wouldn't sound like some weirdo hanging out on her balcony. He typed out another with a roll of his eyes. _Luke said you aren't eating. Please don't hole yourself up there alone._ He sent that as well. Then he thought... what if she wasn't hungry? He knew that when he had nightmares, he wasn't exactly starving afterwards. Quite the opposite in fact. Any food, or thought of food, repulsed him. He scrunched his face up and went back to texting. Surely he must seem like a loon. _At least drink some tea or something._ He sent that and sighed, putting his phone down. Ok. He needed to do some stuff. He nodded and set out to getting dressed in some proper clothes. He threw a black long sleeved shirt on and black jeans. He pulled his socks on, dialing Luke's number as he had a piece of toast sticking out of his mouth. He heard the man pick up, wrenches dropping in the garage and a curse coming from him. "Hey... make Rey some tea, would you? She's probably thirsty, but not feeling up to making it. And see if you can get her to eat something. I'll drop by some things for her. Thanks," he said as he hung up, grabbed a care package and walked to the door silently. He toed his boots on, pulling them up and securing them as he left his house with a determined grin on his face.

Within a moment, he was down to his car, starting it up and backing out of his parking spot. He drove to the nearest store in silence, mapping out a plan in his head. She needed a pick-me-up. Ben Solo style. If she wouldn't pick up her phone or return his texts, he would show her that he was still there. Who knew what thoughts she's concocted with one night of being alone. She probably thought he would fall off the face of the planet or something. And she'd left her messages on unread, so... He sighed. Thank you, iPhones for telling on people. His phone dinged and he smirked. He read it at a stop light and nodded to himself. Luke said that she had tea in the fridge. Good on you, hermit. He typed back a thumbs up emoji. He looked at the clock in his car. 9:30am. Making good time. He pulled into the store and rushed inside, a hop in his step despite his sleep deprivation. He was a man on a mission.

When he emerged from the store, he had a bamboo bowl full of fruit and a single red rose. He arranged it in his car and took the time to write out a note, placing it in an envelope with his elegant script. He then turned on his car and drove to Luke's. He pulled up into the drive and saw Luke in the garage, fiddling with a transmission, cursing to himself. Ben grinned and emerged from the car. He left the bowl of fruit with Luke, as well as the shirt and envelope. "She's bound to come down sometime," he told Luke. "When she does, give this to her," he said, more of asked. Luke nodded gruffly and rolled his eyes, muttering something about stupid kids under his breath. Ben only grinned more. "Tell her to eat this or I'll force feed it to her," he said as he nodded at the fruit and turned on his heel to leave. He left a dumbfounded Luke behind, backing out of the drive and speeding off. When he stopped back at a stop light again, he texted Rey again. He'd gotten confirmation that Luke had made the tea already, so he decided to try again. _Luke did all the work for you. Go get some tea, love. I know you're good at scavenging._ He sent that and typed out one more, but didn't send it yet. _Any progress?_

When he made it to the next stop sign, he pressed send and kept driving. He went to the mall next. He felt awkward going there, but his destination was there and he had to face his fears just like all the others. He pulled into a parking spot and cut the car, silently questioning if he should go in or not. He hated malls. He hated a lot of people. He felt awkward going into such a social place when he was far from sociable. He frowned for a moment, debating exactly how badly he wanted to do this. He glanced over at the passenger seat and his mind fabricated Rey sitting there, smiling warmly at him. She leaned in closer with a delicate whisper, saying, _"I love you, Ben."_ That was all he needed. He leaped out of his car and made his way in, confidence renewed.


	14. Bothered (Ben) Pt2

**A/N: So the Ben chapter was a bit longer than expected, but here's the last part of it and then back to the real story lol It's like a manga! You read a main story and somewhere in the middle, there's a short break thrown in. This is my fluffy Ben filler. Hope it's not a nuisance. If it is, you can skip it and carry on to the next chapter. I would understand. :) But it's still good to get the other character's point of view. We know what Rey was doing, but Ben just showed up out of the blue. I wanted to show what he was doing and what he was thinking this whole time of them being apart. And it will probably be critical later on, too, to know what Mr. Broody Ben was up to! Anyway! Enjoy the part 2 of Ben's POV! R&R!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 14: Bothered (Ben)_

_Part 2_

* * *

When he got back to his car, he set the bags aside, thinking of his most recent purchase and feeling anxiety welling up inside of him. He could have just made a horrible mistake. Or he could have just done the best thing ever. His phone dinged. He looked down at it and smiled when he saw who it was from. He opened the message and read it, a warm smile on his lips. _"I had another nightmare last night. The same one. I'm working through it. Made a little victory. A few more to go. I'll be ready for you when you come back. I love you, Ben."_ That message alone was enough to tell him that he'd made the right choice. She was ok. She was making good progress. His hope returned. Her thoughts towards him hadn't changed. She was still fighting to overcome her fears. She wouldn't give in. She wouldn't give up. She was not the type to shrink back. He turned the car on and started driving again.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

He'd pulled into his apartment around 1:50pm, having already done some grocery shopping, personal shopping, and grabbing lunch. He had to adult after all. He grabbed his things and walked up the stairs, humming a song that was stuck in his head. He wasn't much of a hummer, but occasionally when it struck him, he would hum the melody to get it out of his head. And the song he was humming was the same one that he imagined them dancing to in his head last night. He set his things on the counter, going back down the stairs for trip number two. The exercise would do him some good anyway, he realized as his thoughts drifted silently back to his beloved Rey. He nervously grabbed the bag in his front seat that was for her and delicately carried it up the stairs with the rest of the groceries. When he was at the top, he closed his apartment door and set to work at putting his groceries away.

The last bag standing was the one for Rey. He looked at it, realizing that it bothered him that he'd bought it so confidently, only to completely fret about it now. What if he'd bought the wrong thing? What if it ticked her off? What if...

He shook his head and decided that whatever happened after he presented it to her, was whatever it would be. He couldn't spend all his time worrying about an outcome he couldn't predict. He looked at the clock, realizing he'd been doing that a lot lately since he was apart from Rey. When he was with her, time didn't matter. Now that they were apart, he counted the time until he would see her again. 2:14pm. Time wasn't moving fast enough for him. He still had so long until he could see her again. A whole other 24 hours at the very least! He sighed as he looked back down at the bag that was staring him in the face. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and sighed exasperatedly. He needed a nap. As soon as he made it to his room, however, he realized he was far too awake to sleep. Another run then!

He donned his workout clothed, another black tank and black workout pants. He shoved his earphones in and pressed play on some more music. He ran to his heart's content. It helped him silence his thoughts. The blaring music drowned out his thoughts of negativity and all he could focus on was his breathing and his running. It was the perfect idea of white noise. Some people found it satisfying to vacuum, some showering... he preferred running with loud music. It calmed him. It was his white noise. He'd tried to do that when Rey had gotten him, too. But she interrupted and...

He shook his head in frustration. Don't think about it... He ran faster, picking up the pace to match his throbbing heart beat. His mind wandered back to Rey. He'd gotten a text back from her, sure, but how was she doing now? His negative thoughts had ceased, he realized. She was doing ok, but how much progress had she really made? He decided not to question it. If she was having difficulties, he would help her through it. They would tackle it together. He didn't care how many times he had to remind her of his love for her and all that it entailed. He would do it over and over again. He would keep making promises to her. He would keep telling her that he had no intention of abandoning her. He was like a grey wolf. When he pledged himself to one person, it was forever. Or in this case, when she said she was done with him. He didn't see that happening anytime soon though. If it did, then fine. He wouldn't be able to go with anyone else. She'd done something to him. It was an internal change. He was better with her. He was far better than he was a day ago... a week ago... a month ago... two months ago.

When he'd met her, his whole life changed. And to think it all started with an O2 sensor. He let out a breathy chuckle as he paused at Luke's house again. He looked down at his phone. He'd been running for about 20 minutes. Luke came out of the garage and smirked at him, nodding quietly. Ben ran up to him, ripping an earphone out of his ear to briefly chat with the man. "How is she?" he asked, panting as he tried to catch his breath.

Luke shrugged. "She came out. I set the stuff on her bed after changing her sheets. She's been up there ever since. I don't know how you pegged her so spot on... but you were right," he said as he shook his head at his grinning nephew.

Ben shrugged. "I love her." Luke looked up at him, eyes wide and full of understanding after a moment. Ben grinned at him, winked and popped his earphone back in, tossing a wave behind him as he started to pick up the pace again. He didn't look back as he ran back to his house. He'd given all the explanation he needed to give to Luke as to why he pegged her that way. When you love someone as much as Ben loved Rey, you knew what they would do in a given circumstance. She was only human. She needed food eventually, right? He made it back to his apartment and bound up the steps, not stopping his motions until he made it inside his apartment. He shut off the music and leaned against the door, catching his breath. He was satisfied with this run. His mind was clear, his mood had picked up. He was doing better.

_But how was Rey?_

He decided that he would text her when he got out of the shower. For now... he needed to cleanse. He walked into his room and shed his clothing, hopping into the shower to let the hot water stream down on his body, relaxing his tensed up muscles and dragging a sigh of relief out of him. He felt his legs aching from the miles he'd put on them over the past day or so and he realized he needed to run more. Maybe he could go on a run with Rey sometime. He smiled at that. He could see it now. Them running in the park, side by side, her hair swinging as she ran, a grin on her beautiful face. He shuddered and tore himself before his thoughts grew inappropriate. He finished bathing and cut the water off before stepping out and grabbing his towel. He dried off silently, only barely catching his phone buzzing. His brow quirked for a moment, walking over to it to see it was a message from Rey. And an attachment?

He opened the message and sputtered as his cheeks grew hotter than he ever thought they could. He stared at his picture that Rey sent to him for what seemed like forever. She wore his shirt well. She looked dang sexy in it, too! And it was a tasteful picture, he noticed. Nothing wildly inappropriate. Just something to be sweet and beautiful at the same time. His rose sat on her chest, an apple in her mouth, his shirt on her body, just barely hanging off of her shoulder as she smiled up at him with those eyes that could melt the north and south poles. His thoughts drifted to how he'd gotten so fortunate as to have such a beautiful woman to call his own. He smiled warmly at her. He saved it and set it as his wallpaper and contact photo before reading the message she sent with it. "_Thank you for my gifts, Ben."_ Something so simple and sweet. He smiled as he all but dashed into his room to get some clothes on so he could send a picture to her as well. He typed back to her. _I knew you would wear it better. Thank you for eating something, love. _He sent the message and went back into the bathroom where there was sufficient lighting. He left his towel hanging around his neck as he stared into the camera and smirked a little, pouring his love into the photo, as if trying to relay it to her the best he could. He'd always hated how he looked in pictures, but he decided that he wouldn't be so self-conscious and just sent it to her without a second thought.

He saw the phone go from delivered to read and he hesitated for a moment. He would tease her a little. _Don't miss me too much._ He sent it, earning him a kissy emoji a moment later. He chuckled at her, closing out the message to see her staring up at him on his phone. He walked over to his bed and smiled as he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Ben awoke with a start as he looked around for a moment. He looked at his phone and saw that it was 11:58pm. He sighed and groaned at his body refusing to sleep. He supposed it wasn't too bad. He'd gotten a few hours in at least. He slept for... what... 7 hours? He still felt so exhausted though. He needed more sleep, but his mind wasn't letting him give himself to it completely. He rolled over and tried to get more comfortable, thinking that was the issue.

It wasn't.

With a groan and a sigh, he wrenched himself from bed and swung his feet to the ground. He looked around for something to do. His house was immaculate. There was nothing on late at night except dirty shows and talk shows and whatnot. He could go listen to the classical music again... He turned the thought in his head for a few moments. Would that settle him back into a sleep? He stood from his bed and yawned loudly, hair a mess as he walked to the bathroom.

He emerged a moment later and walked to the living room, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and turning his TV on to the classical station. He listened as some violins started to play and he sighed in contentment. Vivaldi. Great. Perfect. He could relax to this, he thought. Then his thoughts were back on Rey again. He couldn't help but laugh as he saw her image in his head. This woman had him so far wound around her that it was bordering insanity. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, amazed that they'd come so far in two or three months. It seemed like forever. It was odd how their bond was so strong. How it grew stronger so fast. He wondered what it would be like in a year? Two? Five? Ten? He sobered at that thought. Would they still be together in that amount of time?

He chewed on his cheek for a moment. He looked down at his phone. 12:15am. Time was passing so slowly. It was so agonizing. He couldn't make it another day. He was a wreck. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't function. He couldn't do much of anything without thinking about her. When was this going to wear off?

_Never._

He found himself smirking at that. And he hoped it never would. If he wasn't so anxious to know how she would feel when he came back, he would welcome that thought to the fullest extent. But as it stood, he was so worried as to how she would receive him when he came back to her. After tossing the thought around a little longer, he sighed and ran his hand over his face again. He needed to go for a run...

He walked into his room and grabbed his workout clothes. He slipped them on effortlessly and walked to the front door again, now more awake than he wanted to be as he toed his boots on and left his house, locking his door. He did the usual, popping one earphone in and turning on his music as loud as he could. He jogged at a comfortable pace down the street, thoughts drifting again to Rey. Was she sleeping now? He smiled at the thought of her curled into herself, hair falling over her face as she breathed his name in her sleep. He picked up his pace a little faster. She was like a drug to him, he realized. He wanted so badly to be with her. All the time. Did she feel the same? Was it as maddening for her to be away from him as it was for him? He felt like he was being torn apart. He wanted to burst into her room and kiss her senseless and sleep next to her. He wanted to hear her call his name. To hear her say she loved him. Her touch. Her smell. All of it engulfed him.

He picked up his pace again. The very thought of her gave him energy. Energy that he needed to burn if he were to be able to sleep decently. It hadn't worked so far though. Last night it did, but would it work tonight? The more he thought about going to her, the more awake he felt. And before he knew it, he was in front of Luke's house again. He panted, catching his breath as he looked upstairs at her window. Her light was on. She was awake. There wasn't any movement, but he knew she didn't sleep with the light on. He stared up there for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek as he debated calling her or texting her. Or if he should just leave it alone altogether. He turned over his shoulder, looking behind him. He was starting to feel tired. Could he make it back? He was more than sure that he could. He looked back up at her window. But did he want to?

He tore his phone from his pocket, turning off the music, snatching the headphones out and dialing her number. He put it to his ear, walking to the front door of Luke's house. He pulled the secret key from on top of the door frame and unlocked it quietly. He shut it behind him, locking it in the process. Just then, she picked up. He felt his breathing pick up a hair. _"Ben,"_ she said warmly.

His lips tugged in a warm smile at that. "Been a while."

He heard her laugh as he ascended the stairs slowly, quietly. _"It's been a day."_ Such a simple reminder. But it hit him hard. He'd made it a day without her before his mind started to completely consume him with thoughts of her and her well being.

"So it has..." It had come out a bit more disconnected than he wanted it to as he slowly climbed the stairs, careful not to wake Luke. The man was such a light sleeper that it was ridiculous.

_"Ben?"_ she whispered. He was close enough to her door that he heard it coming from both sides of the phone.

"Hmm?" he asked softly, trying not to give himself away as he tried to surprise her.

_"I love you."_ It was so warm. So loving. So attentive. He could barely believe it as he smiled and rested his hand on her door knob. He twisted it and opened it, eyes meeting hers across the room as his phone stayed poised at his ear. He saw the shock and giddiness welling up in her as he stood there.

"I love you, Rey." Before he knew it, she had thrown the blankets off of herself (was she wearing pants?) and made a mad leap into his arms, wrapping her naked legs around his waist and kissing him with all she had. It nearly knocked the breath (and common sense) out of him as he chuckled and walked into her room, closing the door behind him. He held her against him, hands under her naked thighs, not daring to go any higher. He struggled to keep himself in check as she kissed him with such intensity that he swore his knees were about to give out on him. She giggled as she pulled away and hugged him tight, truly glad that he was there.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered, her voice both light and happy that he was there despite the question. He could tell she was really happy to see him there.

He gently nuzzled her neck with his cheek. "I wanted to check on you." It wasn't a complete lie. He had wanted to see her. He had wanted to be with her. He had jogged and ran by the house so many times that he knew he could run it in the pitch black in his sleep. It was only a matter of time before he just let himself in. He felt her lips curl into a smile against his neck and then the lightest of kisses at his jawline. He bit back a groan. Maybe it was the increased blood flow from running, but that had done wonders for him.

She slid down him and landed on her feet, much to his gratitude, before she grabbed his hand and started to tug him to the bed. He couldn't help but follow her, kicking off his boots in the process. He sat at his side on the edge of the bed as he smiled lovingly up at her. He didn't dare let his sight drift below the hem of the shirt, even though he had put together long ago that she was stunning in his shirt. The way it hung on her loosely... stopping just below her- "It looks better on you in person." He couldn't stop himself.

The blush he received from that made her realize how bare she was to him. She pulled at the shirt, as if trying to make it longer. He knew she was uncomfortable. She'd gotten so excited to see him that she threw caution to the wind and threw herself at him, forgetting her lack of clothing. He looked away with a soft laugh at her innocence. She had walked away to get decent, his heart swelling in his chest whose bed he was sitting on. Gosh, he had missed her. Before he knew it, she was back in front of him, pulling him into her, his head resting against her stomach, just below her chest. Her arms wound around him affectionately and winding in his hair as his own arms wrapped around her waist, mindful of where he put them, as always. It occurred to him then... "Am I interrupting you?" His voice was soft as he spoke against her stomach. She smelled even better than he remembered.

Her voice rang like a beautiful song in his ears as she laughed. "No. I've had enough time to think." He was sure she had. He felt her hands on his face, pulling his gaze to hers. He stared into her eyes and saw concern for him laced in her dark eyes. "How are you?"

He knew she was asking how he was doing without her. He would be lying if he said he was fine. He was far from fine without her. He knew she saw the dark circles under his eyes, the bloodshot whites of his eyes poking through just a bit. He was exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. But somehow... he forgot all of that while he was with her. Everything with her was... "Better."

"Are you staying?" Her voice was so full of hope. She was as eager to have him here with her as he was to be here. Her face radiated hope that he'd stay with her tonight. Still... out of love for her, he wanted to tease her.

"Would you like me to?" His lips twitched up as he reached up to her, his hand finding the back of her neck to gently pull her down to him.

"Never leave." Their lips touched and Ben swore he saw stars. Then everything went black as she straddled his lap. She was so close. Too close. He was already restraining himself from her jumping at him half clothed. But now with her so close to him like this... He wasn't sure how he could resist. For fear of embarrassing her, he opted to pull away before things got worse. He cleared his throat awkwardly, afraid to meet her eyes. He could tell she felt his excitement because she quickly got off of his lap with a deep red blush on her cheeks. She apologized quickly and softly as she seated herself next to him.

He tried to laugh, but it came out as a strangled, embarrassed laugh. "Me, too." So embarrassing. He was so excited to see her, to feel her, to smell her... he'd let it show. He needed to school his body better, he realized.

Before he could continue his self-chastisement, he registered her smile as she pulled him down into the bed with her. He laid on his side, her curled up next to him as he held her tight. "Thank you for coming," she whispered to him, kissing his collarbone. He held her tight and squeezed her in response. He had missed this more than he thought he had. Without another word, he felt the exhaustion push him under. His eyes closed and his consciousness ebbed away, content to be with the woman he'd thought about nonstop since he left yesterday afternoon.


	15. Blissful Betrothal

**A/N: And back to the main story! Like I said, it's coming to a wrap up in these next couple of chapters. I think this one is going to be a little longer than the rest that way the next chapter can be a sort of epilogue thing. Not sure yet. We'll see what happens. I get carried away with typing sometimes lol Anyway! Enjoy the next chapter! R&R!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 15: Blissful Betrothal_

* * *

The next morning, Rey breathed a deep sigh of contentment as her eyes fluttered open. She smiled as she realized that she was snuggled tight against Ben. He slept peacefully, lips slightly parted as he propped his head up on his hand, arm extended a bit for her head to lay on his arm. She couldn't resist the heart warming smile that found its way onto her face. His arm was lazily draped around her lower back, her hands resting on his chest comfortably. She leaned forward and pressed a feather light kiss to his parted lips. When she pulled away, he smiled, his eyes closed, but his arm tightening around her and pulling her closer. She laughed softly, earning her a kiss to her forehead. "Morning," he whispered, voice heavy with sleep.

"Morning," she said as she felt him stretch and sit up in bed. He looked at his phone and realized that they had a couple of hours before they needed to go to work. She followed suit, sitting and stretching, arms high over her head. When she was done, they dropped at her sides, her body content with the action. "What time is it?" she asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"7:30," he said with a small yawn. He stood and walked to the door quietly, looking over his shoulder with a small smile. "Coffee?"

She jumped out of bed and followed him downstairs to the kitchen. She started to make breakfast as he made the coffee and when it was done, she plated it and left enough for Luke whenever he found it in himself to wake up. It was odd that he wasn't up already, but she wasn't going to question it. They sat at the table next to each other and ate quietly. It was a comfortable silence as they both woke up together in each other's company. He had a pensive look on his face and Rey was trying to figure out what was going through his head. She glanced over at him and saw him look at her out of the corner of his eye. He seemed uncomfortable. Nervous. Like something was bothering him. She didn't have to wait long as he reached over to her and laced his fingers with hers. "Tell me about your progress," he said as he continued to sip his coffee.

She thought about it for a moment, compiling her thoughts silently. "Well... I figured out why I dreamt it was you." His brows shot up for a second, as if to say 'do tell.' "You know that all my life it was always men that messed me up." He nodded silently, still not allowing his sight to land on her as he stayed focused on a small part of the table. "I was sort of transposing it all on you. Plutt's men didn't really care about what I wanted and tried to force me into whatever they wanted. Jessen was the same way... He got more physical than anyone else. And then there was the way..." her cheeks lit up at that, a dark blush on her face. "The way you look at me. The way I thought you looked at me."

"How did I look at you?"

"My mind was making things up. I knew you weren't thinking anything dirty or malicious, but the red flag shot up and I couldn't get it to go down. All my life, someone was always looking at me like a piece of meat that was there for their enjoyment. Like I was just some play thing and when they were done with me, they could just toss me aside. But when you came along, my mind wouldn't allow me to think of you as any different." Her face fell when she admitted that to him. She knew it was hard for him to hear, but when she looked at him, he nodded silently, meditating on her words. He still kept a delicate hold on her hand as she spoke, not showing any signs of resentment or fear as he'd done in the past. She had to commend him for understanding. "When I started to think about it... I compared how everyone else looked at me with how you looked at me. It wasn't threatening or dirty; it was..." Ben looked at her then, his eyes looking at her as if he were considering her again. She smiled at him. "Like I'm the only one you saw." His lips twitched upwards at that. "Like... you wanted to know me. Like you wanted to know what I thought and how I felt... like you wanted to understand me." His lips pulled into a wide smile then, confirming her assessment. He kissed the back of her hand and grinned at her. "Ben... you worked so hard to earn my trust... Thank you for not giving up on me."

He squeezed her hand gently and returned to sip his coffee, a slight redness on his cheeks. If she were any less observant, she would have missed it, but she knew it was there. "What else did you discover during your assessment of your nightmare?"

"I hated how easily I trusted you, which was why the dream hurt so badly. I trust you so much, but everyone else I ever trusted always betrayed me. Luke worked so hard to get me to trust him. But you worked harder. And in such a short time, I started to trust you, no holds barred. It was weird. It scared me," she admitted softly. His thumb rubbed her hand, pulling her back to reality. "B-but when I looked at it, I saw how hard you worked. Everything you did after you grabbed me had a purpose. And before I knew it, you're here." She motioned to their hands with a grin. "Do you Solo boys always work this fast?" she teased, mirth matching in her eyes and voice.

He shrugged nonchalantly, playing into the joke. "There's a reason we're so famous; we get the job done. No dilly-dallying," he said with an equally playful grin.

She laughed at him and nudged his arm with hers. But she didn't pull away. She rested her head on his shoulder with a small smile. "That dream was... a mix of everything everyone had done to me with your face. Every fear I had from them, I feared you would do the same. But when I thought about it and looked at all that's happened so far with us... you haven't done anything to warrant me being so wary. I'm sorry, Ben," she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder.

"Don't be sorry, Rey. You can't help how your fears manifest. You were just scared that I was no different than the others... Two months ago, I would have said you were right."

"What did you do when you were away? Any new discoveries of your own?" she teased.

Ben sighed softly. "Tons."

She raised a brow at him before she sat upright. "Tons?" Ben nodded, finishing his coffee. He got up to get more, completely not ready to talk about that, but knowing she was curious. "Care to expand on that?"

Ben looked over at her, eyes intense as he tried his best to cover over an emotion she couldn't quite place. He was terrified of something, but at the same time, he was so hopeful. It took her aback for a moment. She wanted to know what was going on with him, but she didn't want to push it. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but he spoke instead. "Come to dinner with me."

She blinked several times at his... request? Demand? She didn't know what to label it as honestly. Nonetheless, she nodded with a warm smile on her lips. "It's a date."

He gave her a boyish grin. "Right. A date."

Luke came down, yawning and scratching his head. He paused for only a moment, registering that Ben was here. His brow shot up as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself some black coffee. "Couldn't stay away, I see."

Ben smirked at his uncle. "Nope."

Luke muttered under his breath again and shook his head with a sigh. He looked at the plate on the bar and shot a look at Rey, earning a sheepish smile. He returned the smile of his own and walked over to the table with plate and coffee in hand. He seated himself with a sigh, eating lazily. Ben and Rey exchanged a glance, Ben smirking quietly and Rey blushing as she turned away, standing and stretching. "I'm going to go change and get ready for work," she announced as she walked toward the stairs. She paused and looked back at Ben. He nodded his head at her with a small smirk and she blew a kiss to him as she ascended the stairs quickly.

Ben looked at Luke then. He opened his mouth and Luke held up his hand. "Before you ask, take her. I don't need you two to work today. Take the day. You both need it," he said as he shot his knowing blue eyes up at his nephew. And for the first time in a very long time, Luke saw his nephew smile a genuine smile at him. Luke shook his head with a small smirk. "Take care of her, Benjamin."

Ben pushed away from the wall then and approached his uncle, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I intend to, uncle," he said as he walked up the stairs to Rey's room. He knocked on the door, earning him a call to wait a minute on the other side. He smirked to himself, hearing the water shut off on the other end. He leaned against the wall next to her door frame, arms crossed as he leaned his head back, eyes closed. The door opened a few moments later to reveal Rey in her work clothes. He considered her carefully, eyes raking over her body and back up to her face. A grey towel hung on her head, soaking up the water from the shower. Her cheeks were red as she saw Ben considering her so closely. He pushed off of the wall and approached her, pulling the towel off of her head gently, moving her wet strands away from her face. "There's no work today," he said softly, his voice low and deep. He leaned closer to her, lips mere inches away from hers. His hands were propped on the door frame as he leaned into her, a small smirk and mischievousness in his eyes. "Date starts now, Rey," he said as he kissed her lips affectionately. As soon as it had started, it was over, leaving Rey wanting for more. He smirked down at her. "I'll be back to get you in... 45 minutes," he said as he kissed her one last time, pushing off of the door way to walk down the stairs.

Rey followed him with her eyes and bit her bottom lip with a wide smile. When he had left, she went back into her room to get ready for real this time. She closed her door and looked at her closet. What to wear... Nervousness and giddiness welled up inside of her as she rummaged through her closet. She truly thought about what to wear. She pulled out a soft blue shirt, a cowl neck and she held it up against herself. She thought about it for a moment. She liked it, she supposed. Then she saw a brown cowl neck and opted for that instead. She liked earthy tones better. She slipped it on and rummaged for some pants next. She grabbed her dark blue skinny jeans and slipped them on as well. She looked at herself in her mirror and glanced down at her shoes. She didn't want to think about that right now. She felt the nerves working their way back up into her mind as she batted around the idea of makeup. Should she? She was always a natural girl. She wasn't really one for makeup except for maybe some light liner and mascara. She shrugged and decided she'd do that. No need to go overboard. It was just a simple date, she kept telling herself. She bit her bottom lip again, worrying it a little as she thought about what they were going to do tonight. She was sure he wouldn't try to make a move on her or anything. He knew she wasn't _that_ comfortable yet.

She shoved that from her mind as she brushed her hair and pulled it back half-up, half-down. Deciding she was good enough, she walked to her closet and picked out a pair of brown booties. They had about a three inch lift, but she was used to them. She slipped them on and inspected herself. When she found she was comfortable, she smiled and flopped on her bed, opting to read a book to pass the time.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Ben rushed home, running as fast as he could. He'd made it home in a record 17 minutes. He chuckled at himself as he bound up his stairs and quickly unlocked his door. He threw his keys and phone to the side, stripping at his door way, having just shut the thing and darted for the shower. He took a quick shower, shaving in the process. He'd gotten out, towel-dried his hair and walked over to his closet after getting his underwear on. He picked out a nice red button-up dress shirt and nice black slacks, dressing himself quickly and giving himself a once over. He felt good enough, but man did he feel nervous as all get out! He huffed a sigh, brushing his teeth to clear it from breakfast, sweat and coffee. He looked at the time. It was a ten minute drive to her. He had about ten minutes to kill. He looked at the bag on his counter again. He walked over to it and laid his hand on it, contemplating it quietly. He took the gift out of the bag, quickly disposing of the bag and slipped the present into the drawer by his front door. He'd have her back over here, he decided. He concocted a plan in his head as to where he would take her today. He didn't really know a lot about what she liked to do for fun, but he could speculate.

He grabbed a jacket on the way out, locking his apartment, flinging his jacket over his shoulder, holding only the collar in his fingers, as he walked down the stairs with his other hand in his pocket. He walked to his car, hopping in and starting it up as he drove to the store. One stop and then he'd go get her.

He emerged about seven minutes later, a gift in his front seat just for her as he smiled softly. He drove to her house, anxiety welling up inside of him. He hoped she would enjoy herself and be able to experience the same amount of bliss she made him feel every second he was with her.

He pulled into the driveway and parked the car, shutting it off as he grabbed the gift and exited the car. He walked up to the front door and let himself in. "Rey?" he called, looking around and listening for signs of movement. When he heard none, he walked up the stairs, calling her again. "Rey?" No answer still. He knocked on her door before opening it to see her sleeping with her arms folded under her head. He smiled affectionately at her. He walked into her room, gently closed her door and knelt at the foot of the bed. He took her in, noticing that she'd put on some makeup. She didn't need it, he knew, but the effort she showed was enough for him to know she wanted this as much as he did. "Rey," he whispered softly, leaning forward and kissing her forehead gently. Her eyes fluttered open with a soft waking sound, her brown eyes falling on his hazel ones. He smiled at her, brushing the loose strands from her face. He watched her sit up and stretch. Then she uttered a soft curse, darting to the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He chuckled at her. She forgot she was wearing makeup.

She emerged a few moments later, makeup fixed and face looking as if she'd been awake the whole time. Her hair was back in place as she shyly looked up at him. "Sorry-" She stopped as he held out a bouquet of flowers for her, that same grin on his face as in her wallpaper. He watched her face change as she processed the gift. She let out a soft airy laugh as she took the bouquet from him, smelling the flowers with the highest regard. She held them to her chest and smiled warmly at him. "They're beautiful."

Ben grinned at her, approaching her and tucking some hair behind her ear. "Not nearly as beautiful as you, love," he said as he kissed her forehead. "Come on," he said softly, offering his hand to her. She smiled as she took it, letting him lead her out of her room and down the stairs, the look of unbridled love and tender affection in her eyes as she watched him. When they made it to the bottom, Luke stood there, arms crossed over his chest. He considered the couple quietly and nodded to them both, offering a soft "Have fun" as he excused himself to the garage, crossing their path momentarily. Ben smirked at his back, tugging Rey with him out the door. She laughed as he pulled her to his GTR, opening the door for her as she slid inside. He shut the door carefully, making his way to his side. Once he was in, he started the car, the thing roaring to life, exciting Rey as she fell in love with this car all over again. He could tell she loved his car. He popped it in reverse as he eyed the clock. 9:32am. Today was going to be eventful.

As soon as he started to drive forwards, his hand came to rest on the shifter. Rey's hand found his without a moment's hesitation. She twined their fingers together, sitting in a comfortable silence. He risked a glance at her at a red light and smiled, her eyes meeting his as she smiled, too. She was beautiful. He kissed the back of her hand briefly, earning a light laugh. "Where are we going?" she asked as he drove through town. She looked out the window, staring up at all the buildings and trying to get a grasp on where she was. She hadn't ventured out this far before...

"I want you to meet a friend of mine," he said gently. From his tone, she could tell he held this friend in high regard. It seemed as if Ben thought of this friend as family. She looked over at him, studying his face. It was soft. Whoever it was... she could tell he cared a lot for this friend. She gave him a soft smile, knowing he could see it out of his peripheral. His own lips twisted and curled in a soft grin, too. They drove for what seemed like an hour, but it was actually just 15 minutes or so. He parked the car and Rey looked up at the building before her. She raised a brow. It looked like a bar... She looked questioningly at him. All he did was grin and get out of the car, walking to her side to open her door, holding out his hand for her to take. She did and when she got out, she looked at the building silently. She shut the door and felt him tug her gently to the inside of this building. It was labeled "Maz's." She wondered who this person was... and how Ben knew them.

They stepped inside and the atmosphere was actually quite different than the outside. It seemed respectable. It was definitely a high class place. The greeter smiled at him. "Mr. Solo, to what do we owe the pleasure?" she asked, bowing her head gracefully.

"Where's Maz?"

The greeter nodded. "One moment, please. I'll tell her you're here-"

"BEN... SOLO!" came an elderly woman's voice from the back of the establishment. Ben grinned as he saw a short little woman coming up to him. He shot a grin at Rey, who looked utterly confused. He bent down so the little woman could give him a kiss on the cheek and hug him with a raspy laugh. When she pulled away, she held his hands in hers. "My boy, it's been too long. How are-" She caught a glance at Rey, who was watching her respectfully, trying to get a hint as to who she was. Maz gasped and looked back to Ben before playfully punching his cheek, earning a chuckle. "And who is this pretty woman?"

Ben stood then and took Rey's hand in his again. "Maz, this is Rey, my girlfriend. Rey... this is Maz. She's... she's family."

Rey looked down at Maz and smiled softly. "Very nice to meet you, Maz."

Maz gave her a once over and smiled wide at Rey. "Benny doesn't bring women here, Rey. You must be very special to him." She let that hang in the air for a moment, earning a dark blush from Ben as he looked away smoothly as Rey blushed and laughed softly. "Come, come. Have a seat. I'll order something for us," she said as she grabbed Rey's hand and walked with her. Rey glanced back at Ben and saw him smiling affectionately at her. She took that as she was approved of by Maz. She looked back at the little 4'10 woman in front of her. Whoever she was... she was extremely important to Ben.

Once they were at the table, Maz sat across from the two, Rey on the inside of the booth and Ben on the outside. She rattled off some things to the waiter, who rushed quickly to the kitchen to relay the message. Within a few moments, drinks were out. Rey blushed as a drink was set in front of her, smelling of strawberries and alcohol. Ben gently touched her hand next to him on the booth. "You don't have to drink it if you don't want to," he offered. He knew that alcohol was... not a good thing in her memory.

Maz saw the two's interaction and pushed her own drink toward Rey. "Nonalcoholic, dear," she said as she took Rey's drink instead. Rey gave her a small smile and a soft thanks, graciously taking the nonalcoholic beverage from this woman. She sipped it quietly, sighing at the taste. "My own recipe," Maz said with a smile. Rey smiled at her softly. "So! How do you know my Benny boy?"

Rey flicked her eyes over at Ben at the nickname. She'd tease him about that later, she decided. She turned her attention back to Maz. "I work at Luke's mechanic shop. He brought his car in one day."

Maz adjusted her coke bottle glasses as she stared at Rey closer. It made Rey slightly uncomfortable, and Ben just slid his hand over his face with a sigh. Rey looked at Maz incredulously. "Ahhh... so you're the ward of Skywalker... It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot from the Solos." Ben bristled at the mention of his family. Maz didn't fail to notice, but chose to not acknowledge it. She went on to say, "Leia spoke very highly of you, dear. Though, she didn't put much stock in leaving you with Luke. But it seems you turned out very well. Let me guess... Luke taught you mechanics and put you to work as his apprentice?" Rey nodded quietly, astounded that she knew so much about her when she knew nothing about Maz. She let out a loud, boisterous laugh then. "Of course! Skywalker can't resist training people to be the best they can be!" She turned her attention to Ben then, who was carefully avoiding Maz's glance. He knew it was coming soon...er than he thought. "Benny... why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend? You disappear for five years and suddenly come back mellowed out and with a girlfriend?"

Rey's eyes widened as she turned her sight to Ben. "Five years?" she echoed in disbelief.

Maz laughed softly then as the red crept onto Ben's face. "Little Benny boy here decided that he would go off and do professional fighting. This one was full of rage and anger. He could scare the stink off a field full of manure. Han and Leia tried to get him not to do it, but Benny decided that he'd do it just to spite his parents. He'd earned a lot of money doing it, too. I remember him coming in here all scruffed up looking a little worse for wear. And who bandaged him up? I did. I was the only one he really came to talk to. He was so upset, dear. So full of rage and hatred and anger... it was heart breaking. He was such a sweet boy growing up, but just with any other neglected child, they turned into something dark and-"

"Maz..." Ben said, voice harsh and strained. Rey could tell he was struggling to keep his regret hidden.

Maz sighed as she looked Ben over, watching as Rey reached for his hand under the table, eyes full of tenderness. How her gaze seemed to calm him down, like a tranq dart. She smiled knowingly at the two. "Ahhh... I see now." Both of them looked at Maz quietly, waiting for some sort of explanation. She giggled with her raspy voice, sipping her drink with evident amusement. "You'll be married within the year," she said simply as the food came.

Rey's jaw dropped. "I-I beg your pardon?!" She could hardly believe what she heard. Who was this woman? Why did Rey desperately want to believe her? Why was Ben laughing so hard? She looked over at her boyfriend, face full of confusion and a loss for words. "Ben-"

"I haven't been wrong yet, have I, Benny boy?" Maz said as she passed around napkins and silverware.

Ben chuckled as he sipped his beer. He turned his sight to Rey, eyes full of love and a newfound respect for Rey. "Nope."

Rey's cheeks heated up, completely at a loss with these two. She just sat there, gaping at her boyfriend, who was clearly amused and relieved at the same time. His eyes were full of nothing short of admiration, hope, love and... contentment. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, opting to whisper in her ear, "Despite your mouth hanging open, you're still the most beautiful woman I've laid eyes on." Her mouth snapped shut then as her cheeks burned redder than his shirt. She punched his arm, earning a chuckle in return. "Thanks, Maz."

Maz grinned at the boy. "One year," she repeated as they all fell into a silence that Rey couldn't quite put her finger on. She couldn't tell if it were an anxious silence or a comfortable one.

She didn't really care as she started to eat her food cautiously. She smiled at the taste and Ben noticed, a small grin on his lips, too. "Maz has the best food in the county," he said as he held out his fork for her to try some of his. Rey blushed, but allowed him to feed her some of his. She sighed contently, looking at Maz when she started to laugh at the two. "Zip it, Maz."

Maz held up her hands in defeat. Ben's tone wasn't harsh, but rather one of a playful banter between a grandmother and grandson. "Maz, how do you know the Solos?" Rey asked before she could stop herself.

Maz let out a nostalgic sigh. "I used to work with Benny's father." Rey remembered his name was Han. "He got into the trade business and I helped him where I could. Then he disappeared and I met Leia. She was very pregnant with little Benny here. She'd told me that Han ran off somewhere. That man couldn't ever sit still. Guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree, eh, Benny?" Ben shot her a guarded glare then. "When Benny was born... I spent a lot of time around him and his mother. Leia was very busy all the time, so little Benny came with me and helped me here. That's where he learned how to cook!" she said as she laughed fondly at the memory. Rey found herself smiling warmly at her reminiscing. She had grabbed Ben's hand under the table as she listened carefully to Maz. "Leia and Han always had a rocky relationship, so Benny stayed with me most of the time. When I found out he was in a gang..."

"I said some things I shouldn't have and ran off," Ben finished, knowing that part was hard for Maz to say.

Maz nodded, her grandmotherly smile still in place. "He came back a few years later, realizing he'd made a terrible mistake. Only to be snatched away again by some guy that wanted to use his talent to make more money. And I hadn't seen him since today. I'd gotten a couple of calls over the years, the first one in five years being yesterday." Rey looked over at Ben who was blushing and avoiding her stare. She turned her attention back to Maz. "What about you, dear?"

"Sorry... me?"

Maz nodded expectantly. "I already know you're an orphan taken in by Skywalker... but what are your plans with Benny?"

Rey blushed, glancing at Ben and quickly looking away. "I-I haven't really thought about it..."

"Sure you have! It's written all over your face, dear."

Rey tilted her head in confusion. "I... I don't understand."

Maz couldn't help but laugh softly at her. "You're a good match for him, Rey. I wish you both the best in your futures." A waiter came to Maz then and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and with a knowing smile and a quick, loving glance between the two of them, she stood and nodded her head. "It was very nice to meet you, Rey. Benny... stop by more often, huh?"

Ben smiled at her softly. "I will, Maz." Maz bounced off and Rey couldn't believe her ears. Ben looked over at her, a small smile on his face. "She loves you almost as much as I do," he chuckled. Rey blushed at him and averted her glance. "Rey?"

"A year?" she whispered. He didn't know how to take that. Was she not feeling the same? Was he making a horrible mistake in hoping for it? She looked at him then and smiled affectionately, her hand going to his cheek to gently caress it. "It seems so far away," she whispered as she pressed her lips against his. He realized then that she'd answered any question he may have had. He kissed her back with all he had, remaining within the lines of decency for PDA. When she pulled away, she smiled at him shyly. He met her unsure gaze with one of confidence and renewed determination. He tugged her to him as he got out of the booth, helping her to her feet. "How often is Maz wrong?" she asked, voice still unsure of what just transpired.

Ben wrapped his arm around her lower back and leaned into her, his lips dangerously close to her ear as he whispered delicately into it. "Never." He dragged her dazed form out of the restaurant and to the car, helping her into her seat and shutting the door. He wore a smile the whole time as he seated himself in the driver's seat. He watched her fiddle with her fingers in her lap as she contemplated how right Maz was. Would she be wrong this time? Did she want Maz to be wrong? She felt his hand brushing the hair from her neck, earning her attention. She watched as he leaned forward, using his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer to him. He gently kissed her lips, trailing a kiss down to her neck where he affectionately loved on her pulse point, feeling her heart beat speed up under his lips. "Don't think about it too much, love." She tangled her fingers in his hair as he kissed another part of her neck, kissing up her jaw and back to her lips, earning a soft hum of pleasure from her. When he pulled away, he saw in her eyes what could only be seen as the want for more. He smirked at her gently. "The night's not over."

Rey snapped to a moment later, having struggled to catch her breath from his ministrations. She smiled at him and looked at the clock. 12:45pm. He pulled away from Maz's and drove off to what looked like a park, holding her hand in his the whole time. They'd found comfort in little things like this. When they'd pulled in, he stuck to routine and helped her out of the car, locking up a moment later. They strolled down the sidewalk, hand in hand as he walked her deeper and deeper into the park, past the playing children and to a bridge. It was very old-fashioned looking, she noted. It was painted red as it looked out over a river. He led her to it and smiled as he watched her face light up with the beauty of it all. She walked alone ahead and he snapped a picture of her, turning on the bridge to see the petals of the tree rain down across it as a gentle wind swept it over her. He looked at it and smiled softly. This photo was so endearing. She walked over to the railing and looked over it as he approached her. Another picture. She turned to look at him, a suspicious grin on her face. "Benjamin Solo... what are you doing?"

Ben showed her his phone and her face lit up with a pink tint. "These are... beautiful."

He grabbed his phone from her again and wrapped his arm around her, pulling the camera away from them and snapping a selfie on the bridge. He showed it to her and she giggled at it. He sent it to her phone and held his hand out to her. She took it with a smile and they continued their walk. "So... when I was doing some thinking, I realized something..." Ben started with a small chuckle.

"What's that?"

"I know hardly anything about you. Your likes and dislikes... your favorites and your disgusts... nothing."

Rey thought hard for a moment. "Sounds like we need to fix that then. How about a game?"

He raised a dark brow at her, a grin playing at his lips. "Game?"

"Yeah. Like... two truths, one lie."

Ben considered it for a moment. "Ok. Sure. You start."

Rey thought for a moment. "My favorite color is grey... I dislike roller coasters... and... My favorite day is Saturday."

Ben thought for a moment. He'd seen her with a grey towel, so that may be a truth. But he was at a loss for the other two. "I think you don't dislike roller coasters."

Rey laughed. "Wrong. My favorite color is actually blue."

"Why Saturdays?"

Rey blushed as she pulled herself closer to him. "I get to spend the most time with you."

Ben felt his lips pull into a wide smile. "Ok... I want children... I used to play the guitar... and... My favorite color is red."

"Guitar." He looked at her quickly, slightly bewildered how she got that so fast. She laughed at him and shrugged. "I can see you wanting children and I don't doubt that Broody Benny's favorite color is red." His brow twitched at the nickname. She kissed his cheek. "Ok, ok. This is going too slow. I want to know more. Favorite food?"

"Don't have one. Favorite activity?"

"Reading." He made a mental note. "Worst fear?"

He thought about it for a moment. "It's a tie..." She waited patiently. "Losing you... and being alone." She smiled softly at him as they came to rest at a bench, staring out over the river, Ben's arm winding around her shoulders as she curled into him. "Favorite music?"

"Classical. Favorite hobby?"

"Running. Worst fear?" he asked gently, cautiously.

She considered it for a time. "Never seeing you again." He smiled warmly at her as he kissed her temple. "Favorite memory?"

Ben hesitated. He looked down at her, using his hand to tilt her chin up to look at him. "This whole day. Any day as long as you're in it." He kissed her lips gently and she melted into him. He pulled away slightly with a smirk. "Favorite memory?"

She held her hand on his cheek as she smiled up at him. "Your confession." They both laughed as they realized they were getting sappy again. "Favorite animal?"

"Grey wolf." She tilted her head in confusion. So specific. "You'll see later," he replied. "Favorite animal?"

She hadn't thought about that one. She took a little longer to reply. "Fox."

They'd continued on like that for what seemed like hours. It had morphed from questions to just sharing things about themselves. As they learned more, the found that maybe the comfortable silence was ok, but discovering each other was maybe just a bit better. It was starting to get colder and Ben had taken his jacket off, giving it to her to wear. She walked close to him, his arm around her shoulders ever so gently as he led her back to the car. It was getting close to dinner time so he figured it was as good a time as any to take her back to his place for dinner. He started driving in silence, seeing her look out the window in awe as the scenery started to change. He pulled into his spot and got out of the car, helping her out and walking her up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked his door and stepped through, turning on the light as he kicked his shoes off at the door. She followed suit, taking in the modern look of his apartment. She walked over to him in the kitchen and smiled at him. "I like your place better," she said as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close.

He kissed the top of her head as he rolled up his sleeves and went to work at cooking dinner. "Feel free to put on the TV or music or something..." he called as he started to rustle around the kitchen. She went to his couch and grabbed the remote, studying it for a moment before turning it on, the TV popping on to classical. She smiled softly and turned to him, seeing him glance up from the cutting board to smirk at her. "My favorite, too, believe it or not."

She laughed as she walked back over to the bar, opting to sit in the stool to watch him. "So, Mr. Solo..." He looked up at her briefly. "What's the plan for after dinner?"

Ben paused in his cutting. It was only a fraction of a second, but it was noticeable. "There's an amusement park..."

"Maybe we can stay in? It's... kind of cold... and I didn't dress for it," she said shyly.

Ben nodded and considered his options. "Do you dance?" It was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He mentally slapped himself.

Rey eyed him carefully. "I... haven't tried." She watched as Ben nodded at her. He continued his cooking as Rey was left to think about the question. She hadn't ever had anyone to dance with. She didn't know if she knew how. But the thought of dancing with Ben made her giddy. They'd fought and found their own rhythm then, so what was stopping them from finding their own rhythm with dancing? "I'd like to..." she said softly, knowing he heard her because he dropped the spatula on the ground, clanking as it went. She laughed softly and walked over to help him clean up. She washed off the spatula in the sink and turned to hand it back to him, eyes clearly amused at him. He took the spatula from her with a small thanks and went back to cooking, leaving her to really examine him. His cheeks were red as he cooked, and she could tell that it wasn't the heat from cooking that got to him. "What are you thinking about?" she asked as she leaned against the counter between the stove and fridge.

Ben felt embarrassment wash over him, but knew that she wouldn't tease him if he told her. He huffed out a sigh. "When we were apart, I couldn't sleep very well. So I put on classical music. It helped... after a six mile run... and a beer... or two. But when I heard a song... I thought of dancing with you..."

She didn't know what to say about that. It was sweet. She smiled at him and pulled him close for a kiss, hand winding in his hair as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She pulled away with a smile. "Let's dance after dinner." He nodded with a small grin.

Dinner was done in a matter of minutes and they were sitting at the bar next to each other. He had fixed her a water and fixed one for himself. He didn't want to drink in front of her, not knowing if it would trigger something within her. And besides, he didn't want to give her any ideas that whatever he did or said tonight was because of alcohol. Their knees touched under the bar, a silent want to be closer to each other, but not able to give up a hand to hold while eating. "Maz taught you well," she said with a smile his way.

He smirked at her. It was just shrimp alfredo. Nothing special. "Glad you like it."

She snorted. "I could get used to this," she laughed softly.

He swallowed hard at the thought of that. She was pretty much hinting to him her intentions. His eyes darted to the table by the door and then quickly away. He hoped he didn't lose his nerve tonight. This whole day was-

"I've had a really good time today, Ben. Thank you. For everything." Ben looked at her and smiled. "This whole date is perfect," she said as she kissed his cheek. He said nothing as he stood and collected their empty plates. He took the time to wash the dishes, Rey quickly finding her place next to him to rinse and dry. When he was done washing, he helped her put them away in their proper spots and led her by the hand to the living room.

He offered her his hand, bowing just slightly. "May I have this dance?"

She let out an airy laugh before taking his hand and curtsying at him. It looked silly without a dress on, but this whole dancing thing was silly as it was. He pulled her to him, holding one hand while guiding her other to his shoulder. He rested his on the small of her back. He started to lead and she quickly fell into rhythm with him. Soon, they were waltzing in his living room, their eyes locked, hands warmly holding the other's. It seemed that there could be no better state of bliss they could be in. Everything was perfect. They were just completely, unabashedly happy. He spun her away from him, holding onto one hand and spun her back into him, resuming their positions. As the song came to a close, he dipped her. She smiled up at him, her hand finding its way into his hair as they shared a tender kiss. After a few seconds, he stood her back up and Rey smiled softly at him. "That was fun." Ben nodded, but seemed distracted. "Ben?" she asked, hand touching his cheek to draw him back. "What's wrong?"

He looked into her eyes and she saw veiled worry. He hid it quickly as he turned and went to the drawer by the door. He slipped something into his pocket as he walked back over to her and took her hands in his. "Rey..." he started carefully, his voice smooth despite his rising anxiety. She looked up at him cautiously, brows creased with concern. "I've had such a nice time with you, and I don't want to have to part from you again," he said as his gaze held hers in an anxious, but loving stare. "When I said I've discovered a ton about myself and us when we were apart, it was the truth. It tore me apart to be away from you. I would go for jogs and wind up at Luke's. I would try to sleep and I'd think of you. I would wake up and wonder if you were ok, if you're eating, if you're sleeping well... if your thoughts of me changed..." He brushed her hair behind her ear. "Every thought process I had revolved around you. It was torture to be away from you, even though I knew it would do you some good. I found myself wanting to call you all the time, every waking moment. I wanted to stop by your house. I wanted to be with you. Always. And so..." He dropped his one knee, pulling out the box he had carefully concealed. He opened it and showed it to her and there it sat. A beautiful diamond ring, gazing up at her with as much shine as it possessed. She gasped as she gawked at the ring and at him. "Rey... I promised you I would never leave you and I wouldn't disappear. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Would you... marry me?"

Rey's head was spinning as she stared at the man before her, down on one knee, eyes full of that same emotion she couldn't quite place before. She felt tears push their way out of her eyes as she felt herself growing more and more anxious, more and more in love and more and more lost to this man before her. She choked out a sob as every bad memory washed away. He wanted her. He loved her and he wanted her. She was enough for him. He chose her. Baggage and all, he chose her. He wanted to be with her always. Was always long enough? She laughed as she threw herself at him, her lips finding his in a bold and passionate kiss, one with renewed vigor as she cried out multiple "Yes!"s as she peppered his face with kisses. He held her tight and returned the kisses, releasing a happy laugh of his own. When she finally pulled away, tears were flowing so easily from her eyes that she feared they would never stop. He stared into her eyes, a look of wonder and love and gratitude. He was so grateful he had her. She'd said yes. He plucked the ring from the box and held her left hand, sliding the ring onto her ring finger. She looked down at it and new tears started to fall from her eyes as she clung to him as closely as she could, her lips finding his in another desperate, heated battle. Now, tonight was perfect.


	16. Belong

**A/N: Woot! Engagement! Let's push on! It turned out a little more rambly than I wanted... but fluff nonetheless. Enjoy!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Chapter 16: Belong_

* * *

Well, it happened. Ben was officially the happiest man on the face of the planet, he realized, as he laid next to the woman that just agreed to be his forever. As she slept in his arms, he couldn't help but gently stroke her arm, lost in his thoughts of her as he beamed at her. They'd been through so much together. It was insane how much was thrown at them, really. She'd been abused all her life; he'd been neglected all of his. It seemed that both of them were extremely careful not to do that to the other. She had always been sure to help him out of his rabbit hole, as he did with her, but it was special. She had always known how to get his attention, even if it seemed he was lost. His anger had all but dissipated. It was a lot easier to be happy with her. He was still skittish around others, and downright standoffish, but with Rey... it was easier to be happy. Easier to feel wanted. Easier to belong. This was where he belonged; with her, right here, right now.

He wondered what else was in store for them, but he was content right here, right now. He'd found his home and she'd found hers. It was strange, really, how two complete strangers could overcome such difficulties with each other and change so drastically for each other. It was a lot different than being alone. When he was alone, he didn't care that he was angry all the time. He didn't care who he offended. He didn't care about anything. He did what he wanted. Whenever he wanted. But now... Rey changed all of that. She helped him change himself to better love her and make her more comfortable. Gosh, he loved this woman. She'd wiggled herself right in his heart and he didn't mind it at all. At first, it was a little disturbing that he could feel something so strong for someone he barely knew, but as he grew more comfortable with her, he realized that he didn't mind it so much. In fact, he welcomed it. And well, those feelings became stronger and now they were here.

She shifted in his arms, pressing her head against his chest with a sigh of content, her hand grabbing at his black shirt as the sun poured in through his dark curtains. His lips quirked in a small grin. He'd woken up a little while ago and all he could do was stare at her. Creepy, yes, but his mind was racing with thoughts of her. He realized that today was the day they told Luke. She'd spent a couple of days at his house already and his lonely little apartment suddenly became a home for him. Then again, she was here, too. "It's kind of hard to sleep with you staring at me, Ben," she whispered, peeking an eye open to look at him.

He chuckled and pulled her closer to him. "Sorry."

"No you're not," she yawned, stretching against him like a cat.

"You're right. I'm not," he said as he flipped them to where she was on her back with him hovering above her. It wasn't threatening, but rather intimate. She looked up at him, fear at first, then she breathed deep and calmed herself. His hand ran up her arm and laced their fingers together above her head. She used the other to pull him down for a kiss. Fire sparked between them and soon all their thoughts were consumed with each other. Before things could get too heated, however, Ben pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. He refused to take it any further until they were married, but the restraint that it took! He inwardly groaned, his body aching to continue, but his mind urging him to be patient. She looked into his eyes and he knew he made the right decision as she smiled at him, a slight hint of pink on her cheeks. "Coffee?" he whispered, earning a gentle nod. They shared one more kiss and they were out of bed.

He walked into his kitchen and put on the coffee pot, bringing down two coffee mugs as Rey took her seat at the bar where she'd sat since their engagement dinner. Her eyes caught sight of her ring and she absently twirled it. Ben watched her quietly, not daring to say anything to her as she contemplated things. Her face showed that she was lost in thought. He didn't bother her, knowing she still needed time to process things. It would take her a bit, he knew. It took him a bit to process, too, honestly. Neither one of them had had anyone that truly cared for them, but now, their world had been turned upside down. She finally had someone that cared. Someone that was willing to accept her for who she was, who she had become. And he was ok with that. He was fine having her with all her damaged, broken parts. And she was fine with him. He had changed his anger problem, she noticed. He was a lot more patient, and less likely to blow up. Her eyes flicked up to him then, watching him consider her. Their eyes met and they held the stare for a few moments, neither looking away, neither wanting to. She felt her lips pull up into a smile as he pushed away from the counter and walked around the bar, not once breaking her gaze. She turned to him and their arms were around each other and lips on the other's, sharing an intimate kiss.

When they pulled away, Ben was grinned down at her and she was smiling softly. "I love you, Ben."

"I know," he said with a grin. She rolled her eyes at him then and playfully punched his shoulder. "Couldn't resist," he said with a wink.

"You Solo men..." she said with a sigh as she started to make the coffee he'd started. She turned and handed the coffee to him before she set out at making her own. "Are you worried?"

Ben looked at her for a moment, slightly curious as to what she was thinking. That's when he picked up on the anxiety that was just pouring off of her. He reached for her hand, entwining their fingers, giving it a soft squeeze. "Not a bit. Unless you're having second thoughts?" The question was simple enough, but it hurt him to say it. He saw her bite her bottom lip, worrying it a little as she seemingly thought about it for a moment. "Rey...?"

She wouldn't look at him. "What if you marry me and... I make you unhappy?" She looked up at him and saw shock in his eyes, like she'd just grown five heads or something. "I mean, think about it, Ben. I have issues... I probably won't be able to do... _that_ for a while... Would you be ok with that? That's not really fair-"

He sighed and couldn't help but let out a laugh. It was a genuine laugh, full of mirth and amusement. It took her aback as she listened. She was trying to have a serious conversation with him, and he was _laughing_ at her?! He then turned his gaze to her, a full-blown grin on his full lips. "Do you think I care about that?" Rey squinted at him, as if that would help her hear. "It's part of life, sure, but you can't miss what you've never had, right?" he asked with a wink. Sure, he wanted her, but he wouldn't push her either. "I know what I'm getting into, Rey. I'm not marrying you for _that_... I'm marrying you because of you. I love you, not your body." She shrank a little as he grabbed her face in his hands, the most delicate of touches as always, despite how large he was in comparison. "Though that's a perk." She started to laugh then as she brought her own hands up to hold his on her face, understanding in her eyes. "Don't back out on me, Rey," he pleaded softly in a hushes whisper. She noticed the desperation in his eyes then and she felt the overwhelming urge to console him.

"I'm not, Ben. I promise. I want this as much as you do... I just... don't want you to be stuck with me..."

Ben rolled his eyes, something she hadn't seen him do in a while. "It's not being stuck if I willingly stay, Rey." True... She smiled at him and nodded. "Great. Now let's go tell the hermit." He kissed her chastely and flipped her over his shoulder, carrying her into the bedroom. She smacked his butt on the way, earning a laugh from Ben at her boldness.

An hour later, they were showered and dressed, Rey wearing some of Ben's clothes, and on their way to Luke's. He watched her slide into his Nissan and smiled down at her, knowing that that was going to be her place for the rest of their lives. He shut her door and walked over to his own. After he started the car and started driving to Luke's, her hand found his, the comfortable silence taking them again. When they arrived not too long after, Ben helped Rey out of the car, hugging her tight and whispering confidence into her ear. "It'll be all right. I'm more concerned about Maz," he said with a soft chuckle, earning another chuckle in response from her.

"Ah, there you are!" Luke called from the garage. The couple turned to look at Skywalker as he walked out with his cup of coffee, brow raised at the two hugging in his driveway. "As cute as that is, I don't think it will draw customers," he said with a small grin. The two rolled their eyes at him and walked over to him, hand-in-hand. "So... how long are you back for this time?" he asked as he escorted them into the kitchen. He didn't miss the glance they exchanged and he just chuckled. "Ah... I get my house back then."

Rey tilted her head at him. "What-"

Luke motioned to her left hand with a wink. "You don't think I know what that is and what it means?" He was clearly amused, but Rey noticed his voice cracking as he said it. She frowned, knowing it was difficult for him. She'd been with him for a while and she knew he looked at her like a daughter... but she'd never really seen him show any emotions except the usual caution, compassion and snark. Luke turned his attention to Ben, who was carefully studying Rey to see how she was going to react. Luke saw tears flowing from Rey's eyes then. "What's wrong, kid?"

Rey shook her head as she walked to him and hugged him tight, a motion she only once initiated herself. Luke's eyes widened as he looked at Ben, then looked down at her. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around Rey, unsure of what to do with this. Ben suppressed a laugh at his uncle's awkwardness. The old hermit didn't hug much. And when he did, it was like this. Luke gently shushed her as he took to rubbing her back now. "No water works, kid. I'm happy for you." He pulled her away to look down at her. "You've grown a lot, Rey. I'm glad you could find someone that understands you and cares for you. Ben will treat you good," his tone held a threat to it as he cut his eyes up at Ben, who was smirking and nodding at him. Luke looked back down at Rey to see her smiling wide at him. "Have you met Maz yet?"

Ben and Rey both broke into laughter at the same time. "Yes," she said with a smile. "She said we'd be married within a year."

Luke's brows went up quick, as if to say 'ahh.' "Maz is never wrong," he said as he shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "So then... I take it you're here to gather your things?" Rey blushed and nodded quietly. Luke nodded knowingly. "All right. You still want your job?" Rey nodded eagerly. He laughed. "Ok, it's yours." Rey hugged him one last time before taking her spot next to Ben again, hand in his. Luke rubbed his beard for a moment and shrugged. "I've been looking for someone to take over the business anyway," he said as he walked into the kitchen to pour more coffee.

Rey gawked for a moment. "What?"

Luke shot a, "You heard me," over his shoulder.

Rey looked up at Ben, mouth wide and he looked down at her with a confused shrug. "Luke, what-"

Luke turned to look at them then. "Look, kid. I'm not going to be around forever. And I didn't have any kids until you came here. So when I die, the business does, too. But it doesn't have to be that way. You two know your way around the garage and how to fix things, so why not? Do you want the business or not?"

Rey didn't know what to say. Ben was speechless, too. He stepped forward and stared at Luke for a moment before offering his hand to his uncle. Luke shook his hand with a curt nod. "Luke... thank you."

Luke shrugged at him. "No problem, kid. Least I could do. Anyway, be here tomorrow morning so we can start to go over the legalities of it all. For now, maybe you should start getting your stuff," he said as he walked out to the garage without another word.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

It didn't take too long before they had everything packed up and loaded into the back of Luke's truck and some in Ben's car. With one last look at her old room, Rey walked out, closing the door behind her. It was bittersweet. She'd lived the best part of her years here in this room, with Luke. He'd helped her through so much. He'd gotten her to open up to him and to help her move past some of the trust issues. He'd kept his distance and listened patiently. He'd been so understanding. He'd become a father figure to her, one that was welcomed. At first, she wanted to know why Leia didn't want her, but now she knew that Leia was trying to pull her own family together. She knew that if Rey had come to live with her, things would get even worse, and it wasn't the best environment for Rey. No, Leia and Luke knew what they were doing. They knew that Luke was more capable of handling her, issues and all. And it had all worked out. Rey had grown into a competent woman, no fears of cars and fixing things. She knew more than half the guys around here about cars. Cars... Cars led to Ben Solo.

She smiled at that as she got into his car, lost in her thoughts. Ben could tell it was hard for her to move and leave Luke, even if they were ten minutes down the road. It was more a shift of environment for her. More of a scenery change. She was fine staying the night at his apartment, sure, but... living somewhere else from what had been her sanctuary... that was a different monster altogether. She was taking it well though, he noticed. She seemed a little uneasy, but she seemed happy. Unless his mind was deluding him to thinking so. That was a possibility, too. He felt the need to stay silent though as she worked it all out in her head. He knew that if she had a problem, she would tell him. He trusted her to tell him. When she was ready.

They pulled into the apartment complex and Ben signaled for Luke to park next to his car. Luke backed into the space as Ben shut the car off. She went to get out of the car, but Ben grabbed her hand gently. She turned to look at him, her eyes full of question. There were plenty of things he wanted to say to her... but instead, he gave her a small warm smile. "Welcome home, Rey."

That seemed to be the right answer because she hugged him across the car and kissed his cheek. "Home is where you are, Ben." She pulled away to see his face. He was moved, apparently, but he was also biting back a soft chuckle as he got out of the car, too. They helped Luke unload as Ben led the way upstairs to the apartment. He unlocked the door and went inside, Luke letting off a whistle of amazement.

"You got a good place here, Ben. Dark... but good." Ben snickered at his uncle. Always the anti-dark person.

"It will lighten up soon when Rey finishes her part," he said with a wink, kissing her temple and running back downstairs to get more boxes.

Rey looked at him curiously before Luke set a hand on her shoulder. "He wants you to redecorate."

The move went smoothly. All of Rey's stuff was moved in and now Ben's apartment-... _their_ apartment looked crowded. But it wouldn't be that way for long. Once they put everything away, it would be back to how it was before. They sat on the couch, Ben handing Luke a beer as he looked at Rey to gauge her reaction. She smiled at him and nodded. He popped the top off and sipped it. He held it out to Rey to try and she hesitantly took it. He took her free hand, reassuring her that if she didn't want to, she didn't have to. She swigged it quietly and made a face at the taste, causing Ben to laugh softly. "We'll have to see what you like, if you're up for it." Rey blushed and nodded with a small smile. "Rey, you don't-"

"I want to. I'm curious," she said with a smile. She couldn't hide from alcohol her whole life. Just because of a few people. She wouldn't cower in fear over something that a few people ruined for her. She had to make her own decisions about it. And besides, Ben wasn't a jerk when he drank. He seemed to know his limit. And when he met his limit, he stopped. It made her trust him more.

They chatted for a while before Luke started to yawn. He stood from the recliner and nodded at the two. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night." Luke wasn't one for hugging so he just left with a wave, seeing himself out.

Ben and Rey looked at each other and she curled against him with a small sigh, his arm finding her side to gently rub affectionately. He was starting to wonder if it was too much for her. They'd gotten engaged a few days ago, and now they were living together, starting today, and Luke was giving them his business. It was so much so fast, he realized. His own head was reeling from it all; he could only imagine how it was for her. She seemed to be taking it all right... but he just didn't know. Maybe she just needed to process it for a while? "Rey-"

"I like it here," she whispered as she curled closer to him.

"I'm glad."

"It'll take some getting used to... but I like this. Being here with you. It's nice," she said as she yawned, leaning her head onto his chest, fingers splayed out over his shirt. He looked down at the ring on her finger then and kissed her forehead, leaning his cheek against her. "We should see Maz soon," she whispered, voice heavy with exhaustion.

"We will," he whispered to her. "Good night, Rey."

She mumbled a good night and fell asleep almost instantaneously on him.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

They awoke the next morning, comfortable in each other's presence. It didn't take them long to get dressed, grab some coffee and head over to Luke's. They had a big day, they realized. They had to discuss business matters with Luke, visit Maz, and put her stuff away at their apartment. Sure, it was no rush, but it was something they both wanted to do, so it stood to say that they were comfortable with their plans. They also wanted to talk about a date for the wedding, both of them eager to get it done with and make things official. Ben was trying not to push, though he was really excited, and Rey was trying not to overwhelm herself and him with thoughts of it. Nothing had been worked out, nothing had been discussed. It was just a calmness that overcame them both, with an underlying excitement bubbling up occasionally.

Things had been going well with Luke passing the business down to them. He'd already called and met with lawyers to transfer the business and they were actually there when Ben and Rey arrived, which made things a lot easier. When it came time to sign her name, Rey blushed for a moment and then scribbled out her signature: Rey Solo. Ben could have died with how happy he was to see that on paper. She knew it made him happy, and it made her happy to see it on paper, too. It was like it was official already. After the lawyers had advised them on their next step, telling them to wait for the official paperwork to be sent to them finalizing everything, Luke had led them both around, showing them the ins and outs of the business.

From ordering, to scheduling, to maintenance and repairs, Rey and Ben had their hands full. They already started to make their own individual checklists and delegating things to each other. Something they found they were on the same page about when they had actually talked about it. Luke's only request was that he be kept on payroll until he retired, which apparently was going to be soon-ish. He also showed them the ropes with that. They were so grateful that Luke was helping them along because it was definitely difficult for them.

Once things were done over there, they decided that it was lunch time. After exchanging mischievous grins, they both decided silently that it was time to go visit Maz. They'd drove over there, talking about the business and Ben could already tell that Rey would make an excellent business owner. She was itemizing and delegating and talking out loud for plans of weekly and monthly maintenance checks. He couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. He knew it wasn't in her to fail. At anything. They'd pulled into Maz's before she realized it, looking up when he stopped the car. A dark blush appeared on her cheeks when she realized she'd been talking the whole 20 minute drive to Maz's. Ben helped her from the car and pulled her for a kiss. "I do hope you'll put as much enthusiasm into wedding plans, Mrs. Solo," he said as he kissed her again, earning a blush from her as well as a soft laugh.

"We'll see about that, _Benny boy_."

They walked into Maz's and the greeter opened her mouth to greet them, only to be cut off by Maz's boisterous laughter from the back. The tiny woman walked down the aisle, clapping her hands in excitement to see the two again. "Benny and Rey! Good to see you again. Come, come, have a seat." The two walked with her and sat with her again, just like last time. Once she put in the orders for them, she turned her attention back to them. They both seemed to glow and Maz didn't fail to notice. "So... when's the date?" she asked nonchalantly.

Rey and Ben laughed in unison. "You tell us," Rey said with a challenging smirk.

Maz stared at her for a moment and then she let out a loud laugh. "Oh, dear. I don't see you two putting it off any longer than a couple of months," she said with a sweet smile.

Rey thought about it for a moment. They were currently in September... She then smiled and nodded quietly. "November then."

Ben shot his head over to look at him, dang near giving himself whiplash. Rey looked up at him with a warm smile. After a few seconds of staring at her, searching to see if she was really ok with that, he gave her a gentle smile. "November." He knew that was more than enough time to get things situated.

Maz clapped her hands happily. "November it is then. I'll do the catering, naturally!" Ben and Rey didn't hear her. They were too lost in each other, having finally set a time together. And Rey had been the one to set it up. And he was ok with that. Maz went on without a word being heard. "Rose can do the flowers... I have the catering... Luke can get the venue set up... Leia can-"

Ben kissed Rey and their world melted away. This is where they both belonged.


	17. Bound

**A/N: Ok, guys! It's this chapter and then the epilogue left. So.. it was fun while it lasted, but I'm ready to end it now. Thank you all so much for reading and the reviews were very welcome. Thank you so very much for the support! Sorry for the long chapter! I couldn't decide if I wanted to put the wedding into it and the reception, but as you see, I decided to, so that added a lot more than I expected. Next one won't be too awful long. Enjoy this last chapter before the epilogue!**

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**BROKEN**

_Chapter 17: Bound_

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The months flew by. So much had happened in a couple of months. Rey and Ben had started running the business in an official capacity. Rey was handling the book work and customer service, as is fitting, and Ben was handling inventory and scheduling. They worked together, complimented each other, in so many ways. Just as they had since meeting. The business was flourishing! Rey and Ben even had to hire on another person to help them out, Finn. He was a quiet one, but he was really fun to be around. Ben wasn't really fond of him with the odd little looks he'd been shooting Rey, but he'd figured out that once they kissed in front of him, Finn stopped the looks. Rey had also met his new girlfriend, Rose, and hit it off with her. Ben was happy to see Rey getting more friends. Ben was still not too keen on making friends, though, which wasn't really a problem for him. He was civil to everyone, which was saying a lot because the old Ben would just be shooting daggers at everyone and reply with icy comments that pierced straight to the core.

He sat in the garage, looking at the parts and tickets that had come through. Rey was answering the phone like a perfect little businesswoman and Ben couldn't help but watch her from time to time, a small smile on his face. Finn had seen it a few times and gawked, making some comment along the lines of "The Ice King _can_ smile." Ben promptly shot him a look and rolled his eyes at the boy. Ben stood and stretched from his spot after Rey handed him another ticket, still on the phone with the customer, mouthing off the required dates. Ben checked the books and nodded as he penciled in the customer's name that Rey had handed a paper about. She walked away with the confirmation, Ben kissing her temple gently, earning a wink from her. Once she hung up, she sighed and flitted around the garage, seeing Luke watch her with keen interest. She was doing just fine. It was amusing to see the two of them working together. They had great work ethic, he realized. He had chosen well. It made him proud to know that the woman he helped raise had turned out so well with his nephew who had so many issues from childhood. But seeing Ben now...

Luke let a true smile come over him as he watched Ben smile over at Rey. He truly was proud of his family. They'd come so far and helped each other so much. He knew that when he was gone, these two kids would be just fine. Ben glanced behind him and saw Luke smiling at him. He was a bit taken aback at that, since Luke didn't smile like that, especially not at him. Luke nodded at him from his position in the doorway and Ben gave him a small cheeky smile. Luke just snickered and shook his head, retreating back into the house. He was fine knowing that the broken was bound now. Even if it was held together with duct tape and chewing gum, they were still together. And they were happy this way.

At the end of the day, Rey closed up with Ben. Finn gave them a wave as Rose showed up to meet him after work. Rose hugged Finn and then ran to Rey and hugged her as well. Rey let out a soft laugh as Ben closed the garage door. "We're going for dinner. You in?" Rose asked with a glowing smile.

Rey thought about it for a minute and gave her friend a gentle shake of the head. "Not tonight. But thanks, Rose." Rose nodded and her and Finn left.

Ben looked down at Rey, a brow quirked at the turndown. "Are you feeling ok?"

Rey nodded and held her fiance's hand. "I just want to be at home with you tonight." Ben smiled at her. "If it's ok with you... maybe we can go out next time with them?" He nodded contently. She kissed him and snatched his keys from him, earning a grunt. "I'll drive this time!"

Ben rolled his eyes. He'd gotten over the 'no one will drive my car' rule. He knew she really wanted to drive it, so he let her. He took the passenger seat this time, Rey jumping into the driver's seat with a happy squeal. She drove all the way home, loving this car so much. She beamed all the way home, he saw, which made him smile lazily at her. He had leaned his head back against the seat, arms crossed as he dozed for a few minutes. When they pulled into the apartment complex, Rey cut the car and looked over at the sleeping Ben, admiring his relaxed and beautiful face. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "We're home."

Ben woke and sighed as he rubbed his eyes. They got out of the car in silence. As they climbed the steps, Rey unlocked the door and went inside, kicking off her shoes and setting to work in the kitchen to give Ben a break. This was their routine. If either one looked too drained, the other would take over dinner. Ben had taught her how to cook the basic things and she was grateful since all she really knew how to do before was make tea and stuff. She'd learned a lot in the past few months. She started the noodles and started the meat for spaghetti. Ben walked through the door, hand going over his face in utter exhaustion. Finn had ruined a few things on a car and Ben had lost his temper again. It always drained him when he got angry. Mainly because he beat himself up for it way harder than his explosion in the first place. All Rey had to do was put a hand on his shoulder and he had calmed down, telling Finn to go take a break. The poor boy had come back, albeit hesitantly, not too long afterwards with the part in hand that he'd broken. Ben found new respect for him then. He gave him a grin and the two set out to fixing it together. Ben had taught Finn how to properly install an alternator, and it didn't include beating it to death.

Rey had seen the whole thing. She saw him lose his temper after so long, but she also saw him apologize to Finn. They shook hands and that was that. She was glad that Finn didn't hold grudges because it was especially difficult for Ben to apologize to anyone, let alone a stranger. She was proud of him for the progress. She watched as he kicked off his boots and headed to the shower. She debated following him, but decided against it, remembering that she needed to cook dinner. And besides that, they weren't married. She was sure he'd have a problem with it anyway. She smiled softly at the amount of respect Ben had for her, and for himself. She knew it was a struggle for him to keep himself in check sometimes, but the restraint he showed with her, not pushing anything, was remarkable. She could tell how his mood changed when he would get too intimate with her. He went from quick need to slow and loving. She could tell that he was calming himself down so he wouldn't do something either of them would regret. And she was so very grateful for him and his control. As much as she'd been abused in the past, she still wanted him.

She finished dinner and set a beer out for him, knowing he would probably want one. She grabbed a water for herself and plated everything. Just as she set both plates at their spots at the bar, Ben emerged with a towel around his neck. He was shirtless, hair wet, wearing black plaid pajama pants. He looked at the dinner laid out for him and smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her forehead. "Smells good, Rey."

Rey smiled shyly as she took her seat next to him comfortably. They ate quietly, both drained from the day's events. It was a happy silence. "So... one week left," she said, a small blush on her cheeks.

Ben glanced over at her, considering her expression for a moment. "Are you nervous?" Rey nodded. "We don't have to if you're not ready yet," he offered, though he was hoping that she wouldn't back out. He'd been looking forward to it since she announced it to Maz.

"No... we told everyone November. We can't just cancel because I'm not ready."

"The date doesn't matter, Rey. What matters is that you're comfortable enough to do it. Everyone will understand."

Rey thought about his words carefully, lifting her water bottle to her lips and sipping quietly. She set it down then turned to Ben. "I'm nervous... but I want it to happen. I'm not backing out. It's happening in a week."

Ben studied her face, her nervous eyes, her quivering lip, her pink cheeks. "As long as you're comfortable." Rey nodded firmly. "Ok." He finished his beer and kissed her cheek softly. His hair tickled her face at the quick movement, her arms winding around his neck affectionately. She pulled at him, forcing him to stand between her legs. She wrapped her legs around him and he lifted her off the chair, carrying her to the bedroom, dishes forgotten. He plopped her on the bed and kissed her lips, earning a small giggle from her as she pulled away. "I need to take a shower, Ben," she whispered, his lips finding her neck as he nipped at it and laid kiss after kiss on the soft skin. "Ben-"

"Don't worry. I'm not..." He let it hang in the air as he looked down at her with a small smile, a slight pink hue on his cheeks as well. "Not tonight," he whispered to her as he kissed her one last time. "Go take a shower."

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

The week had come and gone. The day before their wedding, Rey kissed Ben goodbye to go stay with Luke, as per tradition. It was the most restless night they both had had in a while. Both from eagerness to loneliness. But they knew that it was only one night. And at the end of the day tomorrow, they'd be together forever, never to be separated except through death. As Ben lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, he thought about tomorrow. Would she be ok? He reminded himself that they didn't have to consummate the marriage immediately, and that it would probably take her some time. He didn't even care how long it took. He meant what he said to her; he couldn't miss something he'd never had. He rolled over in bed, the smell of her in his bed making his mind drift to her as he drifted to sleep with a smile on his face. He wasn't nearly as nervous as she was.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Rey paced her old room at Luke's, staring at her wedding dress that hung in the closet. She knew he would like it. It was strapless, a bow tied around the bust and the dress went to the floor elegantly. It looked like a princess gown. She hated dresses, but she didn't mind getting dressed up for one day. She bit her nail as she studied the dress quietly. She loved it when she bought it... but now she wasn't so sure. It must have been pre-wedding jitters. She sighed as she rushed down the stairs to get some tea for herself. Luke kept some around for her, just in case she ever wanted a vacation or visited or something. She drummed her fingers on the bar as she waited for the water to spit out of the machine. "Hey, kid." Rey grunted in response. "Can't sleep?"

"Nope."

"Nervous?"

"Yep."

Luke sighed as he walked up behind her, a hand resting on her shoulder. "You'll be fine. It's just a change in title. That's it. You guys are living together already, so there's really not much changing except the physical relationship and a title." Rey's cheeks heated up fiercely at the physical changes. "Ahh... that's what you're worried about. I see." Rey averted her glance, shielding her face behind her hair. "Rey, don't think about it too much. If you're not ready for that, Ben would be fine waiting. I'm sure he's already told you." She nodded. "So then what's there to worry about?" Rey stiffened for a second. "He has enough control to resist. He's done so so far, right?" Rey hesitantly relaxed and nodded. "If you keep thinking too much about it, you'll get cold feet." Rey looked at him curiously. "It means you'll run away and not go through with the wedding."

"I won't run."

Luke nodded. "Good. Drink your tea and go to bed. You have everyone coming over early tomorrow."

As soon as Luke was gone, she felt tears falling from her eyes, unable to keep them in any longer. She loved him so much, but she was so scared! She felt the doubt rising in her chest again and she pushed it away. She didn't need to doubt him. He was fine. He was nice. Gentle. Caring. He wouldn't hurt her. He hadn't so far. He'd told her multiple times that he would wait for her. He'd proven it. If he didn't mean it, he surely would have cracked by now. She ascended the stairs with her tea, sipping it pensively. She flicked her eyes at the wedding dress that was staring her in the face. Her mind went to tomorrow and she smiled softly. Tomorrow, she would be Rey Solo. Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach, making her let out an airy laugh. Tomorrow would be as perfect as their engagement. As perfect as their confession. As perfect as... their broken pieces being fixed and bound together.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

A loud rap at the door shook her awake as the door came flying open, women pouring in to get Rey out of bed, all led by Rose. "Up and at em, Rey! Let's get you ready to be hitched!" Rey groaned as she pulled the blanket back over her face. She wasn't ever a morning person... Apparently Rose was... The blankets flew off of her, making Rey shrink into herself. She was wearing Ben's shirt and some running shorts for bed. She sighed and glared at Rose, who was smiling down at her like she'd won the lottery. "We have coffee for you!" she said as Leia handed her the cup with a soft smile. It occurred to her then who exactly was there.

Rey shot up out of bed and looked around her room. Rose. Rose's sister, Paige. Leia. A friend of Leia's, Amilyn. She'd met them all before and was actually close to them all, but not as close as to Rose and Leia. Tears came to her eyes as she realized once again that she was getting married today. Rose laughed and hugged her friend. "Now now... don't ugly cry." Rey choked out a laugh as she took the coffee Leia was holding out. She sipped it slowly and watched as Rose was flitting around the room, organizing everything in what she called "stations." There was a makeup station that Amilyn was going to head up, a nail station that Paige had, a hair station that Rose had, and final touches that Leia had. "To the makeup station!"

"Rose... can I bathe first?" Rey asked in a small voice.

Rose laughed and nodded then, clapping her hands excitedly. "Yes, yes, of course! Hop to it!"

Rey smiled and pulled herself from bed, walking to the bathroom to shower. She heard the chatter of her friends and wondered how Ben was faring with Maz, Luke and Finn.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Ben was already awake stupid early. He made himself coffee and sighed as he heard the knock at his door. It was too early for this... He didn't want a bunch of people in his house... He was more than capable of getting ready on his own. Begrudgingly, he walked to the door and there stood Maz, Luke, Finn and... another guy. His eyes narrowed at the other guy, already not liking him with the arrogant air he was putting off. "Morning, Benny boy! This is Poe, Finn's friend." Poe nodded at him and Ben back before he stood aside with a sigh, knowing full well that there was no point in arguing with Maz.

"Maz, I can get-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you can get ready by yourself, but this is your special day, Ben. So just accept the help." Ben sighed and shrugged. He knew it was no use, but at least he had to try.

"Coffee's ready for whoever wants it. Cups are in the top right cupboard. Help yourselves. I'm getting a shower." He left the room and shut his bedroom door with a sigh. He didn't like a lot of people in his house... He hated it. He went to the shower and heard Maz barking out orders. Apparently, from what he could make out, Finn and Poe were in charge of ambiance for afterwards. Luke was in charge of helping him get decent. Maz would take care of reception preparations, which were apparently happening at Maz's restaurant. She'd shut the whole thing down just for them and their party. He shook his head and went into the shower, preferring not to think about it at the moment.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Rey walked into her room, wearing another one of Ben's shirts and stopped to see Leia standing there with a small smile. The older woman was staring at her, much as Ben did, as if she were studying her. After a minute, Leia smiled and wrapped her arms around Rey. "I'm happy for you, Rey."

Rey smiled and hugged her back. "Thank you, Leia."

Rose clapped her hands to demand attention, earning a small glare from Leia, who apparently had an issue with taking orders. "All right, Rey! Let's get you dolled up!"

Rey rolled her eyes and went over to the first station: makeup. Amilyn smiled down at her, looking at her face for a quick moment. "You don't need much, if any," she said as she started to apply a moisturizer to her face and then foundation. Rey wasn't used to this much makeup. She hated it already. As Amilyn went on with her procedure, Rey noticed that everything she did was very calculated, as if she were making a strategy in her head ten steps ahead as she applied each stroke of a brush. Until Amilyn told her to close her eyes. She felt the eye makeup being applied and she sighed softly. Maybe this wasn't so bad... She just hoped she didn't look like a clown when all of this was done.

Amilyn muttered a soft "done" and Rose squealed with delight. "All right! Next station!"

Rey sighed as she got up and went to Paige. Paige looked as uncomfortable as she did. Paige did her nails, sure, but she didn't really put much effort into her own. She leaned close to Rey with a mischievous smirk. "Can we pretend like we did something, or would that make Rose mad?"

Rey laughed softly. "She's your sister."

Paige rolled her eyes with a smile. She started to paint Rey's nails a pretty blue. Her accent nail was a stormy grey as Paige drew a simple line across her nail in grey on the blue nails and blue on the grey nails. Once she was done, she put a top coat on it and let Rey dry. "I know you're not a fancy type of girl so... I hope you like it."

Rey nodded with a small smile of thanks. "I don't like anything flashy," she said with a soft laugh. "This is great. Thank you, Paige."

It continued much the same way like that, the girls chatting in her room. Leia kept watching Rey, seemingly lost in thought. When she went over to the hair part, Rose eagerly started to brush her hair, thinking about what to do for Rey's hair. Her hair was short, but not too short to put up in a bun... Long enough to be close to doing nothing with, but not long enough for a pretty braided upstyle. Deciding on what to do, Rose started to gently braid Rey's hair, swooping it behind her head and tugging at some of the strands. She did the same with the other side, leaving bangs to fall into her face. Rey sipped her coffee patiently, anxiety welling in her as she wondered what Rose was doing to her hair. After a few more moments of careful pinning and tugging, Rose smiled at her. "Finished." The other girls smiled at the hairstyle, easing Rey's fears a lot. She couldn't wait to see what everyone had done, not having the luxury to see anything done except her nails at the moment.

She looked at the time. Less than an hour remained. She worried her bottom lip as Leia rose from her place on the bed and walked over to her dress. "Time to get dressed, Rey," she said gently. It was so motherly that Rey felt her chest tighten at the affection in that one sentence. She nodded and set her coffee down. She hesitantly took her clothes off, the girls not paying her any attention. Leia did see the scars on her back and frowned to herself. Those would show over the strapless wedding dress. She thought quickly and whispered to Amilyn, earning a nod as Amilyn left the room. Rey stepped into her dress, careful not to disrupt anything that had happened. She had already put on her strapless bra as she pulled the dress up her figure, the smooth satin hugging her curves as she turned for Leia to help zip it up. The older woman zipped it gently and saw the scars on her shoulder and back. "Amilyn is coming back in a moment with something for you to wear over this." Rey turned to look at her, wondering what it was she was talking about. As she studied Leia's face, Leia raised her brows and dropped her head a bit in typical Leia fashion, expecting her to figure it out. Rey blushed as she felt anxiety well in her chest. She hadn't even considered her scars! "It's ok. She'll be back soon."

Rey nodded and Leia started to do a walk around. She tied the bow in the back, fluffing it to make it presentable. She took some flower pins and started gently putting them in Rey's hair. When she finished there, she walked around and looked at Rey, a small smile on her face. Amilyn had come back, holding a lace bolero. It was just enough to cover her back and arms. Leia and Amilyn helped Rey put it on, fastening it to the middle of her top where it couldn't be seen. The back fastened to the bottom of her bra, making it appear seamless and that it was just part of the dress. Rey smiled gratefully at the two. Leia looked at the woman before her that was marrying her son. She didn't need to wear earrings, having no piercings anyway. But Leia did give her a necklace. She presented it to her and Rey felt tears well in her eyes. "It was mine when Han and I got married. I want you to have it, Rey." Rey eyed the beautiful necklace. Silver chain with a delicate diamond in the middle of it. She could tell with how short it was that it was a choker. She smiled warmly at Leia and threw her arms around the older woman, mumbling a thank you into her ear. Leia smiled and put the choker on her then.

Rose and Paige brought a long mirror so Rey could get a full view of herself. Her eyes widened at her own appearance. She looked... _"Beautiful."_ Ben's words echoed in her mind as she turned a little to admire the back of her gown and her hair. Her hair was braided at the sides, a pretty waterfall braid on each side. Decorative white flower pins accented her braids all the way to the back of her head, which were held together by several more white flower pins that looked like one long beret. Her makeup was minimal. Amilyn wasn't kidding. She put on a few nude colors, browns to accent her eyes in just the right way, mascara, and a slightly darker lipstick, just a hair darker than her lips. The choker sat above her bolero, not interfering with it in the least. She looked at her friends and tried her best not to cry. "Hey, hey! You'll mess up your makeup!" Rose exclaimed as she rushed to her friend, hugging her tight. The rest of them followed and after a few moments, they all pulled apart.

Leia took Rey's hand and led her out of her room. "Rey, I want to thank you." Before she could ask what for, Leia continued. "I wasn't ever there for my son. I wasn't there for you either. I had my own wreck at home. Han was in and out and Ben was neglected all his life... I hurt him so bad. But... I knew there was still good in him. I knew he hadn't closed himself off completely. He was just searching. Searching for the right person to help him become the man I knew he was capable of being." She looked at Rey, holding her hand in her own with an affectionate, motherly smile. "You helped save my son from becoming a monster. Thank you so much, Rey."

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose in utter annoyance. Why were these men here? He really didn't need help getting decent for his own wedding. He didn't need support. He was fine. Not to mention the fact that he didn't really form a close friendship with any of these people currently in his house! He sighed in frustration when he heard another knock at the door. "Hey, kid. You done in there?" Luke called from the other side.

"I don't need you checking in on me, hermit," he called back as he crossed the room to get his underclothes on. When he was done, he opened his phone and debated texting her, but realizing she was probably having a good time with the girls. He let a small smile come over him as he looked at the picture she'd sent him a while back with the rose. It was the first picture she'd actually sent of herself to him. And it was just as if it were still new. He couldn't wait to see her today. Another knock came at the door and he sighed, putting his phone down and walking to the door. He unlocked it and went to his closet to get his suit on.

Luke walked in, shutting the door behind him and looking at Ben, as if sizing him up. Ben paid him no mind as he slipped his suit pants on, tucking his undershirt quietly. Luke observed him for a few moments longer and gave him a knowing smirk. "Nervous?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ben bit out as he raked his hands through his hair. "Terrified," he admitted quietly with a frown. He knew he shouldn't be, but truth be told, he was. He was nervous that she would cancel on him and call it quits. He was nervous that he wouldn't be able to make her happy. He was worried that... they'd end up like his parents.

"You'll both be fine, kid. You won't end up like your parents. Your relationship is different," Luke said in a fatherly voice. It took Ben aback as he shot his dark eyes over at him. His lips were closed tightly, a thin line on his masculine face as he tried to get his thoughts together at Luke's words. "What? You don't think so?" Ben looked away and ripped his shirt off the hanger, slipping it on without a word. Luke then laughed and shook his head, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Ben. She's as happy as you are. Don't let the anxiety get to you. You two will work it out."

Ben's actions slowed then as he went from angrily buttoning his shirt, stopping at his belly to consider Luke's words. He slowly and calmly finished as he gave his uncle a nod. "Thanks."

Luke shrugged and went to walk out of his room. "You got this, kid. I'm heading over to get your wife."

Ben smiled at his uncle, a genuine, giddy smile as Luke called her his wife. It awakened something in Ben. Something warm and amazing. Something that made him realize that freaking out was pointless and that today was the best day of his life. With that, Luke was gone. Ben went back to getting ready, a permanent smile on his face as he walked through the house, grabbing a coffee cup for himself from the kitchen, allowing Poe and Finn to head into the bedroom. Poe had a mischievous look on his face. Ben didn't allow it to affect his mood as he sipped his coffee happily, looking at the clock on the wall eagerly. Maz had long vacated and made her way to her restaurant to get the food ready. Once she was done there, he knew she'd be off at the venue to secure the final touches with his mother. He looked at the clock again and heard Poe and Finn rummaging around in the bedroom quietly. They emerged, holding Ben's jacket and shutting the door behind them. Poe wore a victorious smile. "All right, dude. You're all set for tonight. As soon as you leave, we'll finish up here and lock up."

Ben nodded, shrugging it off. He knew Rey better than they did. He had a sneaking suspicion it would take longer than a night to get her to...

A knock came at the door, one that sounded unsure, but firm in its presence. He tilted his head, but he set his cup down and walked over. When he opened it, he saw his father standing there. His eyes widened and he stood frozen in spot as Han looked up at him with that usual smuggler's smile of his. "Hey, kid."

"What are you doing here?" Ben asked as he felt the anger well up within him. He knew today was too good to be true! Why was he here? To ruin his day? Had someone told him!? When he found out, he would-

Han turned sheepish, but nonchalant all at the same time. Ben could tell he was nervous as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "I wouldn't miss your wedding, Ben." Ben's brows furrowed as he looked down at his father. "Your mother told me... I didn't want to miss your most important day... but if I'm intruding, I'll go. I just... wanted to tell you congratulations."

Han turned to walk away, but Ben bit his cheek. "Wait." Han paused midstep and turned to look at his son. Ben stood awkwardly, but moved to the side. "Coffee?" Han smiled at his son and came back to him.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Rey walked down the steps, the girls behind her making sure her train and veil didn't get caught on anything. There was happy chatter as Leia walked Rey down the steps and handed her off to Luke, who was apparently waiting for them, arms crossed in the doorway. Luke smirked up at her and his sister. "Did he make it?" Leia asked, a somewhat strangled and anxious tone to her voice.

"He was walking up the steps as I was leaving. Wonder if he stayed..." Luke said as he looked over at Rey, taking in the sight of the girl who was usually a tomboy, now arrayed in a beautiful gown and made up for her big day. His smile softened. "You look nice, Rey." Rey blushed and looked away. "He's as nervous as you are," he said as he rolled his eyes and chuckled, Leia joining in briefly.

Leia released her hand, gave her one last hug and smiled at her. "I'll see you in a while." She looked at Luke and punched his arm weakly, but apparently hard enough to hurt Luke, as he rubbed his arm. "Make sure she gets there. CLEAN."

Luke shrugged. "Sure." With that, Leia was gone. He turned back to Rey with a wide grin. "All right, ladies! Pile in! We got a wedding to go to!" Squeals erupted and Rey flinched as she looked at Luke with a small smile. He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a wide grin. "Today is going to be good. Don't fret." She smiled at him and nodded as they all piled into his truck.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Han and Ben sat in silence, but it wasn't really an awkward one. It was just... there. Han looked over at his son, who kept checking the clock to see how much longer he had to wait to get to the venue, which was only fifteen minutes away. Han chuckled then. "When I married your mother, I did the same thing. Couldn't wait for the clock to tell me to go. Wasn't soon enough."

Ben looked at him then. "Why were you always gone then if you couldn't wait to marry her?"

Han sighed heavily, as if he highly regretted everything. "Ben... I would have rather been gone than for you to see us fighting all the time. It was easier if you didn't remember me at all than to remember me in a bad light."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Sure, because being fatherless was a great alternative. And having a mother that was too busy to spend time with you was a really nice reality." His words were venomous, but his tone was even and level. "Why are you here? Why care now? You didn't care before, so why now?"

The older man frowned and couldn't meet his son's eyes. "I messed up, Ben. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. I'm here now. I know it doesn't make up for the past..." Han raised his sight to look at his son. "I love you, son. This is a very important day for you." Ben nodded at his father, acknowledging he was right. "If you'll let me... I'd like to be part of your life again."

Ben thought hard on his father's words. He'd never had his father around for longer than a couple of days. Part of him wondered if this was just another time that he'd be here for a few days, then gone again. His eyes took on a darker hue as he considered that possibility. And then his hand burned. He briefly thought about it. Rey had a burning when he grabbed her... He bit back a laugh, not wanting to seem unstable for laughing for no reason. Oh, but was it funny. They'd left such a mark on each other that he could feel her touching him when she wasn't. He could imagine her here with him now, looking up at him and begging him to consider his options before acting rashly. That was all he needed. "You better not leave again, old man."

Han gave him a classic Solo grin, complete with a nod and a wink. "Not on your life, kid."

The younger Solo nodded and looked at the clock. Just in time. "We'd better get going if we're going to make it in time." Han gave his son a warm smile. He said 'we.' Han was allowed to come. And his family accepted him back. Today was definitely a good day.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Finally, everyone made it to their respective area. Maz had secured a ballroom where Han and Leia had gotten married so long ago. Rey was waiting anxiously in her own room, pacing as she felt herself getting more and more anxious as the time went on. She glanced at her phone. Five minutes. Five minutes until she would walk down that aisle and... And then what? Her face softened and her pacing stopped. Five more minutes and she'd be married to the man she loved more than life itself. The one that helped her through her nightmares. The one that was there for her and worked so very hard to earn her trust. The man that, despite all he went through in his life, was there for her, casting his own worries and problems aside, for her. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot who was in the room with her. Amilyn had already gone to her position as one of her bride's maids, as well as Rose and Leia and Paige. She was left alone with Luke, who, in all respects, would walk her down the aisle and give her away to his nephew.

She got a vibration from her phone and her smile widened. Ben. _"See you in a few, Mrs. Solo."_ She smiled a watery smile, but remembered that her friends would kill her if she messed up her makeup so she bit back the tears and responded back with, _"Can't wait."_ She looked over at Luke and saw him smiling up at her. When he stood, Rey knew it was time. She turned to face him as he stepped toward her and pulled her veil carefully into place. Without a word, he offered her his arm and walked out the door to wait at the entrance of the ballroom. Rey steadied her breathing and closed her eyes as the procession started. Rose and Maz walked together, Maz standing on Ben's side and Rose on Rey's. Amilyn went with Poe and stood in their spots. Rose went with Finn and stood next to them. Leia went with... was that Ben's dad? She'd never met him. Her eyes started to water again as Luke nodded at the smug guy that walked Leia down the aisle to stand in the honored positions, Leia in Maid of Honor and Han in Best Man.

The music changed and Luke gave Rey's hand a small squeeze, a wide grin on his face. Now that he'd shaved, he looked a lot younger, but she could still see where the years weren't as kind to him. "Come on, kid. Let's get you to him." Rey smiled and nodded with determination. And then, they were out in the open. There were a lot of people she didn't know that were there, probably all friends of Maz and Leia. She paid them no mind. She was only focused on Ben. He stood there with his usually contained excitement grin, which was a lopsided smirk, as he watched her carefully, as if memorizing every movement she made. Their eyes stayed glued to each other as they walked the forever walk down the aisle. When they made it there, Luke turned to Rey, lifted her veil, kissed her cheek and smiled down at her. He then turned to Ben and handed Rey off, Rey's hand finally finding Ben's in what seemed like forever. He helped her up the steps onto the small stage and smiled down at her, considering her up close before turning to proceed with the ceremony.

Neither one of them could focus on the words. It was very traditional, sure, but all they could think about was how happy they were. All they'd been through had all came to this. She never would have guessed she would be standing here with Ben Solo, the same arrogant jerk that showed up at Luke's garage out of the blue with his black Nissan GTR, complaining about it not running right. He never would have guessed that he would ever be interested in the girl with grease smeared on her face, working on parts in his uncle's garage, who apparently hated to be touched for fear of being overtaken by her own demons. But they were here.

Ben said his "I do," followed by Rey and when they turned to each other, they put their rings on each other's fingers, Ben shaking as he did so, but Rey quickly getting it done for fear of dropping the band. And then came time for the end. Without hesitation, Ben grabbed Rey's face and pulled her to him, pressing his lips to hers as cheers erupted in the ballroom. Rey melted in his arms, not wanting to break free yet as her hand laid on his chest. When they pulled apart, Ben gave her a warm smile, his own eyes watering at the beauty of it all. He told her he loved her over the cheering and started to escort her down the walkway. Now time for pictures, and then food at Maz's.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

Rey and Ben had piled into his Nissan GTR and scurried off to get their clothes changed for Maz's reception. They both wore smiles and the air between them was a joyous one, one that couldn't wait to start the rest of their lives together. They chose Luke's to change their clothes, both feeling comfortable enough to change in the same room as each other now. Rey glanced over her shoulder at Ben and saw the way his muscles rippled as he slid his jacket off. The shirt underneath did nothing to hide his muscles. He didn't really need to change, but he did want to get out of the bowtie and jacket. She knew he hated that. She couldn't help but giggle at him when he sighed as the bowtie was lost on her old bed. He turned to look at her, smiling at her as she blushed. She slowly turned her back to him, asking if he could unzip and unbutton her, glancing shyly over her shoulder at him. He stood frozen in place, a pink tint slowly turning red. "Ben... can you... I can't unzip it myself."

Ben cleared his throat awkwardly and mumbled under his breath as he approached her. He helped her unfasten the bolero that Leia and Amilyn helped her with. She shrugged out of that with a soft sigh and then his eyes landed on the scar. He gently touched it and Rey stiffened. "What happened?" he asked softly.

Rey ducked her head and glanced back at him. "Plutt. Got in trouble for getting the wrong part and... yeah."

Ben frowned, but shrugged it off as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. "No one will hurt you again," he promised as he kissed her scar. She blushed and smiled at him, holding his clasped hands around her waist. "Let's get this dress off of you," he said as he gently released her and went to work at unbuttoning and unzipping her dress. The more he saw of her naked back, the more he wanted to see, but he resisted the urge. When she was unzipped, the dress started to fall to the ground, but she grabbed it and held it against her quietly. "I'll go," he said as he started to walk off, but Rey grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"It's ok," she whispered. Her face was redder than red, but somehow her voice exuded confidence. He stayed when she released his hand, a quick glance up at him, showing she was comfortable enough. A small smile formed on her lips. She let the dress fall, revealing her undergarments to him. As much as he wanted to stare, he also wanted to give her privacy, but then realized that he'd see her this way a lot in the future anyway so he decided to look at her, his eyes raking up and down her body, as if memorizing every curve, dip and scar. His eyes then rose to hers. She seemed to be fidgeting uncomfortably. "I... um..."

Ben smiled at her shyness before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her forehead. "You're beautiful, Rey," he whispered in her ear. He felt her body heat up from the blush that was spreading, but she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. He kissed her neck, giving it the necessary attention as she softly sighed in his arms, lolling her head back to give him more access. He glanced up at her and saw her eyes closed in content. He chuckled softly as his hand ran up her ribs, thumb stopping just under her bra. If he wanted to, he could lift and touch, but he stopped. "Not now, love. Or we'll be late." Oh, but he wanted to! And she seemed so open to him now. She let out a huff, showing him more that she wanted to at least try it, but he resisted, pulling away just enough to smile down at her, lips mere inches from hers. "There will be time for that later, if you're still up for it," he purred against her lips, pressing his to hers and sensing her urgency. His hand slid around her back, loving the feel of her soft skin beneath his calloused fingers with no clothes in the way. She pressed her body against his and he bit back a groan before pulling away. He had to steady himself, committed to his resolve to not take her now. But that resolve was steadily slipping, he realized. He cleared his throat when he saw the sultry look Rey was giving him. "W-where's your dress?"

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

After a long time trying to resist each other's advances, they finally made it out of the house. She was in a delicate white dress, spaghetti strap, that reached to just below her knees. It looked like a modest cocktail dress. It had a sash around the waist, coming to a bow on the side. Her heels were white and he substituted his bowtie for an actual tie, black of course, against his white dress shirt. They pulled up to Maz's and Rey heard music coming from the inside. She looked over at Ben and saw him considering her silently. "What?"

Ben smiled at her, his hand going behind her neck and gently pulling her to him. "I love you, Rey," he said as he kissed her again. His right hand played with her rings on her left hand. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss, but they pulled apart when they heard a loud clearing of throats and a knock on the hood.

They looked outside and saw Han standing there with his arms crossed and Leia wearing a small grin. "Save it for later, kids. Hop out," Han said to them, earning a small laugh from Rey. The two got out of the car and Ben held Rey's hand in his. Ben's parents each gave him a hug, telling him how proud they were of him and Han's eyes fell on Rey. "Well now. You must be something special to have gotten Ben's attention. Han Solo," he said as he held out his hand to her. She hesitated, glancing up at Ben and over at Leia. When Leia smiled and nodded at her, she smiled back and looked at Han, giving him a hug.

"Nice to meet you, Han."

Han blinked a few times and awkwardly patted her back. Ben and Leia both let out a chuckle at the man. He clearly wasn't used to being touched unless he initiated it. She pulled back with a smile and Han could see what captivated his son so much. Leia grabbed Rey in a hug then and the two shared a soft laugh, making Ben smirk at his dad. "You see it, too," Ben said simply before stealing his wife back from his mom and walking into Maz's.

The night went as expected. They were forced to dance with each other while everyone was watching, shared some cake, Rey shoving it in Ben's face as a joke and Ben wiping icing on her cheek, only to lick it off. It was a really nice night of being silly. And when she threw the bouquet, as per tradition, as insisted upon by Rose, Paige and Amilyn, she did. Rose caught it. The girl was blushing and smiling from ear to ear and Finn only cleared his throat nervously, smiling shyly at Rose, but Poe elbowed his ribs with a laugh. She looked out from her table next to Ben and smiled at all of her friends. She'd learned that the tall man was Chewie, Ben's adopted uncle. Chewie was a workmate of Han's, and they were as close as brothers. She'd come to appreciate all of these people that she'd come to know.

She felt an arm around her shoulders, a nose nuzzling her ear and that deep voice she loved so much grace her ears. "Thoughts?"

Rey smiled at him and leaned against him, glass in hand with the champagne she realized she loved so much. "It's nice to have a family," she said simply, leaning her head against his shoulder.


	18. Bump (Epilogue)

**A/N: Thank you so much for sticking to the end of the story, guys! I greatly appreciate all of you, especially all those that have reviewed! This is the end of this story, but I will be working on a one-shot with the letter C next. So stay tuned for that! Anyway, hope you enjoy this conclusion! Just a bunch of fluff, and again, no lemons. Enjoy! R&R!**

* * *

**BROKEN**

_Epilogue: Bump_

* * *

Things that were broken were starting to repair themselves, slowly but surely. Ben had been estranged from his father for most of his life, and now they were close for the first time. Han wanted everything to do with him, even teaching him about mechanics and helping him run the business they took over from Luke. Han remained a constant part of both of their lives, which was welcomed since he'd been gone for so long. Han had been working things out with Leia at home, too. They were getting along very well so far. They even talked about moving away to Naboo, but Han had refused to do that since Ben and Rey would not be coming with them. Rey noticed that Han was trying his best to be family-oriented. It was very nice, and even sweet, dare she say. She could tell he was truly trying to make up for lost time.

It had been a little over a year since their wedding. So far things were going smoothly for them as well. They'd just heard that Finn and Rose were engaged to be married in the winter, which was only a few months away. They were excited for the couple. Rey had spent a lot of time around Rose since Finn started working for them. Rose had developed her own company of parts and services, which Rey relied on heavily for supplies. They had a good working relationship and an even better friendship. Ben was happy to see Rey getting out of her comfort zone and get closer to other people. It was promising for the future. Rose had been coming over frequently with Finn and Poe, sharing dinner and watching sports together. Ben had gotten into multiple conversations with Finn, using the Speed channel as a way to teach Finn about cars. They'd gotten along fairly well, even if Ben hadn't wanted to admit that the other man was actually cooler than he thought. He still got annoyed with Finn, but Rey chalked it up to Ben not having people skills. It was actually cute to watch the awkward exchanges of them while they sat on the couch, drinking beer and watching the cars fly down the drag strip.

Poe, on the other hand, was always milling around, looking for something to get into. He'd found pictures and had asked about them, but Ben just shot him a glare and told him it was none of his business. Apparently Ben was sentimental. Poe was always trying to get a deeper understanding of the enigma that was Ben Solo. Rey hadn't told him that the picture that Ben glared at him about was actually a picture Rey sent him when they had first started dating. Along with pictures on the bridge of their first date. She smiled warmly at those pictures. She had a clear view of them right from the kitchen where she stood. Rose had asked her about it a couple of times and Rey just smiled and said it was one of the best times they had together. Of course, pictures from their wedding littered their walls now, too. Ben wasn't really a picture person, since he didn't really want people to see the side of him he'd reserved for Rey, but when they did, it seemed that people wanted to get closer to Ben, which made him awkward. It was a long process. One that Ben would eventually welcome sometime later, she thought.

Amilyn had moved away along with Paige, who were apparently doing some sort of business together. Rose told her not to ask, and seemed to shrink back a little. Whatever her sister and Amilyn were doing, Rey knew Rose didn't agree. She decided not to ask anymore. She kind of wished that the two had stayed here with them, but they decided that it would be better for them to go off somewhere else. She forgot where. She wasn't familiar with it when she heard about it and she didn't solidify it in her mind now.

She snapped from her thoughts with a grunt, her hand gripping the counter as she sighed heavily, eyes closed. Ben was at her side in an instant, arms around her as he rubbed her back gently. "Another strong one?" he asked gently as he kissed her temple, helping her steady her breathing. Rey nodded with a small laugh.

Rey smiled up at him and grabbed his hand, placing it on her stomach to rub the bump there of their growing child. "She's going to be strong."

"Just like her mother," Ben agreed as he pressed his lips to her, drawing gently shapes on her stomach to calm the wiggling baby. Their wedding night was a disaster, but eventually they got it right. It took them several months though. They had both wanted to on their wedding night, but Rey got as far as her clothes coming off. When Ben's hands started to roam, she started to get really scared and he stopped. The apologies were relentless as Rey cried in his arms, worrying that he would never be able to do anything with her. He had shushed her and held her anyway, assuring her that it was all right and they could try again when she was ready. It kept happening that way. It would slowly, very slowly, progress from clothes coming off to light petting until Rey couldn't take it anymore. She'd tried to drink to relax herself, but Ben declined her advances, stating that he wanted her sober and willing, rather than drunk and fuzzy and not even remembering their first time. She'd tried one time after that and Ben had left the house for a run to calm himself down. He'd gotten angry and hurt that she tried again. But when he got back, she was sober enough to talk to him about it. She was trying to deal with it her own way, rather than just taking it easy and letting it happen. She was trying for him, but Ben had told her that he wanted her to do it for her.

They'd had a really nice heart-to-heart talk that night. One that neither of them had forgotten. They'd talked about ways that they would try to keep pushing farther without damaging anything and once they had a plan, they tried again. And again. Now, Ben had wanted to rip his hair out with as sexually frustrated he was getting, but he kept calm and patient and kind with Rey, knowing that it was just as difficult for her. She'd decided after the last failed attempt to at least help him alleviate himself. And it was nice. She'd apologized for essentially teasing him, but he just held her and chuckled in her ear, telling her that he would wait an eternity for her if he had to.

Rey finally had enough and pushed past her mental fragility. Once she had made up her mind about that night being the night, she wasn't going to let anything stop her. They'd taken it slow. Ben was cautious and loving, much to her surprise, but it wasn't unwelcome. It was one of the best nights of her life, she had to admit. To experience that closeness to him after so long was simply amazing. And it wasn't a one-off either. They'd succeeded in overcoming that last part of her mental fragility and now, they were a normal (somewhat) couple. She still had relapses every once in a while, and Ben still had anger flare ups... But together, they managed to help each other through their issues.

Just as they would help their baby. They'd never talked about children. Until she found out she was pregnant at the shop one day. She'd gone into work feeling really nauseous, figuring it was the alcohol from the prior night. It wasn't the alcohol. Luke had bought her a test, giving her a look to take it immediately, and when she found out it was positive... Ben was all but tackled to the floor. Rey was a sobbing mess in his arms as she cried out that they were going to have a child. They were scared, sure, but the happiness overrode everything. As she got further along, Ben had all but locked her out of the shop, saying it was too dangerous for her and his baby to be around heavy machinery with the impending risk of something falling on her and crushing them both. Who knew he would be so protective?

Rey finally settled for taking a seat at the computer, ordering parts and handling the phones and scheduling. Ben, Finn and Poe had all taken over the working side of it as Rey watched from a distance, tossing tools to them every so often when she saw them rummaging around like blind people. She'd felt a surge of emotions watching her husband though. She'd found her thoughts leaning more toward the intimate part of their relationship, pulling him aside mid-work day for a quick session in her old bedroom. He hadn't minded it so much. In fact, Rey noticed that he hadn't complained once. Of course, when they came back, the other guys were just staring at them and chuckling under their breath, shaking their heads as they continued to work. Rey had actually had a pretty stable pregnancy. Her mood swings were few and far between, but her morning sickness was beyond terrible. She'd noticed that it had stopped just a week or so ago. She was about to pop, and she was just now finished with morning sickness. It was such a hindrance. But it was well worth it, she decided. This precious life growing inside of her was well worth any amount of throwing up.

She let Ben lead her to his car, gently helping her into the passenger seat, smiling down at her as she grunted as another kick was sent flying at her rib cage. He chuckled and kissed her belly. "Don't hurt your mom," he said as he rubbed her belly, giving it a little press. The girl pushed her heel against his palm and Rey smiled as she watched Ben's face light up. He was enjoying this, and so was she. She noticed the baby scurry lower and calm down and she sighed in relief.

After a few moments, they were back home. He helped her up the stairs and into the house, sitting her in her chair as he set out to make dinner. As she watched him, she realized that he was smiling so much now. There were few days when she saw him without a smile. She could tell he was truly happy. With her. He fixed her some tea and set it in front of her, earning him a small smile. This was their routine. Ever since she was pregnant, she was craving sweet tea, which was something she never drank before this. Now, Ben was setting the glass in front of her every night when they got home, as if he knew when her cravings would come on. He kissed her forehead and made them some dinner, but she realized he made more than just for the two of them. "Ben-"

There was a knock at the door, making her jump and eye her husband suspiciously. He winked at her and walked to the door, opening it and letting in their guest. In walked Leia, Han, Luke, Rose, Finn, Poe and... Maz?! Tears started to roll down her cheeks as she received hugs from all of them. She got out of her chair and hugged Maz tight. She hadn't seen her for so long. She'd been away on vacation, helping Amilyn and Paige get set up with their business. Rey continued to hold onto Maz, a tight grip around the smaller woman's shoulders as she cried into her shoulder. Maz gently shushed her, petting her hair and rubbing her belly. "It's good to see you, too, dear."

Rey sniffled as she giggled at Maz. "What brings you all here?" she asked, looking up at her family.

Ben helped Rey up with a small smile. "Changes." It was one word. But it made her heart race and her mind whirl. So confusing... She looked up at him curiously.

Before she could ask, Luke stepped forward, holding his hand out to her in a fist. She held out her hand, palm up, and Luke dropped something into her palm. A key? Her brows furrowed in confusion. "What's going on?" she asked, looking at the key that looked oddly familiar.

Han, being as abrupt as he usually was, answered for the group. "You're moving, kid." Rey gawked at him and shot a look up at Ben, fear in her eyes. "Not far. You and Luke are going to switch places."

Rey's eyes widened as she looked at Luke. "Luke, I don't-"

"Hush up. You're going to have a kid any day now. You need more room than a one bedroom apartment. Ben and I already worked out the details. The girls are going to take you out for some baby shopping," he wrinkled his nose, "and us guys are going to stay and move everything over." She tried to object, but he put his hand up at her. "Non-negotiable. You're going to take it. There's no leave it option. I don't need a lot of space anymore, but you do. So the best option would be for it to be my house since it's right there close to work."

Rey's eyes started to spill over with more tears as she threw herself at Luke, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered as Luke patted her back. They both grunted then and Rey pulled away. The baby had kicked Luke through Rey, which made the whole room burst into laughter. Until the contractions started.

**X~x~x~x~x~X**

**FIVE YEARS LATER...**

Clanking. More clanking. Squeals. Giggles. Pitter patter of feet. Rey sighed as she walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes in utter exhaustion. She made her way to the kitchen and saw her family already sitting at the table. Ben sat, drinking his coffee with a full cup next to him. Across from Ben sat Kylo, who was four. His dark hair and eyes made him the spitting image of his father, especially with the scowl on his face. Next to Kayden sat Ren, their five year old daughter, smirking mischievously at her younger brother. She looked like Rey, complete with the trademark three buns at the back of her head. She was reaching over the table to try to get daddy's coffee, who gracefully moved it and shot her a look, making her giggle and retreat to annoy her brother, who scowled at her. Ben looked up and saw Rey, smiling at her as he pulled the chair out beside him to give her room. She smiled softly at him and took her seat, mindful of the small bump on her belly. There was a symphony of "Mornin' mama!" from the kids and a chuckle from Ben as he kissed her temple, giving her his own good morning.

She smiled as she lifted her coffee to her lips, leaning into Ben's hold as he rested his cheek on her forehead. "Finish eating, you two. We have a lot to do." The two children eat their breakfast quickly and bound up the stairs to go get changed and wash their hands, leaving their parents at the table in peace. Ben looked down at Rey, who hadn't budged since she found her spot against him. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

Rey flicked her eyes up at him. "Like a cow." Ben chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Tired, too."

Ben lifted her head with his knuckle under her chin, a loving grin on his face. "I love you, Rey."

She smiled at him. "I love you, too, Ben."

They shared a kiss, only to hear a loud chorus of "EWWWW!" coming from the top of the steps.

Rey broke away and laughed as Ben threw a slipper at the children, who scattered with giggles. He looked down at Rey again and smirked. "Thank you."

"For what, Ben?"

Ben smiled softly at her as his fingers lightly skimmed her belly. "For our beautiful family. For you. For... everything," he replied as he kissed her lips again. Rey smiled into the kiss. What was broken... was repaired with three simple words and the presence of Ben Solo.

**THE END**


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